Wrong Choice
by AreYouAWitchOrNot
Summary: "Some choices we live not only once, but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives." This is the tale of what might have been had Lily Potter been pregnant that night Voldemort offered her a choice. An impossible choice.
1. A Choice

**General Warnings:** _Very_ occasional/mild language; some fairly graphic-ish violence. (Specific warnings can be found at the tops of the offending chapters.) Complies with **T **rating standards in its entirety.

**Feedback Policy: **All is welcome!

**Disclaimer: **This is a work of fanfiction set in and using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. The quote in the summary is by Richard Bach.

**Cover art:** Screencap from _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone _with a generic filter, because I am not artistic in the least.

* * *

><p><span><strong>Wrong Choice<strong>

Chapter 1. A Choice

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him!" James screamed at his wife. Lily stood fast at his side, unwilling or unable to leave him, she wasn't sure—With one shove, James had her through the door of the nursery. "Go! Run! I'll hold him off—"

The front door burst open. Bone-chilling laughter reached Lily's ears. She stumbled over to Harry's crib, reaching in—

A flash of green light from the hall brought Lily to her knees in a sob. A shadow crossed over her. Lily was on her feet again in a moment. "Not Harry! Not Harry! Please — I'll do anything—"

"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!" His high, cold voice froze Lily in place. _He's giving me a choice, _she realized. _A choice. Lord Voldemort is giving me a choice. _

Lily had read stories where time would freeze when the main character had a big decision to make. She wished it would now. _I can't watch my baby die—but whatever I choose, at least one of my children will die—If I save myself, I can raise my unborn baby—but how can I watch Harry die?—he'll die anyway, no matter what I do—but how can I live with myself knowing I stepped aside—CHOOSE, Lily._

Lily's hand flew to her stomach, covering it protectively, as if that motion could protect the tiny human inside her.

"Stand aside, you silly girl! Stand aside!" He was raising his wand. Lily braced herself, trying to look away from those terrible eyes. "Avada Ked—"

Lily threw herself out of the way. Her earth shattered as she looked back. Harry was reaching up, laughing. "Dada!" he exclaimed. After all, it was always his father who made the pretty lights and put on the silly cloaks to make him laugh. When he peeped up into the hood, though, he began to whimper, realizing it was not his father who pointed a wand at him.

"Harry!" Lily choked out. He turned in his crib and looked through the bars at her. "It's okay, sweetheart, Mummy's here, Mummy sees you. Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry! So sorry! I love—"

"Avada Kedavra!"

"—you," Lily finished, tears streaming down her face. Voldemort began to sweep from the room. Wandless, Lily jumped on him from the back, pummeling every inch of him she could reach. Without a word, he threw her across the room. Lily's head crashed against the wall. She fell limply to the floor.

And dreamed.

She dreamed of Dumbledore and McGonagall, walking down a familiar street. Privet Drive. Where Lily's sister lived. They were talking softly. Minerva inquired something of Albus, and his answer made her gasp and sob.

Without knowing how, Lily knew that Minerva had just been informed of Lily and James' deaths. Lily started at this realization.

There was the sound of a motorbike from far overhead. _Sirius, _she thought, _of course. He is godfather, after all. He might be bringing Harry to see Petunia. To...tell her that I'm dead._

_I'm dead._

She had never been in a dream where she had been dead in the beginning before.

To her surprise, though, it was Hagrid who landed the bike, Harry tucked under his arm. Lily got closer. Dumbledore placed her son on her sister's step, saying something like—"the only family he has."

"That's not true!" Lily screamed. No one took any notice. "He has Sirius and Remus and Pet—! Sirius and Remus! He has them! Don't give my son to _them! _Don't you dare!" Lily's famous lectures were usually listened to and heeded, but no one even heard her.

When the three adults left, Lily padded up to the doorstep and looked down at her son. His sleeping face was as adorable as ever, marred only by a single mark. A lightning bolt scar right in the middle of his forehead.

As she reached out to touch his face, the scar began to glow, brighter and brighter and bigger and bigger until—

Lily awoke with a start.

* * *

><p>"I think that's the last of them, Moony," Sirius Black said to his friend, watching a zombie and a princess pad down the walkway hand in hand, swinging overloading bags of treats.<p>

Remus Lupin laughed. "You've been saying that for the past hour and a half, and they still keep showing up," he admonished.

Sirius and Remus had spent Halloween holed up in Remus' kitchen handing out Halloween candy to the Muggle children who lived in the neighborhood. The beauty of Halloween was that it was the one night a year when the two men didn't have to bother hiding their wizards' attire and items.

Sirius, for one, had lugged out his cauldron to fill with candy to hand to the kids. Remus dumped his old Hogwarts hat on a scarecrow outside, and both men were wearing robes and letting their wands sit out on the kitchen table.

Sirius ripped open a chocolate frog. (Remus had pointed out when Sirius showed up with them that they couldn't hand out magically animated candy to Muggle children, to which Sirius had responded, "Oh, well. Guess we'll have to eat them ourselves.")

"Too bad Lily and James couldn't be here this year," Remus commented. "Harry would really have liked all these costumes."

"Not to mention the candy," Sirius agreed. "Even Lily wouldn't have been able to get him to bed with all that sugar."

_Ding-dong! _Remus and Sirius heaved themselves up and walked to the door. "Trick or treat!" exclaimed a group of teenagers in various costumes. Once they had their Honeyduke's treats and were leaving, one boy looked up at Sirius and said "You guys don't look much like wizards," and started to turn away.

"Oh, yeah?" Remus asked, eyes dancing. Sirius was deliberately not looking at the boy or Remus.

"Yeah," the kid said. "You should put better effort into your costumes next year." He turned and ran to catch up with his friends.

Remus closed the door, turned around, and met Sirius' eyes. They both doubled over laughing, tears streaming from their eyes. Somehow they made it to the kitchen and sat down. Just when they began to calm down, they caught each others' eyes again and relapsed into laughter.

Suddenly, a silvery phoenix patronus materialized over the table, perching in thin air. In the quick, panicked voice of Albus Dumbledore, it said, "Remus—Voldemort has been sighted in Godric's Hollow. The Potters have been attacked. Sirius has betrayed us all. Find him, Remus. I will take care of the survivors. I only hope that Hagrid will find some."

The bird dematerialized. Sirius was on his feet before Remus. Just as Remus lunged for him, Sirius turned in place and Disapparated. He was gone. Remus sank to the floor and buried his head in his hands, all fight burned out of him as fear and horror swept him.

* * *

><p><em>The Potter's Home can be found at Number 13, Lion's Lane, Godric's Hollow, England, <em>Sirius thought hurriedly, racing through the sky on his motorcycle. While it was slower than Apparating directly to Godric's Hollow, it could get him closer to the house.

The house showed itself to him. Sirius paused, shocked, at the gate. "Dear Merlin," he whispered, staring at the wreckage of the Potters' lovely little cottage. The gate's latch was broken beyond repair, so Sirius vaulted over it and seemed to be running before he hit the ground.

He glanced above the house. _Dark Mark, _Sirius noted with a wild moment of desperation. No. James couldn't be—no. He slipped on the wet gravel, catching himself on his hands and disregarding the cuts he received.

The door was hanging open on one of its hinges. The lights in the house were still on. Sirius made it to the kitchen, dimly aware of the supper dishes still on the half-wrecked counter. "JAMES?" he shouted hoarsely. "JAMES?"

He tore through the living room. "THIS IS NOT FUNNY! JAMES! JAMES?" Sirius raced up the stairs and stopped dead in his tracks.

A lone figure lay spread-eagle on the carpet. Sirius approached with caution. James' face looked up at him with cold, sightless, horrified eyes. "JAMES!" Sirius yelled, falling to his knees and pulling his best friend's head onto his lap.

"NO!" he screamed. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP, PRONGS! PLEASE! PLEASE, JAMES!"

His voice fell to a whisper. "Please, Prongs, I can't do it without you. Lily needs you, Harry needs you, but I need you, too. Please don't be...don't be..."

Sirius waited, but James didn't move, didn't blink, didn't show Sirius his trademark trouble-making grin. Sirius sobbed and threw his arms around his best friend, holding James to his chest and burying his face in James' shirt. It still smelled like that cologne James had been wearing since fifth year and had only just grown into.

With this fresh wave of memories came a new thunder of grief. "Prongs," Sirius whispered, "I'm going to check on your wife and baby, okay? I'll be back. I'll be back, Prongs." He lowered James to the carpet and closed his hazel eyes gently. He could have been sleeping but for that unnatural paleness.

With much reluctance, Sirius padded up the hall and called, "Lily? Lily?"

He pushed open the nursery door, intending to look for Harry. He walked slowly to the crib, terrified of what he might find. Harry lay there, unnaturally still, like a puppet with cut strings.

He picked up the little boy and cradled him to his chest, closing those startlingly loving green eyes as quickly as he could. "Padfoot's here, Padfoot's got you," he murmured to the boy. "My godson. I love you. I know wherever you are, your daddy's taking care of you." He laid him back down in the crib and tucked him in snugly.

"Lily?" he called again, leaving the wreckage of the nursery. A small noise made him turn back. "Lily?" he asked hopefully. "Lily?"

A burned board shifted slightly on the other side of the room. "Sirius?" said a small voice.

"Lily!" exclaimed Sirius, bounding across the room and digging fiercely through the broken wood. He uncovered her, shaking and badly bruised, but alive, and wrapped her in a hug. "Lily...I thought...I thought..."

"That I was dead?" Lily supplied. "So did I, for a moment. Is James...?" Lily looked desperately hopeful.

Sirius looked at her sadly, at a loss for words.

"He's dead, isn't he?" Lily's lower lip was trembling, the only visible sign of weakness.

Sirius decided he had to say it. "Yes, Lil. James is...dead." _James is dead, James is dead, Prongs is dead, my best friend in the whole wide world is dead. Dead._

Lily gave a muffled scream and leapt over the junk on the floor to the hall. Sirius followed dumbly.

Lily knelt next to her husband. She took his hand in both of hers and lay down next to him with her head on his chest. She lay there like that for a few everlasting minutes. Then she sat up, leaned down and kissed James on the lips for a long moment.

She whispered something in his ear, crying now.

Sirius, feeling like he had to say something, said, "Harry..."

Lily looked up at him with a terrible anguish. "I know," she said, barely audible. "I saw it."

Sirius knelt next to her and took one of her hands. "We should go someplace warm," he said softly, indicating the nearby hole in the wall and the sky, which was threatening to rain.

Lily nodded but made no motion to get up. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and picked her up like he would a very young child. Cradling her to his chest, he walked as gently as he could away from the still form of James Potter.

"James. Harry. James. Harry. James. Harry. James," she was whispering, growing louder the farther away they got. By the time they'd reached the front door, she was screaming and sobbing. "JAMES! HARRY! JAMES! JAMES!"

A huge form was running heavily up the street. Sirius squinted. "Hagrid!" he called over Lily's grief-filled scream.

Hagrid took in the scene before him. "James 'n Harry?" he asked uncertainly. Sirius shook his head slowly. Hagrid hung his head. "Dumbledore sent me."

"Why?"

Hagrid shrugged his huge shoulders. "He reckoned Harry'd still be 'live. Wanted me ter bring him ter Surry."

"Surry?"

"Yep."

Lily had stopped screaming. "Sirius, where's Peter?" she asked hoarsely.

_Peter. _Up until this moment, Sirius had been thinking about too much to even consider the reason for it all. "Hagrid, can you take Lily to Remus' place? I...have to find someone."

"Well, sure, but are yeh sure yeh don' wanna go yerself? She could use you, I'll wager," Hagrid said.

Sirius nodded. "I'm sure. Look, you can take my bike. It'll be easier to carry her that way."

Hagrid looked incredulous. "Really? I can borrow it?"

"You can have it," Sirius said, handing over the keys and putting Lily on her feet. She swayed and Hagrid steadied her.

"Sirius?" Lily asked, gripping the front of his robes. "You aren't leaving me, are you? Please don't leave me."

Sirius melted. "Actually, Hagrid, I'll take her home myself. Peter can wait until morning."

"Guess I'll go ter Dumbledore, then," Hagrid said and turned away, taking one last look at the house, ruined and empty. He handed Sirius' keys back and disappeared.

Sirius helped Lily straddle the bike and climbed on behind her. He fitted the key into the ignition, punched the button for the cloaking device, and climbed steeply into the clouds.

* * *

><p>Sirius banged with his foot on Remus' door. Remus pulled it open with a stony look on his face. His eyes softened when he saw Lily, swaying and crying softly, on his doorstep. He understood what had happened.<p>

Without a word to Sirius, he helped her inside to the sitting room, where she sat on the sofa and buried her face in the blanket Sirius draped over her shaking figure.

This done, Remus turned to Sirius and grabbed him viciously by the collar, throwing him to the floor. Lily screamed.

"How could you have done this, Sirius?" he demanded. "How could you have killed your best friend?"

Remus was on top of him now, throwing punches into his face. Sirius tried to push him away. "Moony, shtop!" he cried over a mouthful of blood. "It washn't ne!"

"Oh, it wasn't you. Sure, I believe you," Remus said sarcastically, ramming his fist into Sirius' gut. Sirius still refused to punch back, even though he was better suited to fist fighting. "He was your best friend, Sirius! I thought you were different than your brother, but you're not! You're the worst Death Eater of your whole family! You know no loyalties! Not even to your godson! Your one year old godson! You let him die with his father! Your best friend! You heartless man! No, you're less than a man, you-don't—deserve—that-title!" The punches were flying fast now, and Remus began to call Sirius names that would have made Lily appalled if she had been listening.

Lily threw herself off the couch heavily and wrapped her arms around Remus' torso. "Stop, Remus, stop! It's my fault, not his! It's my fault Harry is dead, MINE! Stop it! Stop, Remus, I beg of you! Stop! STOP!"

Remus wrenched his arms from her grip and threw her to the side. Still punching hard, he announced, "The Aurors are on their way. You'll be in Azkaban for the rest of your miserable life! And know this, traitor, that you have no one. No one. Lily hates you, Peter hates you, your family hates you, and I...hate...you!" These last few words were accompanied by three hard kicks to the stomach. Sirius curled up on the floor and tried to protect himself from the new onslaught of attacks.

"STOP!" Lily was crying. "STOP, PLEASE! REMUS, STOP! IT WASN'T HIM! IT WASN'T! STOP!"

The terrible attacks continued. Lily sank to her knees and began to sob. Her life had come to an end. "REMUS, STOP!" she begged again, fruitlessly. Her hand came to her belly again, rubbing it soothingly and getting an idea. "I'M PREGNANT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Remus paused. Sirius took the moment's rest to crawl away to the corner of the room and collapsed. "What?" Remus asked dumbly. "What?"

"I'm two months pregnant," Lily murmured, patches of black crawling across her vision. "I'm going to faint. I never faint. Don't let him go to Azkab—" she sat down heavily. "It wasn't—" and then she fainted.

"Moony," whispered Sirius. He spat out a mouthful of blood.

Remus looked at him sharply. "What, Black?"

"It was Peter, not me. Peter was the secret keeper. We switched because...because...we thought..."

"Shut up, Black, I won't believe your lies," Remus snarled. With this, he pulled out his wand sent ropes flying at Sirius, effectively binding and gagging him. Then he picked up the crumpled figure of Lily and carried her to his bedroom, where he tucked her in and returned to the living room to wait for the Aurors.

* * *

><p>Sirius begged with Remus with his eyes. Remus was watching the proceedings coolly, a feeling of vast betrayal behind his otherwise impassive gaze.<p>

Mad-Eye Moody was standing over Sirius, announcing, "Sirius Black, you're under arrest for treason and conspiracy to commit the murders of James and Harry Potter. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defense if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you say may be given in evidence. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?"

Sirius glanced at Remus one last time before stiffly nodding.

"Let's get him out of here. See you, Lupin," Moody muttered. "I know this must be hard on you. You gave him quite the beating, eh?"

"Yeah," Remus said tonelessly. "He deserved it. He deserves this."

Moody gave his twisted smile. "Just keep telling yourself that, Lupin, and eventually you'll believe it. Always works for me."

Remus closed the door on the Aurors and sank to the floor, leaning against the door. For the first time that night he let himself cry. He buried his head in his hands and sobbed. He cried for Lily, pregnant and widowed. He cried for himself, losing two best friends in one night. He cried even for Sirius, who had strayed in a direction Remus never would have believed of him.

* * *

><p>Lily dreamed again.<p>

This time it was light outside. The sun had just risen, and the fresh smell of an early fall morning was in the air. The door of number 4, Privet Drive was opening quickly. "You're going to be late for the office, Vernon!" Petunia was caterwauling back into the house.

She turned around and almost dumped a set of milk bottles on the precious bundle residing on her front step. With a gasp, she dropped them, and they shattered on the walk. Harry woke up at the crash and began to wail. Lily wanted badly to run to him and cuddle him.

Petunia closed the door sharply. Lily was appalled. Petunia was just going to leave her nephew on the front step? The door opened again and Vernon poked his head out. He pushed the door open wider and began to speak in hushed tones to Petunia, shaking his head.

Petunia leaned down and picked up the letter resting on Harry's chest. She opened it and read it quickly, before scooping up Harry unceremoniously and firmly nodding to Vernon. She pushed him out the door, kissed him lightly, and closed the door.

As Vernon opened his car door to go to work, the light on the street began to fade. Lily squinted to keep watching, but the sky was getting dimmer and dimmer like the lights at the end of a play.

Lily slept on dreamlessly.

* * *

><p>Remus was sipping his tea shakily when Lily stepped out of Remus' room, wrapped up in his dressing gown and tottering to the table.<p>

"Morning," he greeted past the thick lump in his throat. He didn't bother adding 'good' to that statement. Grief had erased that word from his vocabulary, and the pouring rain didn't help much, either.

Lily didn't answer, instead pouring herself a cup of tea and reaching for the milk. "Moony?" she asked in a strange voice.

"What is it?" Remus asked absently, trying to distract himself with the morning paper. No such luck. The news of the Potters' deaths was blasted all over the front page.

"Your milk's out of date," Lily answered, peering at the smelly mess inside the carton.

Remus stared at her. "_That's _what you're thinking about?" he demanded incredulously. "Today of all days?"

"What else is there to think about?" Lily defended. "Besides..." The moment that thought drifted across her mind, Lily burst into tears.

"Oh, Merlin," Remus said. "I'm so stupid." He pushed himself up from the table and wrapped his arms around Lily, tears leaking from his own eyes. He wiped them away hurriedly. "It's okay, Lily," he murmured, rubbing her back, "we'll get through this, somehow."

Lily nodded against his shoulder. "Together. We'll get through this together. Where's Sirius?"

"It's okay, Lily, they got him. The Aurors came for him last night. He'll be in Azkaban by now," Remus assured her.

Lily recoiled from his embrace. "No!" she shouted. "No, Remus, you have to be lying! He can't! I told you not to let him go!"

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked, confused.

Lily was aghast. "He's innocent, Remus! We switched Secret Keepers. Peter betrayed us, not Sirius! We have to get him out of there!"

Remus looked bewildered. "But...but why? Why did you switch?"

Lily's face lost its panic and assumed a decidedly guilty look. She looked up into his blue eyes with sadness and a bit of fear.

"You thought it was me." It was a statement, not a question. "You thought I would betray you to Voldemort. You thought I was a double agent. You thought it was me."

Lily was crying again. "I'm so sorry, Remus! I am!"

"It's okay, Lily," Remus soothed, hugging her again but still feeling shocked. "I forgive you. The important thing now is that we free him. Fast."

Lily nodded. "But how?" she mused, pulling away from his hug and sitting down at the table.

They sat in silence. "There are two ways to do this," Remus finally said. "Legally..."

"Which could take months or years in the middle of a war," Lily interrupted.

Remus acknowledged this with a tip of his head. "...or, well...extra-legally," he finished.

"You mean break him out? Of Azkaban?" Lily asked shakily.

Remus looked nervous, too. "Let's save that as a last resort," he said firmly.

Lily nodded dumbly.

Silence reigned again for a while. Then, Lily stepped in with, "I'll go talk to whoever's in charge of Sirius's case." She stood and headed for the door.

"Lily, wait!" Remus called, realizing something with a start.

Lily stopped with her hand on the door. "What?"

"Peter's not stupid," Remus reminded her. "He's going to suspect us of doing exactly what we are doing. That makes you a target."

Lily's hand dropped to her side and she gazed open-mouthed at Remus, realizing his point. "You don't think I should leave the house until he's caught," she accused. "That's ridiculous."

She would have gone on, but Remus stopped her. "No, no, I just don't think you should go looking quite so..."

"'So' what?" Lily demanded impatiently.

"Well, for one thing, you're wearing half-burnt up clothes under an old dressing gown," Remus pointed out.

Lily glanced down at herself. "I suppose you're right," she said glumly. "Do you have anything I can borrow?"

* * *

><p>Lily swept out of one of the Ministry fireplaces wearing a pair of Remus' old robes. They hung loosely and were cinched closed with a belt. She approached the visitor's desk.<p>

"Lily Potter?" asked the receptionist excitedly. "You're alive! The whole world thinks you're missing. Did Sirius Black kidnap you? Who saved you? What—"

"I'm here to see..." Lily checked the slip of parchment in her hand, "Bartemius Crouch." She completely ignored all the questions and the gathering crowd. The receptionist handed her a name tag and waved her toward the lifts.

Upon exiting the lifts, cameras were flashing in her face. Reporters were waving note pads in her face. She pushed through the crowd, murmuring "No comment, no comment," every few seconds. She knocked hurriedly on the door labeled 'Crouch,' and entered without waiting for a response.

Barty glanced up from his desk and looked her up and down with his eyebrows raised. "Come in, Ms. Potter," he said dryly.

"I was being hounded by reporters," Lily responded in explanation. Then she sat down across the desk from him. "Sirius Black," she said simply.

"No need to worry, Ms. Potter, he is locked up in a high security cell in Azkaban as we speak. Constant supervision by dementors. He is paying for the death of your husband and child."

Lily took an involuntary breath at the idea of her friend in the constant presence of soul-sucking monsters. "No, no, Mr. Crouch," she protested. "He's innocent. I swear. We switched Secret Keepers. It's Peter Pettigrew you want."

"Yes," Mr. Crouch said calmly. "That's another thing to add to the charges: the kidnap and Confunding of Lily Potter." He made a note on a slip of paper on his desk.

"I'm not Confunded!" Lily screeched, outraged. "I'm the only sane one here! Sirius doesn't even get a trial?"

Crouch up at her. "We are in the middle of a war, Ms. Potter," he said, patronizingly slowly. "We cannot afford to give every blatantly guilty defendant a fair trial. Black is guilty. If I were you, I would see a Healer about that curse he set on you. Good day."

Lily was outraged. "How dare you speak to me that way? I just lost the love of my life and my only child and you say 'good day?' No! I insist you bring Sirius Black back to the mainland immediately!"

"Ms. Potter, I am a busy man. Voldemort is stronger than ever and I am trying to save every Knut for the war effort. I have mounds of paperwork to go over. If you continue to refuse to leave, I will call security."

Lily stood stubbornly.

"As you wish," Mr. Crouch sighed. He raised his voice. "Raj, get this woman out of here. See to it she doesn't speak to the press. Thanks."

A burly looking security guard entered momentarily. He took Lily's arm and pulled her as gently as he could toward the door. Lily was glaring daggers at Crouch, but he took no notice.

The guard escorted her up the lift and to the floo. "Remus Lupin's residence," Lily announced, stepping dejectedly into the fireplace.

* * *

><p>Remus looked up from his book when the flames of his fireplace turned green. "How did it go?" he asked, getting up to take her cloak and help her sit down.<p>

"We're breaking him out," Lily announced grimly.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Welcome to the story! Read on!_


	2. Escape from Azkaban

Chapter 2. Escape from Azkaban

Sirius hugged his knees tightly to his chest in the corner of his cell.

_He was nine years old, his mother was screaming at him and striking him hard across the face._

_He was sixteen, and he had the fight with his parents that caused him to run from the house and never return._

_He was twenty-one, and James' cold hazel eyes stared up at him sightlessly. _Grief filled Sirius' heart over and over as he was forced to re-watch the most horrible moments of his life. He had seen his dead best friend and godson more times than he could count.

His cell door opened. A dementor thrust a crust of bread at him and retreated, leaving Sirius chilled to the bone from the freezing mist it brought with it.

Sirius put the crust of bread to his mouth. It had a putrid smell that even his rabid hunger could not bring him to eat. He dropped it and transformed into Padfoot.

Letting dog instincts take over, he wolfed down the bread hungrily. The dog was quite happy with the smell and taste. Padfoot settled down. As a dog he felt somehow safer, saner. The dementors couldn't penetrate the less advanced emotions of a dog.

Less advanced they may be, but dog form or no, Sirius quivered as grief wracked him.

* * *

><p>Remus and Lily poured over the many papers spread out over Remus' kitchen table. "But the whole plan resides on Crouch's respect for you, and let's face it, he really doesn't have any sort of high opinion of you," Remus pointed out.<p>

"I'll convince him somehow," Lily said determinedly.

Remus gave her a disbelieving look. "How?" he demanded.

Lily gave him a lofty, icy glare. Remus froze. _Nope, she hasn't lost that stare_ _since the last time she caught us Marauders out and about after hours, _he thought miserably. A pang of grief coursed through him as he remembered how James had cut off her lecture easily with a long kiss.

"I concede," he allowed graciously. "When should we put our plan to action?"

Lily got to her feet. "How's today for you?"

"Today?" Remus asked in disbelief.

"What?" Lily asked innocently. "Have other plans?"

Remus was dumbfounded. "No, but—"

"We've been planning for two weeks, Moony, that's certainly long enough for Padfoot to endure Azkaban," Lily chided. "We've got to do this now!"

"Are you sure you're ready?" Remus asked her. "Most of the plan depends on you, you know. I'm mostly for emergency use."

Lily looked at him steadily. "If I wait any longer, I won't be," she answered.

* * *

><p>Lily swept into the Ministry of Magic once again. She shook the soot from her new cloak and padded lightly to the visitor's desk and accepted her name tag wordlessly. She spoke to no one on the lifts or in the halls. She reached Crouch's door and knocked sharply.<p>

"Who is it?" Crouch called through the wood.

Lily raised her chin, composing herself before answering, "Lily Potter," in a clear voice.

There was a rustle and the door opened suddenly. Crouch looked at her with tired eyes. "Come in, Ms. Potter, and sit down."

Lily allowed him to pull back a chair for her and sat gracefully. "I am here to speak to you about a matter of some delicacy," she said, meeting his eyes evenly.

"Go on," Crouch murmured, setting down his papers and looking at her.

"With the Confundus charm removed, I still have a hard time thinking of Sirius Black, my husband's best friend, as a traitor and murderer," Lily said with ever so slight a dramatic hitch at the end of this phrase.

Crouch nodded solemnly. "Understandable. What would you have me do?"

"I want to look into the eyes of the man who caused the death of my husband and son," Lily responded, pleading with her eyes.

Bowing his head, Crouch answered her, "Ms. Potter, we simply do not have the security, nor do I have the time to organize such a venture—"

"Please, Mr. Crouch, I know you are busy, but the rest of my life depends on this moment. Don't make this decision lightly, I beg of you."

Their eyes met for a full minute, Crouch's searching and Lily's pleading. "Very well," Crouch responded. "But I cannot be responsible if you are injured or killed on this mission."

"I understand. Thank you, Mr. Crouch, you've no idea what this means to me," Lily said, smothering her voice with false gratitude. It was perhaps even a touch too much, but Crouch was vain enough not to notice.

"I shall arrange for a boat to take you out to Azkaban Rock immediately," Crouch said. "A car will meet you at the visitor's entrance to take you to the boat."

Lily got to her feet, still thanking him profusely, and swept from the room.

* * *

><p>Lily pulled her cloak around her tightly, wishing she'd thought to wear something warmer on this cold November morning. She bowed her head, both to stop her hood from blowing back for the thousandth time and to avoid conversation with the guards who'd been eyeing her hungrily from the moment she'd stepped onto the tiny water vessel.<p>

What seemed like a long time later the boat jerked to a stop. "Mi'lady," said one of the guards. "This'll be as far as the boat'll take us."

Lily glanced outside the boat. The water was still waist deep, but the boat had come to a sudden, magical stop. Security purposes, Lily presumed. "Then how do we get to the island without getting soaked?"

"We don't," the other guard said, smiling his disgusting smile. He leapt out of the boat and offered his dirty hand to Lily.

Ignoring it, Lily clambered out as gracefully as she could. She gasped in pain. The water must have been well below freezing. All airs of high-class grace forgotten, Lily charged toward shore like a rabid hippogriff.

Once safely on the slippery rock, Lily pulled out her wand to warm and dry herself. One of the guards stopped her. "No magic allowed on this here island, mi'lady," he reminded her. "Sets the dementors running toward the source, and we don't want that, do we?"

Lily shook her head, grimacing, and pulling her sopping cloak even tighter to her shaking body. "Right," she muttered, "let's get on with it."

"You can always turn back, mi'lady."

Lily glared at the guard in question. "I've come this far, haven't I?"

"Yes'm, so you 'ave," he responded. "Let's get on, shall we?"

Lily followed them through the maze of tunnels. They passed cells and cells of men and women. Lily tried not to look at their gaunt faces, pressed up against the bars or simply staring into space, whimpering. Lily could already feel the chill of the dementors filling her body.

She steeled herself for what was to come.

Entering the high-security area was like a blow to the head for Lily. Darkness swirled in front of her eyes, and she again heard the voice of her beloved husband, voice filled with pain and terror, begging her to save herself and run. Harry's angelic little face stared at her again in the moment before his death, so filled with love and trust that Lily could bear to watch no longer.

She conjured up the memory of her engagement to James and pulled out her wand before either guard could stop her. "_Expecto Patronum_!" she exclaimed. A life-like silvery doe leapt from her wand and charged the dementors. Once Lily had a hold on herself, it returned to her side and walked beside her.

Dementors swarmed the area, circling her, but if any came too close, the doe herded them back out.

"You shouldn't 'ave done that, now, mi'lady," one of her guards said. "They'll fall on you the moment that doe disappears."

Lily looked at him patronizingly. "Then she won't disappear," she retorted.

"Still shouldn't 'ave, mi'lady."

"Do you have a wife? Children?" Lily demanded sharply.

The guard nodded. "Tha' I do."

"Imagine watching them die over and over before your eyes, and then try to understand why I conjured something to stop me from seeing _my_ husband and child die," Lily said savagely, firmly quelling the grief that threatened to swamp her.

Both guards bowed their heads and didn't say anything else about her illegal use of magic.

"We're here, mi'lady," muttered one guard after a fashion. He slid back a number of bolts and pulled open the door. "Make it quick, mi'lady, I'm thinkin' we'd all like ta get outa here."

Lily stepped into the cell. Sirius was curled up in the corner of his cell in a position that might have been comfortable for a dog, but not for a human. He was asleep. Lily kicked him in the shin just hard enough to make it look vicious.

Sirius started awake. His eyes widened when he saw who stood above him. "Lily...?" he murmured wonderingly.

"Black," Lily greeted curtly. "Feeling pretty good, you useless—?" Lily inserted a name that she ordinarily would have chided Sirius for using.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Sirius asked, confused. Was he hallucinating? The Lily he knew was aware he was innocent.

"What's wrong? What's _wrong? _James and Harry are dead! And it's your fault!" Lily continued to rant and rave, but Sirius wasn't looking at her face. He was watching her feet.

One foot had emerged from the hem of her robes and was tapping definitively on the stone floor. To a casual observer, it might have looked like she was tapping it impatiently or angrily. Sirius, however, tipped his head and watched. _Dot, dot, dash, _he thought automatically. Then it clicked. _Morse code! But how..._ Sirius' thoughts drifted back to school, when James had been lamenting over their most recent detention. They had all been in the same room, but unable to communicate.

It was then that Remus had brought up his dad's experience in the Royal Navy, and he had jokingly suggested that the four should learn Morse Code. James and Sirius had exchanged a significant look, and by the next week, all of the Marauders could convey a simple message easily.

But how could Lily know about it? Perhaps James had taught her, or, more likely, Remus helped her memorize what she needed to say.

Sirius paid sharper attention as she tapped out, _Repeat. _He focused on her feet, abandoning all thought of how this was possible. _I'm going to get you out of this. Get ready to transform. _Sirius nodded slightly and met her eyes to tell her he'd gotten her message.

Lily was very sneakily pulling out her wand. She tapped a short message over and over. _Wait._ Sirius watched apprehensively, tensing and preparing to transform.

Lily tapped out two dashes, a dot, and three more dashes. _Go! _Before she even finished, she muttered, "Geminio Humanus." Sirius shrank to dog size and padded to the corner. He glanced back at Lily, and found her still lecturing him. Or, rather, an image of him. The pseudo-Sirius was staring at Lily with glazed-over eyes, blinking every few seconds and shuffling around a bit on the floor. The guards, lazily leaning against the gate, hadn't noticed a thing. It was quite a beautiful piece of magic.

Suddenly, Lily stopped lecturing and looked straight at Padfoot. "Awww," she muttered fondly. How did you get in here?"

The guards looked around. They started at the sight of Padfoot. "I'd leave it alone, mi'lady," one of them said.

"Surely the _dog_ has committed no crime," Lily said condescendingly. "I think I'll take him home with me. My home is quite lonely nowadays. Come on, puppy," she said in a sickly sweet tone. "Come with me."

Sirius raced over to her and buried his head in the skirt of her robes, panting happily. Being so near to her patronus allowed him protection from the dementors, as well as the comfort of a friend's hands stroking his ears.

"I'm finished here," Lily said with finality. "Let's go back."

One guard looked fully ready to go, but the other, always difficult, said, "I dunno 'bout the dog, mi'lady."

Lily pulled two pouches of gold from her pocket and tossed one to each guard. "Will that suffice?"

They peered inside, widened their eyes, and slipped the pouches into their pockets, leading Lily away, toward the boat.

As they were pulling away from Azkaban Rock, the bells suddenly began to sound the alarm. "A prisoner has escaped!" exclaimed one guard, ending the magic that kept the boat in motion.

"Why must we stop?" Lily demanded. "There's no prisoner here. Move on."

"I'm sorry, mi'lady, but we must perform the screening spells on the boat, you, and your dog," the other guard told her.

Lily nodded curtly and waited apprehensively while they screened the boat. Then she sat through the spells herself, noting fearfully that one of them included an anti-transfiguration spell.

_Try to resist, _Lily tapped out, appearing to drum her fingers impatiently on the side of the boat. _Shake your head if you can't hold out._

The guards moved on to Sirius. He was tensed, trying to prepare himself to resist their magic. He lasted a full two minutes, longer than Lily was sure she would have held out. He shook with effort. Then he firmly shook his head.

"Jump!" Lily screamed. She and Sirius pitched themselves out of the boat, ducking below the murky water. Lily kicked hard against the boat, causing it to tip its occupants to the water below.

Lily and Sirius swam as fast as they could away from the boat, angling toward mainland. Lily could hear the panicked cries of the two guards as they tried to turn the boat over and get back in. The water was freezing. Lily found herself slowing, feeling sluggish and tired.

_I could just sleep for a little while, _she found herself thinking. _Just close my eyes for a moment or two..._

Sirius looked around for Lily. She was falling back fast. He wheeled in the water and swam back toward her. He was more resistant to the cold water because his fur coat was keeping him warm and he was two legs up on Lily. He nipped her hard on her wrist. Lily snapped awake. Lily reached out and stroked his head shakily in thanks.

Lily's teeth were chattering hard, so it was difficult to understand what she was trying to say to Sirius. "Swim, P-P-P-Padfoot. D-d-don't worry 'bout me. G-go!" Lily reached up and unfastened her heavy cloak with fumbling fingers, trying to tread water at the same time.

Sirius shook his head hard. He slipped under her arm and guided her hand to the scruff of his neck, which she gripped weakly, swimming with his aid.

With her left hand occupied holding on to Sirius, Lily pulled out her wand, trying not to drop it. She cast a Patronus as best she could. She was warmed for a moment, but then she sent it away to Remus. She had not been able to send a spoken message with it, but the doe's wide eyes and frothing mouth ought to speak for itself.

Sirius was faltering ever so slightly. Lily could tell he was as tired and cold as she was. _Oh, hurry, Moony, _Lily sent out with her mind. _I don't know how long we can go on._

* * *

><p>Remus sat on the rocky beach, sipping his tea. He assumed that everything was going as planned, as Lily hadn't sent a Patronus to state otherwise. Lily and Sirius would arrive at the dock a few miles off, Lily would dismiss her guards, and Remus would be waiting with glamour charms for the both of them.<p>

They would return to Remus' house, Lily posing as Remus' girlfriend, Elizabeth, and Sirius the beloved family pet. Remus had a glamour that would turn him from his black state to a yellow lab, just to be on the safe side.

Then, their lives would begin, Lily's child would be born, and the world would seem the closest to fair it was ever going to get...

Remus settled back into his daydreams, one hand resting on the broom he'd brought, just in case, of course. After a time, he became vaguely aware of a small silver dot on the sea growing larger and larger.

Alert now, Remus rose to his feet and pulled out his wand. The silver figure was rapidly gaining shape. A doe. Remus grabbed his broom. The doe pulled up, eyes wide with terror, fear flitting along every line of its body.

Remus waited with bated breath for it to speak, and when it didn't, Remus realized what this was. A last, pleading cry for help in a moment of desperation.

"Can you take me to her?" he demanded of the doe, which calmed visibly and whirled on its heel. Remus mounted his broom and sped after her along the water. The doe didn't slow until it suddenly stopped, glowing sharply before fading to nothing.

Remus raced over to that spot. His heart nearly stopped when he saw Lily slumped over Sirius, who was struggling to remain afloat. Remus could tell that he wouldn't be for long. _No matter. _

Remus slowed and sank toward the vicious waves. He reached down and pulled Lily off Sirius, heaving her onto the front of the broom. Sirius transformed and yelled at his sudden change in resistance to the freezing water. Remus offered him a hand onto the broom.

Soon all three of them were on the broom, which was going slowly and at a low altitude. Remus pointed the broom toward land, praying the Aurors wouldn't be there to meet them when they reached land.

No such luck. Shore was not yet in sight when a magically magnified voice shouted, "Discard your wands into the water and slow down!"

Sirius glanced back. "There are five Aurors, all on brooms, going _much _faster than we are," he informed Remus hurriedly.

Remus leaned forward as much as he could over the unconscious Lily and urged the broom to go faster. The old broom shuddered, but sped up.

They could just see land over the horizon. Sirius glanced back again. "They're gaining on us!" he yelled to Remus.

Remus tried to urge the broom out even faster, but simply could not.

Sirius turned again to see what was going on. The Aurors were gaining altitude quickly. "From the skies, Moony!" Sirius called.

Remus immediately pulled up, and the broom began to gain height, gradually, painfully slowly. Land was growing larger. Remus could make out a sparse treeline.

The broom leveled out suddenly. Remus sent it back up as quickly as he could. "Faster, Moony!" cried Sirius upon checking the status of the Aurors.

"I can't!" Remus exclaimed in desperation. He shoved at the broom, getting a minimally faster speed for his efforts.

Without any warning, the broom was shaking, losing both altitude and speed. Then it was dropping like a rock to the freezing water and vicious undercurrent below.

They crashed hard on the waves. Remus grabbed the back of Lily's robes to keep her from sinking, but the shock of the fall had woken her. She was struggling toward the surface. Remus pulled out his wand and cast the Bubble-Head Charm on her, then on himself, reveling in the clean supply of oxygen.

He looked wildly around for Sirius, who was nowhere to be seen in the murky water. A feeble touch on his calf made him look down. A pale hand was falling, falling, deeper and deeper into the lightless depths of the ocean. Remus hit Lily on the shoulder to get her attention.

Lily looked at him in a panic. Remus pointed down, mouthing '_Sirius' _ as he did. Lily nodded and dove with him. The two felt around for Sirius, and just when they thought he was lost to them forever, Remus' hand closed around flesh. He saw Lily get a hold on Sirius' robes and together they pulled upward to a slightly lighter area of the ocean.

Remus supposed the light would be coming from the sun, which was sure to be all the way up by now, but he found it hard to imagine a world where light and warmth was spilled everywhere. _Never mind that now, _he chided himself.

He turned to Sirius and quickly cast a charm so he could breathe. Sirius' eyes flew open and he coughed, gasping.

Remus, still holding Sirius' arm with his left hand, pulled out his wand and thought, _Point Me, _as hard as he could at it. For one heart stopping moment, Remus thought the wand wouldn't give him direction, but soon the wand spun in his hand and pointed the opposite direction Remus had thought north was.

He pulled Sirius and Lily south, towards shore. They swam with him, feeble but alive.

Just when Remus thought he could swim not one more stroke, his foot scraped mud. Scrabbling for footing, he planted his feet firmly on the water bed. Sirius and Lily had likewise discovered their ability to stand, and the three of them charged from the water.

Lily found a patch of sparse trees along the shoreline and dragged the two men into them. In a tired, husky voice, Lily whispered, "Where's your car, Remus?"

Remus looked around, trying to get his bearings, but all the rocky beach looked just the same to him. "I don't know," Remus said. "Give me a second."

"I don't think we _have _a second," Lily said, still breathless from the long swim. "The Aurors were right behind us back there."

Remus paused, looking up and down the beach, trying to think. "I think..." he paused, then pointed. "I think it's in that one," he said, indicating mid-sized tuft of trees about ninety meters up the beach.

As they watched, Aurors swooped in on their brooms, joining an already heavy presence of magical law enforcement. The Aurors swarmed around the tuft of trees. There could be no doubt that they had found Remus' car concealed within.

"We aren't going back there," Remus said firmly. Lily and Sirius nodded solemnly.

"What about the glamour charms?" Lily asked, fear clearly in her face. "They took over three days to make." She was speaking in reference to the glamours that Remus had made to hide Lily's and Sirius' faces from the world, hidden in plain sight. Normally, glamour charms had to be applied manually by wand each time the disguise was necessary, but Remus had rigged them so that the spells were associated with a household object, that, like a Portkey, activated when it was touched or worn.

Remus reached into his robe pocket and pulled out a small leather pouch. "I kept them on me," he responded, pulling the drawstring to open the bag. He pulled out a silver locket and handed it to Lily. It was plain enough for everyday wear, but fancy enough to wear to minimally elegant occasions.

Lily strapped the thin chain around her neck, letting the locket rest on her sternum. Her figure shimmered. Both men had to blink, and when their eyes returned to Lily, she wasn't Lily anymore.

"Meet Elizabeth Avens," Lily said to Sirius, flipping her long blonde curls behind her shoulder. Her features were altered slightly as well. Sirius could still find traces of Lily's original face beneath the glamour, but it was probably just that he knew her so well. And he knew it was a glamour, of course.

Remus pulled out a thin black dog collar and held it up for Sirius' approval. Sirius shrank to dog form. Remus strapped it on gently and it was Padfoot's turn to shimmer until the two observers looked away for a moment. When they looked back he was a beautiful yellow lab. Sirius sat and proceeded to scratch at the collar, whining a bit.

Remus chided him. "Padfoot! Don't try to get it off!"

The dog hung his head in apology.

"Is that what we're going to call him? Padfoot?" Lily asked. "So many people know him as that."

Remus nodded. "A startling coincidence discovered only after we were dating. He is your dog, after all."

Lily giggled, saying, "Then how are we going to explain that he listens only to you?"

Sirius panted happily, padding over to Lily and sitting at her feet. He licked her hand. "I think he'll listen to you in public," Remus laughed.

The three friends lingered no longer. They headed away from the beach, Lily and Remus hand in hand and Sirius trotting next to Lily's heel.

* * *

><p>Remus, Sirius, and Lily stopped at a Muggle department store to buy Lily some empty luggage, to replace that which had been ready in the truck.<p>

Lily went inside while Remus waited with Sirius at the store front. The two best friends watched amusedly as policemen swarmed the streets, handing out Muggle photos of Sirius. One policeman paused next to Remus.

"No loitering," he said, pointing to the sign on the store wall.

Remus smiled. "I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

The policeman looked him up and down. "Right. Well, you need your dog on a leash, at least. It's a law."

"I don't have one with me right now. We, er...we lost it in the water. We just got back from the beach," Remus said as convincingly as he could.

"Did you now?" asked the policeman, perking up. "You wouldn't have happened to see this man on the coast?" He proffered a picture of Sirius, shoving it under Remus' nose.

Remus leaned back slightly. "No, I don't think so. What's he wanted for?"

"Murder," answered the policeman impatiently. "He would have been coming from the water, or been wet..."

Remus shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't help you."

Looking a tad disappointed, the policeman thanked him in a monotone and walked away.

Remus watched him go for a few moments before looking down at Sirius and asking, "They don't really think you'll be going around in your real face, do they?"

Sirius gave his snuffley dog laugh.

"What's up?" Lily asked, walking up in new Muggle clothes and pulling a suitcase behind her. Remus took the bag that swung from her hand and kissed her on the cheek.

"Nothing, Lizzie. A policeman wanted to know if we'd seen an escaped convict on the beach."

Lily feigned surprise. "Oh, my! An escaped convict?"

"You're not a very good actress, my dear," Remus muttered.

Lily made a face at him. "Let's go home," she said instead of retorting.

* * *

><p>Lily turned out to be a very good actress indeed. She made quite a show of herself moving in to Remus' house. She tossed suitcases at Remus and shouted at Padfoot, who was running around crazily, licking everybody's hands and twining himself around Lily's feet.<p>

Lily made cookies and introduced herself to the neighbors, fully cementing herself in everyone's brain as Remus' girlfriend, conveniently pregnant, who was now living on the street.

Remus looked up when Lily came stumbling through the front door. "That the last of them?" he asked.

"Yes," Lily responded, snatching a cookie from the counter and flopped down on the couch next to Remus. "Are the wards up yet?"

"Uh-huh," answered Sirius, entering from Remus' bedroom wearing a set of Remus' robes, which were ridiculously small for him. "Moony and I put them up a while ago."

"Don't you think those are a little small?" Lily said, covering her mouth with her hand to quell her laughter at Sirius's attire.

Sirius looked down at himself. The robes didn't reach the ground—not by a long shot. They clung uncomfortably to his muscular figure. "Yeah," he allowed. "Care to do something about that?"

Lily pulled out her wand and muttered, "_Engorgio_," softly. Sirius felt the robes inflate a bit and resettle, now the right size.

"Thanks," he said, sitting down and ripping off some of Lily's cookie. He popped it in his mouth before Lily could get it back. Lily stuck out her tongue at him.

It was almost...happy. "How can you be so strong—both of you?" Remus said suddenly.

Sirius gawked. "Me?" he demanded in disbelief. "I'm not strong. I'm in shock. It won't be long before I break down."

"And you obviously sleep well, Remus," Lily added, tears gathering in her eyes, "because I cry to myself every night before I fall asleep. _You're _the strong one." She put her arm around his shoulders.

Sirius stood up. "Well, I for one am going to bed before this gets any more sentimental. Night Lil, Moony."

Variations on 'good night' came from the two. Sirius retreated up the stairs to his small cot that had been set up in the attic.

Patting Remus' back, Lily got up and bade Remus good night, retiring to her own room. Remus followed her down the hall to his bedroom.

* * *

><p>Lily swayed across her room, humming softly to herself, rubbing the slight bulge on her belly.<p>

_Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,_

_All through the night,_

_Guardian angels Dad will send thee,_

_All through the night._

_Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,_

_Hill and dale in slumber sleeping,_

_I my loved one's watch am keeping,_

_All through the night._

Lily let her voice fade to nothing as she closed her eyes. A single tear lingered on her cheek, sparkling in the moonlight.

* * *

><p>A terrified scream wracked the stillness of the early morning. Lily jolted awake and threw herself out of bed.<p>

"NO!" someone above her was screaming. "DON'T TAKE ME BACK THERE!"

Lily grabbed her wand off the nightstand and raced out into the hall. Remus was already running for the stairs, wand lit in his hand.

Together they burst up into the attic through the trapdoor.

"PLEASE! DON'T! I'M INNOCENT! NO, I SWEAR!"

Lily ran behind the screen, Remus right on her heels. "Sirius!" she cried over his screams. "Sirius, wake up!"

She flew to the bed and shook his shoulder, hard. "Wake up!" She slapped him hard across the face. Sirius' eyes flew open and with a terrible strength he flung Lily across the room in a moment of panic.

Remus grabbed his arms and pinned him to the bed. "Sirius!" he shouted.

Sirius relaxed a bit and Remus released him. "They were trying to take me back there, Moony," he whispered.

"I know," Remus answered calmly.

Lily got to her feet, shaking a bit, and approached cautiously.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm sorry, Lily," Sirius sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

Lily sat next to him on the bed and wrapped her arms around him. "Shhhhhh," she whispered. "It'll be all right. You'll see. It'll be all right." Sirius gripped her tightly, desperately, even.

Remus sat down as well and placed his hand on Sirius' leg. "We'll never let them take you back there," he said. "Not ever."

"Marauder's honor?" asked Sirius, his face harrowed.

Remus held up his right fist. "Marauder's honor."

Sirius settled to his pillow, starting to breathe normally. "Thank you. You can go now, if you want."

"I'll stay for a while," Lily said, getting comfortable, drawing her legs up onto the mattress.

Remus settled into the comfortable old armchair he'd only moved up here because it didn't match the new things. A cloud of dust swirled into his face and he sneezed.

"Bless you," said Lily automatically, then glanced over at him and dematerialized into a fit of giggles. "You look like you were hit by a snowstorm!" she made out.

Remus pulled out his wand and demurely Scourgified himself. By this time, Sirius was laughing, too, and sleeping was out of the question.

"I'll make cocoa," Lily said, still chuckling. "You boys can come if you wish."

"Boys?" demanded Sirius. "My dear lady, we are _men._"

Remus laughed. "Well, at least _I _am," he said.

Lily looked at both of them appraisingly. "Perhaps in fifty years," she said, padding down the stairs in her bare feet.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other, shrugged, and got up to follow her.

* * *

><p>Remus awoke to sounds of distress from the bathroom between Lily's room and his. He glanced at the clock. It was nearly one, but they had gotten to bed only about five, so it was understandable.<p>

Remus got up and pulled on his dressing gown. He walked out into the hall and pushed on the slightly open door to reveal Lily hunched over the toilet, breathing heavily.

"Morning sickness, eh?" he asked with a smile. "Do you need anything?"

Lily turned to him. "Get OUT!" she rasped. Then she hunched back over the toilet and retched. Remus withdrew, closing the door softly.

Sirius was coming down the stairs, barefooted and dressing gown hanging open over his pajamas. "What'd you do?" he asked Remus.

"Good morning," Remus greeted. "Or afternoon, really."

Sirius opened the bathroom door. "Lily, are you oka—"

"GET OUT!"

Sirius slammed the door and looked at Remus with wide eyes. "Is she okay?"

"Morning sickness," Remus said lightly. "Tea?"

* * *

><p>"Doesn't anyone in this house know how to knock?" Lily grumbled, entering the kitchen.<p>

Remus handed her a cup of tea. "No. Occupational hazard of living with Marauders."

"Lovely," Lily said dryly.

Sirius looked up from the comics. "Ooh, sarcasm. She _is _in a bad mood."

Lily grabbed the paper from the middle of the table, where it had been sitting upside down. She shook it open to the first page. With a scream, her mug fell to the floor and shattered.

"What is it?" demanded Remus, snatching the paper from her hand.

**LONGBOTTOMS MURDERED IN THEIR HOME**

**Alice and Frank Longbottom Dead, One-Year-Old As Yet Unaccounted For**

Remus scanned the article, then chucked it across the table at Sirius, who had his hand on Lily's shoulder, trying to comfort her. He read it.

"It says they think it was Voldemort himself," Sirius mentioned, setting the paper down with a sick feeling in his stomach. "I just can't believe it. Alice and Frank..."

"I think it comes as a shock to all of us," Remus said, shakily pouring Lily another cup of tea and pushing it toward her.

Lily sat dumbly in her chair, staring into the distance. "She was my best friend," she said, barely audible.

"Oh, Lily, I know. I know," Remus whispered, getting up and putting his arm around her shaking shoulders. "The faster this war is over, the better."

"Hear, hear," Sirius agreed. He lifted his mug above his head. "To the bravest and kindest of people: may they rest in peace."

Remus lifted his mug and sipped in silence. Lily bowed her head, tears pouring down her face.

So many dead, in so little time.

* * *

><p>Lily ferociously scrubbed at the sparkling kitchen counter. The rich aroma of chocolate chip cookies filled the air. Remus sidled into the kitchen. He wandered over to the cookie tray, saying, "I think the counter is clean, Lil."<p>

He reached for a cookie. Lily smacked his hand away. "Those are still hot," she snapped.

"Lily, are you going to be okay?" Remus asked quietly.

Lily bowed her head and resumed cleaning the kitchen's surfaces. "Probably not," she whispered. Remus put his arms around her from the back and hugged her tightly. Lily fought back tears. "Thank you, Remus."

Lily could feel Remus' smile against her shoulder. She leaned into him. "Why are you shaking?" she asked softly.

Remus released her. "Just feeling a bit under the weather," he said. His eyes had huge half-circles under them and his skin looked almost yellowish.

Lily's face softened. "Go lie down. I'll bring you some soup." Remus nodded and disappeared. Lily looked after him for a moment before turning to the cabinets and rifling through them for soup.

Lily discovered the canned soup in the first cabinet on the right, farthest away from the window. She reached in. As she did, her arm brushed up against the calendar hanging inside. It rustled and slipped to the floor. Lily placed a hand on her protruding belly and leaned over to get it. As she hung it back up, her eyes swept across today's date.

It was circled in red ink. Lily frowned, looking for a corresponding note, perhaps 'mother's b-day' or 'bills due.' But there was nothing. Lily flipped to the previous month. She tipped her head in confusion. There was another day circled in a similar manner.

Lily carried the calendar out to the living room, where Remus was flopped on the couch. "Remus?" she asked. His eyes drifted open.

"Yes?" he responded, voice cracking when he saw the calendar.

Lily held it up and gestured to the red circle. "What's this for?"

Remus bit his lip. "Did James ever...er...?"

"What?" Lily asked. Her face remained puzzled.

"Did James ever tell you about me?" Remus let out in a rush.

Lily shook her head wordlessly.

Sirius stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching with the most serious face that Lily had ever seen him wear. "You should sit down, Lil," he said.

"I'm fine," Lily retorted. "What didn't James tell me, Remus?"

Sirius entered and guided her to a chair. "Sit," he said again. His voice was commanding. Lily sat.

Remus drew a shaky breath. "I...I'm a—" his voice broke.

"Do you want me to tell her?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus shook his head. "No, I will." He hesitated. "Lily, I'm a werewolf."

Lily stared at him. Fear flitted across her face. Remus bowed his head to avoid her mistrustful gaze.

"Remus?" Lily breathed. Remus looked up. Her face was uncertain, nervous, but also loving. "How long have you...?"

"Since I was little," Remus answered. "Very little."

"It's why James, Peter and I became Animagi," Sirius volunteered.

Lily looked up at him. "James would never tell me why," she whispered.

"Can you see why he wouldn't?" Sirius asked. His face was concerned.

"Yes, of course," Lily muttered, scanning the floor as though hoping to find something to say in the wooden boards.

Remus got up and walked over to Lily. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I assumed James had told you everything," he said.

Lily got up and wrapped her arms around Remus. "I know," she said. "I'm glad you told me now. It makes sense, after all."

"What do you mean?" Remus demanded, alarmed.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "That 'poor, sick mother' you 'visited' every month picked you up from King's Cross every holiday in the prime of health."

"Oops," Remus laughed. "I didn't know you were so perceptive back then."

Lily inclined her head and didn't respond.

"Where do you go to transform?" Sirius asked Remus.

"The basement," Remus answered.

Lily looked puzzled. "You have a basement?"

Remus got up and led her to the hallway. "Finite," he whispered at the end of the hall. The white paint shimmered and disappeared, revealing a small wooden door.

"That was an extremely powerful glamour," said Lily, clearly impressed.

"Yeah, well, we knew he was good at those, didn't we?" Sirius pointed out, gesturing at the locket glamour around Lily's neck.

Lily led them back to the living room and settled herself on the couch. "So, tonight..."

"I'll lock myself down there, cast a silencing charm, and ride it out," Remus explained, trying to sound nonchalant and failing.

"Moony's a very nice werewolf," Sirius assured Lily.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "How so?"

Sirius ignored him. "Want to know the best way to stop him from attacking you?"

Lily nodded apprehensively.

"Throw a stick and shout 'Fetch!'" Sirius laughed.

Lily's eyebrows shot up. She glanced at Remus. "Please tell me he isn't serious."

Remus opened his mouth, but Sirius interrupted. "Yes, I am Sirius."

Two voices groaned in unison.

* * *

><p>Lily sat in the hallway, leaning on the wall next to the door that led to the basement.<p>

Sirius approached from the kitchen and handed her a cup of tea. "You don't have to sit up, you know," he whispered, sinking to the floor beside her. "He's been through this a million times before."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that," Lily retorted.

Silence. Then, "How late are you going to stay up?"

Lily sipped her tea. "What time does the moon set?"

Sirius checked his watch. "Eight twenty-four," he said after a brief calculation in his head.

"Then I'm going to stay up until eight twenty-four."

"Okay."

The sun peeked over the horizon. Sirius gently shook Lily's shoulder. "Lil," he muttered, "the sun's up."

Lily blinked slowly. "Hmmmm?" she hummed as she gradually awoke.

"The sun's up," Sirius repeated.

"Oh!" Lily scrambled to her feet. "Where's my wand...?" she demanded, reaching around in all of her pockets.

Sirius cleared his throat. He held it out to her.

"Thanks," Lily muttered. "Alohamora." She waved her wand at the basement door. It opened with a click.

Lily wrenched it open and padded down the cold wooden stairs. Her figure softened in pity. "Oh, Remus," she tried to say, before realizing the silencing charm on the room was still in effect. She waved her wand to remove it.

Sirius descended the stairs to find Lily on her knees beside Remus, who was sprawled on the concrete floor, completely spent and covered in gashes.

"_Vulnera sanentur_," Lily whispered. The freely flowing blood stopped. "_Vulnera sanentur_," she whispered again. The flesh knit together. Sirius had to stop himself from choking. Remus had never been this bad when he had his friends with him. "_Vulnera sanentur_," Lily whispered a third time, and all visible traces of the wounds disappeared.

Remus blinked his eyes open a crack. "Lily...?" he whispered hoarsely.

"I'm here," Lily soothed. "So is Sirius. How do you feel?"

"Like a god," Remus answered. Sirius chuckled. Remus sat up slowly. "Got any water?"

Sirius conjured a cup and whispered, "_Aguamenti_," to fill it. He handed it to Remus. "I've never seen you this bad," he commented. "It was better when you had company. Next time I'm staying with you."

"No," Remus said calmly. "I told you last night that I was never going to let you do that again. It was a stupid, boyhood habit. I could have killed any of you, thank Merlin I didn't."

Sirius folded his arms. "Don't be an idiot, Moony. You know you do better when you have company."

"It's different now, Padfoot. I've been getting worse," Remus said, voice rising. "I can't be responsible for your death. I just can't."

"Then, just for you, I will try awfully hard not to die."

"Lily?" Remus appealed. "You don't agree with him, do you?"

Lily just looked at him.

"Oh, no," Remus moaned. "The both of you?"

"I think it's a good idea," Lily announced. "You shouldn't have to mutilate yourself like this. If Sirius can help..."

"He won't be any help if I kill him, will he?" demanded Remus.

Lily put her arm around him and helped him up. "Come upstairs," she said soothingly. "We'll talk about this more after you've recovered."

* * *

><p>Severus Snape stared down at the little ripped newspaper clipping in his hand. He gripped it tightly. A single moist tear almost fell upon it. Severus moved his hand to avoid getting it wet. He watched Lily's red hair sway as she danced with the ripped away James Potter. Severus' hand tightened in fury as he spotted his nemesis trying to sneak into the corner of the picture. He pulled out his wand and prodded James back out of the picture, trying to envision himself in Potter's shoes, dancing with his one and only love.<p>

But his love was gone. Severus had thought that when the Dark Lord spared Lily's life, she would come to him with forgiveness and in dire need of a shoulder to cry on. He should have known that the forgiveness would be for Black. That the shoulder would be Lupin. He should have known.

And now Lily was missing. She had disappeared off the face of the earth, or so it seemed. Severus slipped the clipping into one of his desk drawers and locked it with a muttered, "_Colloportus_."

Severus put his head on his desk and pounded his fist down. This was not how it was supposed to turn out. Lily was supposed to be _his._ Oh, how the Dark Lord had laughed and laughed when he found out that Severus' mudblood love had thought nary a whisper about her mysterious savior. It was humiliating.

Severus' coal-colored eyes clouded over as he recalled that moment. Rage filled him once again. Lily Evans was his. She always would be. He needed to find what was his.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) ...The plot thickens. Hope you're enjoying it so far. Drop me a review to tell me if you are/aren't! Or just wait for the next chapter, that's good too. Should be within the next couple of days._

_The lullaby in this chapter is called "All Through the Night." It's of Welsh origin, to the tune composed by Edward Jones and the lyrics attributed to John Ceiriog Hughs. I changed one of the lyrics, from "God" to "Dad," because I think that at best Lily would have a complicated relationship with religion._


	3. What's In A Name

Chapter 3. What's In A Name

Lily was humming softly as she cleaned up the mess that Remus had left in the basement in his latest transformation. Padfoot had been with him a number of times now, during the full moon, and he was doing a bit better. She had settled Moony firmly on the couch with a cup of tea and instructed him to stay there until further notice. An icy glare at his protestations had assured his obedience.

There was a thundering coming from the wooden steps. When it stopped, and without turning around, Lily said, "Hullo, Padfoot."

"Lily, have you seen my watch? I've been looking everywhe—"

"Did you try the bathroom counter?" Lily asked with a smile, turning to face Sirius.

Sirius reached up and smacked himself comically on the forehead. "Of course," he said with an answering grin. "Knew there was someplace I'd forgotten. Thanks, Lil." He came over and hugged her tightly.

"Easy, Padfoot," chided Lily. She pushed him away playfully and caressed her protruding belly.

Sirius looked like a beaten puppy for a moment. "Sorry," he apologized dolefully. "You have been getting a bit more difficult to hug lately. And I _do _tend to get a bit more aggressive when I'm hungry."

Lily checked her watch. "Oh, no," she said heavily. "I've missed making lunch, haven't I?"

"It's okay, Lil, I'll get it," said Sirius. "You've been so busy. You shouldn't even _be _up and about, probably. With the baby and all. You only have a little while until your time."

"Nonsense," Lily responded. "I'm just fine. It's not like you can cook worth a Knut anyway. What do you want for lunch?"

She took a few steps to the stairs. Just as she was about to put her foot on the first one, however, she stumbled, seemingly over nothing, and toppled toward the stairs.

"Lily!" cried Sirius, running to her, but Lily had already put out a hand to catch herself on the edge of a step. Sirius wrapped an arm around her, supporting her. "What happened?" he demanded.

"Nothing," Lily muttered. "I just felt faint for a moment."

Sirius frowned. "You should see a Healer."

"Are you crazy? They'll find out who I am! They'll come looking for you."

"What if there's something really wrong with you? Or with the baby?" Sirius wheedled. He hit a nerve.

"I'm fine," Lily snapped. "Let go of me-e-e-e!" Her voice had risen several octaves in pain. Sirius ducked as broken glass flew from the lamps in the room. Lily's scream had shattered the light bulbs, filled with magic as it was.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Sirius asked urgently, pale with fear.

"Oh..." Lily moaned, leaning into his embrace, resting most of her weight on Sirius. He helped her sit on the stairs.

"What hurts? Lily? Lily!" Sirius' voice was rising in panic.

A light appeared from the top of the stairs. "What on earth—" began Remus from the basement door. He took in the sight before him and rushed to kneel in front of Lily. "What's wrong with her?" he asked Sirius briskly over her moans of pain.

"I don't know!" Sirius practically shouted.

Remus pursed his lips in displeasure. "Lily, honey," he said soothingly. He put his hands on either side of her face. "Calm down. I need you to calm down." He continued in this manner until Lily's loud moans reverted to frightened and pain-filled whimpers.

Tears swam in her eyes, and as she rocked back and forth, Remus' face and voice seemed so very like James'. Lily began to cry in earnest, then and it took her a few minutes to calm down again. "It doesn't hurt so much, now," she whispered.

"What was it?" asked Sirius, shaking slightly.

Lily put a hand on her lower belly. "Here," she said, rubbing it softly.

Sirius whitened even more. "Are you going into labor?"

Lily shook her head. "No, I don't think so."

"Are you sure?" This was Remus.

"I said 'I don't think so,' Remus," Lily said irritably. "I don't know. It wasn't like this when I had Harry." Another tear slipped out of the corner of her eye at this name. Her lip was trembling, threatening to take her over the precipice again.

Remus put a hand on her arm. "Do you feel up to coming upstairs?" he asked. Lily nodded, and the two men helped her stand and walk slowly up the stairs, where they settled her on the sofa.

Remus sat next to her. "Lily," he began, "I'm really rather worried about all of this. I think perhaps you ought to see a doctor."

"No!" shouted Lily vehemently. "We'll be found out! All of us will be sent to Azkaban and—"

"Lily." Remus' voice was commanding. It demanded Lily's silence. "I don't mean it has to be a Healer at St. Mungo's. You could see a Muggle doctor just as easily."

"In London?" Lily's voice quivered slightly. It was clear that she was thinking of the Ministry's stronghold in the center of London.

Remus put his hand over hers. "If you lie low and don't make a fuss, then you should avoid the Ministry's attention. We're not their number one priority right now."

"We're not?" asked Sirius. "Who could possibly be more dangerous than a known traitor and the people who are deluded enough to break him out of prison?"

Lily cleared her throat. "Voldemort," she answered without preamble.

There was silence for a moment. Lily was right. They had been living in isolation, feeling safe. They were not safe.

"Okay, so you'll have to take the subway into London. Apparating is not the greatest idea in your condition," Remus awkwardly changed the subject.

Sirius frowned, creases appearing in his forehead with worry and confusion. "You're going with her, aren't you?"

Lily turned her gaze expectantly to Remus.

Remus looked shameful for a moment. "Well, I had that job interview tomorrow. But of course, you're right, Sirius, I'll cancel it and go with Lily."

"No, no," protested Lily. "You go, Remus. I know how hard—" she stopped suddenly at the look on Remus' face. She knew how hard it was for him to get a job with his condition.

"I'll go with her," Sirius offered.

"And risk both of us getting caught? No. I'll go by myself," Lily said. At the disbelieving looks of the two men, she exclaimed, "Oh, for goodness sake, you two, I'm pregnant, not helpless!"

She heaved herself off the sofa. Both men sprang up and tried to support her, but Lily shook them off and marched into the kitchen, alone.

Dimly, Sirius and Remus could hear her pick up the phone and dial. They heard her say, "Could you please transfer me to an OB's office? Thank you." There was a pause. "Yes, hello. I would like an appointment... Tomorrow afternoon... No... Six months... Yes, I know I should have come in before this... Thank you... Yes... Thank you. Good day." A click.

Lily smiled. "It's all settled," she told them. "Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to make sure I have some Muggle clothes that still fit over _this." _She indicated her belly. Then, with a flourish, she swept down the hall and to her bedroom.

* * *

><p>It was a dark and rather dismal day on the streets of London. Lily stuck to busy, frequented pathways, but they were only mildly crowded. It was the middle of the workday during the week, and the weather had turned off shoppers and sight-seers.<p>

Lily approached the clean glass doors of the clinic and pulled them open, ignoring the sterile smell that blasted her in the face as she stepped inside. A nurse with a pasted-on smile beckoned her over to a desk. "Your name, ma'am?" she asked politely as though she'd said it a thousand times already that day. Which probably she had.

"Avens," Lily answered smoothly. "Elizabeth Avens. My appointment is for three o'clock."

The nurse typed something on a computer, her long, French-style nails tapping sickeningly on the keyboard. "Just take a seat over there," she said to Lily, indicating the waiting area. "A nurse will be out to call you in."

The so-called fabric of the chair crinkled as Lily sat down. The office wasn't busy at all. Lily flipped idly through a magazine. She didn't have to wait long before a door opened and a young woman called out, "Elizabeth Avens?" Lily stood up.

She looked far more welcoming than the lady at the desk, with a real smile and a far more business-like appearance. She wore scrubs and kept her hair in a practical pony-tail. "I'm Alex," she said warmly. "I'll be helping you out a bit today."

Alex checked her chart. "So you're six months along?"

Lily looked carefully into the young nurse's face for signs of judgment. She hummed her assent. Alex looked up and smiled. "Been too busy to come in?"

"Something like that," Lily answered evasively. She hated to lie to this friendly girl.

The nurse weighed her—Lily winced at the high number—and took some blood. Then she began asking questions about Lily's family history. Lily answered truthfully—all her family were Muggles. Then, inevitably, Alex asked, "Would your husband be around to answer about his history?"

Lily bowed her head and worked up her courage. "My husband is dead."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Alex, looking aghast. "What happened?"

"It was a car accident," Lily lied, blinking back tears.

Alex went on with gentle, prodding questions about James' parents and discovered that Lily knew very little about her husband's side of the family. Or, at least, knew very little that she was willing to disclose. James' parents were quite magical.

Alex stood up. "If you'll just wait here, Elizabeth, the doctor will be in momentarily for an ultrasound." Lily nodded and settled back to wait.

It wasn't long before Alex returned with the doctor. For having a slow day, he seemed very harried and brisk. "Pleased to meet you, Ms. Avens, I am Dr. Foxland."

He went on to settle her in for an ultrasound without small talk. In the end, it fell to Alex to strike up a conversation. "So is this your first child, Elizabeth?" she asked with her dazzling smile.

Lily shook her head no, watching the doctor with interest.

"Tell me about your other children," Alex begged.

Lily smiled sadly. "One child. His name was Harry," she said.

"Was?" repeated Alex, looking a bit frightened.

"The car accident," Lily reminded her. In her mind, she saw Harry's face and the flash of green light again. She shook her head hard and focused on the little black screen, waiting for an image to appear.

Dr. Foxland found the baby right away. "Everything seems to be in order," he said with a small smile.

"Really?" asked Lily. "I was worried. I've been experiencing some dizziness and stomach pain."

The doctor frowned. "This happens often?"

"Just the once," Lily answered.

"Had you eaten anything that day?"asked the doctor.

Lily shook her head.

"You need to eat more," the doctor said firmly. "Come in at once if it happens again."

Alex smiled. "You're eating for two, after all." This got a smile out of Lily.

"Do you wish to know the sex of the child?" Dr. Foxland asked her.

"What the hell. Which is it?" Lily said after a moment of thought.

Dr. Foxland smiled his first real smile. "It's a baby girl. Congratualations." Then he pulled off his gloves and excused himself.

Alex used a wipe to clean the gel off Lily's stomach. "Are you happy it's a girl?"

Lily grinned broadly. "Yes."

"I know Dr. Foxland can seem a bit coarse. He's really good, though," Alex assured her. "If there was anything wrong with her, he'd have found it. Have you thought about names?"

"No," Lily admitted. "It was too early to think about before the...accident, and it seems odd to think about it without James."

Alex looked sad. "I can imagine. Well—I can't, of course. Nobody can imagine, I'm sure. I don't know what I would do without Owen."

"That's your boyfriend?"

Alex blushed. "My fiancé. He's a paramedic. We're getting married next year."

"Congratulations," Lily said warmly, feeling the conversation winding to an end. "Well, I have a train to catch. Thank you so much."

Alex bid her farewell. The secretary chirped an overexcited "Good afternoon," as Lily stepped out into the grey world.

The clouds threatened ominously of rain. Lily walked briskly towards the subway station. Suddenly, she stopped. There was something she had forgotten, something that she had to do, but she couldn't pinpoint it.

Ice cream.

She had to have it. She had to have it _now._ Recalling an ice cream truck in a square a ways back, she whirled on her heel and half-ran back in that direction. She knew it was a craving, that she shouldn't give in, but it was like the image had been pounded into her skull.

Ice cream.

She entered the square. It was mildly populated by couples and families sitting in front of a small café. A church occupied one area. A large minister was standing in front of it, talking to an old woman. It seemed quiet.

Due to the weather, there was no line at the ice cream truck. Lily considered the menu for a moment before placing her order. "Two scoops of vanilla ice cream, please," she said to the old man behind the window.

His wrinkled face looked down at her with merrily twinkling eyes. "Afternoon, lass. What was it you said? Two of the vanilla?"

"Yes," Lily answered. The man put two generous scoops in a plastic cup, then after a moment of hesitation, he added a third.

"For the little'un," he said, smiling warmly at her.

Lily, deciding against protesting, dug in ferociously. She made a face. "This is terrible," she said.

The man shrugged and grinned a little wider. "Hey, now, lass, I don' make it, I just sell it. Here. Try this chocolate sauce. Makes it a helluva lot better, if you'll pardon my French."

Lily applied a thick layer of chocolate sauce and took another bite. "Much better," she said happily. "I didn't catch your name, sir."

The man was no longer looking at her. He was staring over her shoulder, terror on his face. Before Lily could look, he reached an arm through the window and pushed her hard. She fell to the ground.

A stream of green light passed right through the spot where she had just been and hit him square in the face. She watched the twinkle fade out of his eyes. Screams filled the square. Lily turned slowly around, shocked. Men in black cloaks and masks over their faces wielded wands, shooting green light everywhere around the square.

Lily reached for her wand, but before she could get to it, someone clad in black put a hand over her wand hand and covered her mouth when she screamed. "These demons won't dare enter into the sacristy of the church," he whispered. "Come with me."

It was the priest she had seen standing outside the church earlier. He half-dragged Lily into the church. She protested. "Let go of me," she demanded, "I can help!"

"Only God can help them now," said the priest. "Their judgment day has come."

The door of the church flew open. Quickly, the priest opened a little side door and pushed her in. It was a small, confined area, which Lily dimly recognized as a confessional. The priest forced her down and covered her with his body.

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth," the man muttered. He continued in this manner until Lily heard footsteps outside the confessional.

"Shut up!" she hissed at him.

The confessional door opened. "Hello, Father," said a snide voice. "Will you hear my confession now?"

The priest, who had never stopped reciting his psalm, raised his voice. "The Lord shall preserve you from all evil! He shall preserve thy soul!"

Lily buried her head behind the man, praying she wouldn't be seen.

"I'll take that as a no, then," the Death Eater said. "Pity. You could have saved my soul." And before the priest had gotten three words into the next line, he was dead.

Lily's prayers were answered, and the Death Eater slammed the door of the confessional without noticing her, leaving Lily hyperventilating and pinned to the floor by the large dead priest.

Her hands were trapped awkwardly in front of her, so that she could not reach her wand to blast her way out of the confined area. Screams from the courtyard increased, then died down.

With an enormous effort, Lily wrenched her hand free and pulled her wand out of her back pocket. She used raw magic to blast her way out the door and stumbled out of the church, wand at the ready.

It was already over. An eerie silence hung over the courtyard. Bodies were strewn everywhere. Some hung limp at their café tables. Others had tried to run.

She walked, dazed, among the dead, examining them, praying she wouldn't find faces of her friends from the Order. But no. There had been no one to protect the Muggles. Somehow, Lily almost felt worse that way.

She walked among the bodies, avoiding looking at their faces. One in particular caught her eye. It was clad in light green scrubs. Lily approached slowly, her stomach clenching in dread of what she might find.

It was Alex.

"No," breathed Lily. The girl had probably been just let off her shift, and was walking home, or to some coffee shop to meet her fiancé. Lily fell to her knees next to the girl.

Somebody had to be told. She started to pull out her wand to conjure a Patronus that would tell Sirius and Remus about the massacre, but she stopped herself. Telling them wouldn't do any good. She had to tell the Muggle officials so the bodies could be collected.

She looked around. A dead businessman lay nearby, one of the new mobile telephone contraptions laying near his hand. Lily picked it up gingerly. Dimly, she could hear a tin voice on the other end of the line—"Mr. Quigley? Mr. Quigley?" Lily hit the 'end' button and gingerly dialed 999.

"What's your emergency?" said the cool female voice over the phone.

Lily swallowed. "I'm calling...to report a mass murder outside the Church of-" she glanced up for the name, "—Saint Gianna."

There was a spit second pause. "Is the murderer still in the area?"

"No. They all left."

"Are there any survivors?"

Lily glanced around. "I think it's just me."

"I'm going to send an ambulance anyway, okay?"

"Okay." Lily was ashamed at how her voice shook. She heard the wailing of sirens. "I hear them now. I'm going to hang up."

"Wait—" began the dispatcher, but Lily clicked the phone off and dropped it back to the ground. She stood up and backed away into a side alley.

The ambulance pulled up into the square. The paramedics climbed out of it. They looked like they couldn't decide which one to go to for a moment, but quickly made up their minds and knelt next to some of the people.

Lily watched as their faces went from business-like to crestfallen. Yes, she wanted to tell them, they're dead. All of them. Even the little five-year old girl there at that table. The one with her dead mother covering her with her body.

At least _that_ mother tried to protect _her_ baby.

One of the paramedics set eyes on Alex's body. Lily watched his eyes widen in terror. He sprinted over to her. "ALEX!" he shouted. The other paramedics raced over to him. "ALEX! ALEX, NO! NO!"

"You must be Owen," Lily whispered softly. "I know how you feel."

_She was being carried by a pair of strong arms, she didn't care whose, she only cared that they did not belong to James. _

"_JAMES! HARRY! JAMES! JAMES!"_

_She was screaming it, over and over, her dead husband and baby—_

Lily shook her head. She wiped her eyes and turned away from the scene.

* * *

><p>Remus hummed softly as he returned from his job interview. The local library had an open position, and it seemed like the perfect job for him. The woman he had spoken to about the position had taken quite a shine to him, and so he had high hopes for getting the job. The folly of the ages and the literature of the times at his fingertips, Remus was in a good mood.<p>

He stopped by the grocer's to pick up something to make that evening for dinner. Now he had only to swing by the subway station to pick up Lily. He whistled a tune as he headed for the terminal.

Lily disembarked from the train, head held high and trying to appear, for all she was worth, that nothing was wrong. But Remus could tell, as could anyone who knew her well. It was the vacant, hopeless look in her eyes. The way her shoulders sagged just a bit when she thought no one was looking at her.

"What's happened?" Remus asked Lily quietly, putting a hand on her back and guiding her off the platform.

Lily shook her head. "Not now," she said, voice quivering and betraying her shock. "At home. With Sirius. I won't say this more than once."

* * *

><p>"And so I just left. I just got on the subway and left. I didn't know what else to do." Tears swam in Lily's eyes but she had refused to let them fall the entire time she had been telling her tale.<p>

Sirius had his arm around her. He pulled her closer. "There was nothing left to do, Lil," he said softly. "You did everything that could have been expected of you."

Lily shook her head miserably. "I could have resisted that preacher more. I could have gotten away from him. I could have helped them."

Remus, seated in an armchair nearest across from her, put his hand on her knee. "I'm just glad you got away safely," he whispered. His eyes were suspiciously red around the rims. "If you had—" he cut off sharply.

"What?" Lily asked.

Remus remained silent.

"He means, if you had died, we never could have lived with ourselves," Sirius supplied.

Lily frowned. "There was nothing you could have done differently."

"Yes, there _was_!" Remus leapt to his feet. "I should have gone _with _you! How could I think that some job is more important than you? How could I? If you had died, Lily, it would have been _my_ fault! And I would have had to live with that for the rest of my measly little life!" He raced out of the living room and down the hall.

Lily and Sirius heard his door slam. Sirius glanced at Lily for her reaction.

"Well, I'm off to bed," Lily said softly, standing and kissing Sirius on the cheek. "Good night."

"G'night," Sirius responded, staring after her. After a moment, he, too, rose and ascended the steps to the attic, stomach growling from its lack of dinner.

* * *

><p>A knock sounded softly on Lily's door. She heaved herself up off the bed, one hand on her protruding belly. She opened the door a crack.<p>

Remus stood there, eyes bloodshot from crying. "Can I come in?" he asked her hoarsely.

Lily opened the door wider in answer. She settled down on the edge of the bed and patted the place next to her. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry I shouted at you. I was just..." Remus trailed off.

Lily waited a moment to see if he was going to finish before supplying, "Scared?"

Remus nodded.

Lily cast her gaze down and picked at a hole in her patchwork quilt. "I was, too. I _am_."

"I should have been there for you. I could've helped you."

Lily smiled. "James always used to say that could've, would've, and should've all add up to the same thing—didn't."

"James was a very smart guy," Remus responded with an answering grin. "When he chose to be, that is. He could also be downright stupid."

"I miss him, Remus."

Remus put his arm around her. "I know," he whispered, burying his face in her red hair. "I miss him, too."

* * *

><p>When Lily awoke the next morning, Remus' head was on the pillow beside hers and Padfoot was curled up, sleeping, in dog form at the foot of the bed.<p>

She smiled.

* * *

><p>Severus was pacing again. Back and forth, back and forth. He stared at the picture sitting on his nightstand. It was of Lily, waving cheerily at the magical camera, proffering the book he had just bought her for her birthday.<p>

It was the last time she and him had ever had a pleasant exchange. Two days later he had called her that fateful name, the name that had caused her to leave his life forever.

"Mudblood." He spat the word. He had never spoken it to anyone since that day. He had called them all sorts of names, but left that one. Every time it left his lips, he saw her face again. Shocked. Hurt. Betrayed. Angry.

Severus shook his head to clear it of this image.

His fingers traced the frame of the picture. _You will be mine, Lily. _Severus smiled. _Soon. I will find you soon._

He clutched the thin sheet of paper in his hand. It held the key to finding her. A simple little address. Of a simple little grocery store in a simple little town. And Severus had a brilliant, simple little plan.

But not yet. He had to wait for the opportune moment.

* * *

><p>Lily lay sprawled on the couch, an open book resting against her stomach. A hand reached in from the side of her vision. Lily started, then relaxed.<p>

"'Lo, Padfoot," she said warmly. Sirius settled his hand on Lily's belly.

"How's our little girl doing?" he asked with a smile.

Lily smiled tiredly. "She kicks hard enough to not allow me any sleep."

"Now, now," Sirius chastised, directing his speech to Lily's stomach and waggling his finger comically, "that isn't nice. You should be nice to your mummy."

Rubbing her belly gently, Lily said, "She can't hear you."

"Perhaps if I could call her by her name...?" Sirius prodded gently.

Grief swept Lily's face. "How can I choose a name, Sirius? How can I choose a name without James?"

Sirius sat down next to her. "I can help. What about...Alice? After Alice Longbottom?"

Lily shook her head mutely.

"Okay, er...If you want to remember James and Harry, then what about Jamie? Harriet?"

Lily shook her head again.

"Erm...What about—"

Lily held up her hand. "Sirius, stop. I have to do this by myself. With James."

"With James?"

Lily nodded and stood up. "I'm going back there."

Sirius opened his mouth, but Lily cut him off. "No, you're not coming with me."

She fetched her cloak from the coat closet and swept off down the street. The streetlights were her only light as it was a new moon this evening. She walked far enough away from the house that the Apparation wards no longer were in effect. Then she whirled on her heel and disappeared.

On arriving, Lily sat on the curb for a moment, recovering her breath and rubbing her belly. She knew it wasn't a good idea to Apparate in this stage of pregnancy, but she had to come. She stood and automatically thought the phrase.

_The Potter's Home can be found at Number 13, Lion's Lane, Godric's Hollow, England. _

She watched as her old cottage materialized in front of her eyes.

Lily's breath caught in her throat as she choked back a sob. Moisture gathered in her eyes as she stared at the place that had once been, and always would be, at least a little bit, her home.

She pushed at the gate, but found that the latch had been broken. She pulled out her wand and muttered, "_Reparo_." The latch clicked into place, and she lifted it. She walked up the path, breathing deliberately and slowly.

She walked inside. A familiar view met her eyes: her kitchen, with dirty dishes still piled near the sink, now covered with dust. How many evenings had she spent here making dinner with James? Too many to count, yet not nearly enough. Not nearly enough. She walked through an archway to the living room.

Dust coated the comfortable sofas and armchairs. A broken toy broomstick lay next to the glass door that led to the backyard. Lily's gut twisted, and, tears in her eyes, she turned away and walked slowly up the stairs. She didn't look at the spot where James had been lying, dead, in the upstairs hallway. The doorway to the nursery was open, doorless, inviting, but Lily also passed it by. She went all the way to the end of the hallway where the master bedroom was.

Hand shaking, Lily pushed the door open. The window pane was shattered—glass littered the floor. Lily stepped gingerly among the sharp, glittering fragments. Her hand felt for the light switch automatically, but, naturally, it did nothing.

"_Lumos_," Lily said, voice sounding strange and out of place in this tomb-like house. She sat gingerly on the bed, then reclined out against the scarlet fabric. She turned over and faced James' empty pillow. She could still smell, ever-fading, the scent of his cologne. Or was it just her imagination?

"Hi, sweetheart," she could almost hear his deep, rich voice saying to her.

"Hi," she found herself murmuring. She felt her eyes drifting closed. She let them. She could almost feel James' arms secure around her. She drifted off.

* * *

><p>"Wake up, Lily."<p>

Lily turned over. "Go away, Sirius."

"Sirius?" The voice was amused.

"Remus, then. Whoever you are." Lily's head was buried under her pillow.

"Come on, love. It's time to get up," the voice continued insistently.

Lily groaned and rolled over, then recoiled in shock. "James?"

His twinkling hazel eyes smiled down at her. "Lily?" he said in a friendly, mockingly similar tone.

"You're...You're..." Lily began. He was dead, he had to be.

"Going to be late for work? I know. Which is why you have to get up to look after Harry and—" James' voice suddenly became very murky and unclear. Lily recognized at last that she was dreaming. She shook her head and focused.

"They're outside on the swingset," James was telling her, gesturing to the window.

Lily nodded and got up, slowly.

"Good-bye, love," James said warmly. He kissed her, then pulled on his cloak and disappeared out the door.

Lily stared after him. The, hesitatingly, she went to the window and looked out. There, in the backyard swingset were two children, one about seven, the other maybe five. They both had their backs to Lily. The elder child had cropped, messy, black hair that could have been James'. The other had long, silky black locks that shone in the morning sun.

Lily turned around and stared wildly around the room. On James' side of the bed sat a book. Lily recognized it immediately. It was the baby name book James had bought the moment he found out that Lily was pregnant.

"_Isn't it a bit early to be looking at baby names, sweetheart?" Lily had asked with a greeting kiss when James walked inside with the book._

_He had given her a dazzling smile. "Never too early," he'd answered._

_That night, he had pulled out the book and his quill in their bed. He was going through the book slowly and carefully, marking the ones he liked with his quill._

_Lily had turned off the light at around eleven, and he had carefully marked his place, closed the book, and slid it under his pillow._

Lily awoke gradually, and idea already in her mind.

She reached delicately under James' pillow and pulled out the book. She opened it to the marked page and caressed the paper fondly. He had only gotten as far as the 'D' names and a little into the "E"s.

There were very many names circled in the book, but fortunately for Lily, James had narrowed down these names as well. Written on the bookmark in his scrawling hand were two very special lists of a few favorites, one for girl's names, and one for boy's. Most of the names on both had been crossed off, narrowing them further. Lily focused on the girl's.

_**Alice**_

_**Ava**_

_**Brooke**_

_**Bethany**_

_**Caitlyn**_

_**Clara**_

_**Ellen**_

Only 'Clara' had not been crossed off. Lily flipped through the book to names beginning with 'Cl.'

**Clara (KLAH-ruh) bright, clear**

It had been circled several times.

"Thank you, James," Lily said softly, holding the book to her chest. "It's perfect."

* * *

><p>Remus and Sirius were sitting in the living room, enjoying some tea, when Lily walked in.<p>

"Clara," she said simply, removing her cloak.

Remus smiled. "How did you decide?"

"I didn't," Lily answered. "James did."

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Thanks to all for reading! I hope you're enjoying it so far. A review would make my day if you've got the time. _


	4. Complications

**Warning: **Some violence and mild sexual harassment. (If you can call any sexual harassment _mild._)

_(A/N) EDIT: I found a scene break that was in the wrong place, and I'm persnickety about such things, so I had to fix it. Feel free to let me know if I do such things and I'll fix them._

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 4. Complications<span>

Lily stepped out the door and leaned back in to kiss Remus on the cheek. "I'm off to the grocer's, honey," she said in a milky-sweet voice.

"Goodbye, Lizzie," Remus responded. Lily waved cheerily to the neighbors, who were out on their front lawn, enjoying the first hints of spring, despite the sky's threats of rain. They waved back.

Lily fingered the locket around her neck, making sure its clasp was still firm. If it came undone, her hair would immediately revert back from its faux blonde curls to a shimmering red, and her face would lose its slight alterations. She hid a grin. _That _would be something to entertain the neighbors.

The store was only a few blocks away, yet due to Lily's advanced state of pregnancy, she was out of breath by the time she reached the door.

She rubbed her protruding stomach gently. "Eight months is far too long to be carrying you around with me. Eight months today, hmmm?" She hummed softly to her unborn daughter.

Lily heard a rumble of thunder in the distance. She opened the glass door and stepped inside, just in time to avoid the sheets of rain than drenched the town in an instant. Lily smiled at her luck.

The little corner store was empty except for the teenage, black-haired girl behind the counter, snapping her chewing gum at irregular intervals. Lily nodded amiably to the girl and picked up a shopping basket. The girl looked up from her magazine briefly.

Lightning lit up the store, and the dim lights seemed pale in comparison. Thunder crashed, and Lily picked up a shopping basket and wondered vaguely how she was going to get home without being drenched.

_No one will notice if I just cast a—_Lily's thoughts were interrupted with a sudden recollection. She had left her wand on the kitchen counter at home. The thought of being without her wand made her uneasy. She started to leave—she didn't want to be unarmed in a public place so she was going to head home for her wand and come another day, but a little swishing sound from the back aisle caught her ears.

"Hello?" she asked uncertainly, moving toward the sound against her better judgment. "Hello?"

She stepped forward. Lightning flashed again, temporarily blinding Lily. In the moment it took for her eyes to readjust to the faded light of the store, someone whispered. "Hello," in a silky voice and placed a wand tip against her back. "Please don't scream, my love."

Lily opened her mouth to do just that.

"_Silencio_," said the silky voice. Lily was sure she had heard it before, a long time ago. It was a voice she felt she should know well. "We couldn't have that strapping youth in the front of the store running to your aid, could we?"

The voice's sarcasm clicked it into place in Lily's mind. _Snape._

"Ah, but you know I prefer Severus from you, my dear," Severus purred into her ear.

Damn him and his aptitude for Legilimency.

"Just walk to the front of the store, put your basket down, and walk out. And don't even think of trying to communicate with the cashier. Not that she'd do anything anyways."

Two could play at his mind games. Lily resisted him, both bodily and mentally. A searing pain coursed through her head. She cast him out of her brain. Physically, though, she was no match for him. He smacked a hand across her face. Lily felt her lip split.

"Come now, love. Or it won't be just you I'll be taking. I'll take your little wolf friend, too. _And _the flea-bitten mongrel."

Lily's heart stopped. He knew where Sirius and Remus were. They weren't expecting an attack, Sirius still didn't even have a wand—she took a tottering step forward.

"Good girl." Lily felt Severus' breath on the back of her neck and shivered.

Lily walked, head high, fighting back tears to the front of the store. She set her basket down on the floor and the pair stepped out into the pouring rain, Snape's wand still at her back.

"Have a nice evening," called the cashier as the door closed.

_Yeah, right,_ Lily thought as lighting flashed again. Severus gripped her arm fiercely and paused for a moment. As the thunder roared, Lily felt the constricting feeling in her belly that meant she was being transported by Side-Along Apparition. The noise was covered by the thunder.

They arrived, still in the rain, in front of two huge gates. Severus pulled her toward them, but Lily resisted. Severus raised his wand and said something Lily didn't hear. A stream of red light sped toward her, and Lily knew no more.

* * *

><p>"Rennervate," said the silky voice. Lily felt someone brush her wet hair from her face. She blinked her eyes open.<p>

Lily peered up at Severus from the cold stone floor. Her eyes showed her immense feeling of betrayal. A hand reached up to wipe away the blood from her cut lip.

"No," Severus stopped her with his long, pale fingers. "Let me." He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed the blood tenderly from her lip. He folded the kerchief reverently and placed it in a pocket on his robes.

"What do you want, Severus?" Lily asked. Her voice shivered.

"Is it his?"

Lily's brow furrowed. "Is what whose?" she asked.

Severus indicated her swollen belly. "That. Is it Potter's?"

"Yes, of course."

Severus' mouth thinned in displeasure. "Of course," he repeated.

"Severus, what do you want with me?" Lily's voice was a little stronger.

"What do I want?"

Lily nodded.

"I want you, Lily." His voice was almost without emotion. "You were always supposed to be mine. He said I could have you if I wanted you. I want you. You're mine."

Lily's eyes breathed fire. "As though I were an _object_. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Severus. And whoever gave me to you like a gift."

"He gave you a gift, too, Lily," Severus smiled. He offered her his hand to get up, but Lily got to her own feet, with difficulty.

"And what might that be?"

Severus tipped his head. "Your life. And only because I asked him to..."

Lily was confused for a moment, but her face cleared an instant later. "It was _you._ You told him about the prophecy. You're the reason we had to go into hiding! You're the reason that James and Harry are d-d-dead!" Lily was sobbing now, in grief and hatred. She threw herself at him, intending to do him harm in any way she possibly could. "You had him let me live when I should have DIED WITH THEM!"

Severus grabbed her and dragged her down the hall, where he opened a barred door with a clang and shoved her inside. "You'll never leave me!" The door slammed shut. Severus pressed his face against the bars. "Oh, Lily. You'll be happy here. I promise."

Lily, huddled at the far end of the cell on her soft, silken pallet, told him, in no uncertain measure, where he should go with his promises and what he should do with them when he got there.

Severus slipped quietly away with a whispered promise to return soon.

"Oh, James," Lily whispered. "Where are you to protect me now?" She allowed her mind to slip away to the last time Severus had approached her, what seemed a very long time ago now, after Potions class at Hogwarts...

* * *

><p>"<em>Is it true? You and Potter?" Severus' voice was harsh and demanding.<em>

_Lily raised her chin and tried to escape from his tight grip on her elbow. "I don't see how that's any of your concern, Severus," she answered._

"_You hate him."_

"_He's changed."_

"_No, he hasn't."_

"_Yes, he has," Lily nodded her head firmly. "And I have, too. I told you I don't want you around me anymore."_

_Severus looked down. "Will you ever forgive me for that?"_

"_Calling me Mudblood?" Lily clarified unnecessarily. "Someday, I'm sure. When you've changed, too. Now let go of me. I have class."_

_Severus wrenched her closer and pressed her up against the wall with both of his hands. "NO!"_

_Lily kicked and struggled. She tried to scream, and there was only one way to stop her. _

_He pressed his lips against hers in a rough kiss._

"_OY!" exclaimed an infuriated and frightened James Potter. With a BANG, Severus flew down the deserted hallway. "Lily, are you all right?" asked James, putting an arm around her._

_Lily made a small noise of assent, burying her face in his shoulder._

_Sirius, Peter, and Remus hurried past the couple to the bat-like form huddled on the floor. They violently dragged him back._

_James released Lily for a moment to come over to Severus. "If you ever, EVER, come near my girlfriend again, Snape," James threatened, eyes flashing, "I will kill you." Each word was spoken deliberately and with feeling. Lily could tell that he meant it. Every word._

_James returned to Lily and kissed her gently, warmly. "Come on, sweetheart," he whispered. "It'll be okay. I'll protect you from him."_

* * *

><p>"James," Lily whispered again. "James. Help me now. Protect me now. Protect our baby."<p>

Silence filled the cell, the only sound coming from Lily's tears falling to the cold, unforgiving stone floor.

Her eyes drifted closed.

Lily awoke some time later to the clink of metal on stone. Her eyes snapped open. Severus had dropped a thin silver chain at her feet. "Show me your ankle, Lily," he said quietly.

Lily tucked her feet up against her.

"Now," Severus said. His voice was gentle but commanding. Lily shook her head. "Imperio," Severus whispered, aiming his wand at Lily.

_Just give me your ankle, _whispered a cool, silky voice in Lily's head.

Lily settled her mind firmly against Severus'. _No, _she answered mentally, without emotion.

Severus strained harder, but Lily's defenses were strong. He lifted the spell and grabbed for her ankle. With incredible power he wrapped the chain around her ankle. It melded together seamlessly, tight around her leg.

Severus wrapped the other end around one of the iron poles that made up Lily's door. "There," he said. "Now you can have the run of my chambers. I've got to get to work." He stood at the door for a moment, gazing at her. Then he left.

Lily remained shaking on the floor for a moment. Then, slowly, she stood and went to the open cell door. She absorbed her surroundings—cold stone walls, bare floors, sparse furniture.

She walked slowly to his office and started ruffling through drawers, hoping to find anything that might be used as a weapon. Everything had been removed. The kitchen was empty of knives. Every piece of glassware had an Unbreaking Charm on it so that sharp shards of glass could not be removed.

Even the slender silver chain that tied her to her cell was magical. When she experimentally looped it around her neck as though to hang herself, it lost its tangibility and fell immediately to the floor. She went back to the office and continued to look, this time without much hope of finding something to help her. As she went through the drawers of his desk, she noticed that one, the far bottom drawer, was locked.

With a wicked smile, Lily realized that Snape would think that no wizard could get in without a wand. "But ordinary wizards haven't been married to James Potter," Lily muttered to herself. She reached up into her hair and drew out a hairpin.

She fitted it into the lock of the drawer and jiggled her hand furiously, then sharply turned her wrist. She heard a click. "Thank you for forcing me to learn that, James," she whispered, then whipped the drawer open—and recoiled in shock.

The drawer contained pictures of _her._ With trembling fingers, she picked up the top one. It was a newspaper clipping of Lily and James' wedding announcement. In the photo, Lily and James were dancing with each other happily—or, at least, they used to be. Severus had carefully ripped away James' half of the picture, so it looked like Lily was dancing with her arms around nothing at all.

Lily dropped the clipping and stepped back from the drawer. She didn't want to see what else lurked in the recesses of the drawer. She walked back to her cell and closed the door, pressing her face up against the iron bars.

Vaguely she wondered where she was—Hogwarts, perhaps? Surely Dumbledore would have noticed something fishy about Severus bringing in an unconscious Lily Potter. A thought struck her and her hand flew to her neck. Yes, her glamour charm was gone. Her hair was red and glossy once more. Lily felt almost naked without it.

She curled up on her fluffy silken pallet. There was nothing to do but wait. Wait for rescue, perhaps, if she was lucky, or wait for her kidnapper to return home and do Merlin knew what to her.

Lily prayed for rescue.

* * *

><p>"Lily, time to get up," Remus said loudly, knocking on Lily's door. "Come on, now, breakfast is ready."<p>

There was no answer.

"Lily?" Remus tried the door handle. It was open. With a strange sense of foreboding, Remus pushed the door open and—

Nothing. The room was empty. Remus' eyes fell on the bed. It had not been slept in.

"SIRIUS!"

"What?" called Sirius, annoyed, from the living room.

"LILY'S GONE!"

There was a scuffling sound from the living room and Sirius charged into Lily's bedroom. His eyes widened as he surveyed the room. Lily's nightgown lay folded neatly on the unwrinkled bedcover. "She was here last night," Sirius said, trying and failing not to betray his panic. "Wasn't she?"

Painfully slowly, Remus shook his head. "She went to the grocer's right before the storm. I thought I hadn't heard her come in because of the thunder."

"Oh, Merlin," Sirius whispered. "This is bad."

Remus shook his head as though clearing it. "Let's go the corner store. Now."

"Should I—"

"Yes," Remus cut him off. Sirius shrank to dog form. Remus located his glamour collar and buckled it on. Padfoot shimmered, and when Remus blinked, Padfoot transformed into his yellow lab form. The pair charged out of the house.

* * *

><p>"Sure, she was in here," said the black-haired girl behind the counter. "Last night,<p>

just before the storm hit. Why, she do something wrong? You the police?"

"No," Remus said, sliding the picture of the glamoured Lily back into his pocket. "When did she leave?"

The girl shrugged. "Maybe five minutes after she came in. She didn't buy anything."

"Why not?"

"I dunno," the girl said irritably. "I didn't ask her. They seemed in an awful hurry."

Padfoot whined from outside. Remus ignored him. "They?" he repeated. "She left with someone?"

The girl snapped her chewing gum and hummed her assent. "Some tall, black-haired man."

"Could you be any more specific?"

"I didn't really get a good look at him, all right? I didn't even see him come in."

Remus looked crestfallen. "Was he carrying anything?"

"I wouldn't know, he had his hands in his pockets. I noticed that was odd, 'cause it looked like he might've been holding on to something, you know? Like a gun, maybe."

_Or a wand, _Remus thought to himself. "You're sure you can't describe him more?"

The girl shrugged again. "Like I said, he wasn't in here long."

"Well, if you think of anything..." Remus pushed her a slip of paper with his telephone number on it.

The girl picked it up and slid it into the pocket on her smock. "Yes, sir. Have a nice afternoon."

Remus nodded and walked out. The look on his face told Padfoot everything.

The walk home was full of stony silence. As soon as the door closed behind them, Sirius retransformed and said, "Maybe she just left with the guy...to...you know..."

"And maybe my uncle's a hippogriff," Remus retorted irritably. "It's too soon after James, and for Merlin's sake, she's eight months pregnant!"

Sirius, suddenly devoid of energy, sank to the couch weakly and buried his head in his hands. "Then what are we going to do?" he asked, barely audible.

"We're going to figure something out," Remus said, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself more than Sirius.

"And if we can't?"

Remus didn't answer.

* * *

><p>She looked at him—a poor, thin little boy of barely two—and nearly shed tears. What kind of life would he know? Running, always running, never with a proper family. Only her. And what kind of family is that, then? A grandmother who only just moved her own son out of her house four years ago.<p>

She stroked the boy's dirty face and pulled the thin blanket up over him. She couldn't go on like this. She knew her life was nearing its end. There was no way to stop death. She would greet death easily, without a fight, if only she knew that the boy would be safe.

But who could she trust? Who was sure to never turn to Voldemort's side? The Order of the Phoenix was gone, disbanded—or if not disbanded, then with few enough members to hardly be of any use in the fight against Voldemort.

At least he had not yet taken Hogwarts—and likely he wouldn't as long as Dumbledore was the headmaster. Perhaps that was her answer—Dumbledore. She would think on it.

The boy awoke and began to cry. The old woman leaned over and stroked his forehead.

"I hungy," whispered the boy.

"I know you are," said the old woman. "Sleep, now. Sleep, Neville."

* * *

><p>Severus leaned up against the wood of the door to his chambers. He wondered what he would find when he entered. Had Lily found a way out? Would she be gone? Had she found some sort of weapon despite his precautions?<p>

With a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped inside, locking it behind him for security even though Lily was chained. "Lily?" he called softly.

There was no answer. Severus walked down the short hallway to her cell. Sure enough, there she was, sitting with her back against the wall. The door was closed, but not locked, so Severus went in.

"Hello, Lily."

Lily did not acknowledge that she had heard him.

"Did you find anything to eat?"

Again, Lily ignored him.

"I'll make something for you, just in case," Severus said.

Lily said nothing.

Severus left and went into the kitchen. He stood there for a moment, then snatched up a pan and threw it with a clang to the ground in frustration. At that moment, he decided he was not going to cook that night.

He snapped his fingers twice, and a loud crack followed.

"Professor Snape called for a house-elf, sir?" said the annoyingly cheerful house-elf who snapped into view.

"Two plates of oyster with spicy vinaigrette sauce and apples," Severus ordered tersely.

The house-elf bowed. "Yes, Grib will do as Professor Snape asks. But Grib wonders—why does Professor Snape want _two _plates?"

"I'm particularly hungry tonight. And you have no place to question your superiors!"

Grib bowed again. "Professor Snape is right, of course. Grib will return shortly." A crack, and the house-elf disappeared. Severus sat down at the table and placed his head upon it.

What had he done? Kidnapping the woman he loved was hardly a way to win her heart. The house-elf rematerialized and placed two plates on the table in front of Severus. "Two oyster platters with spicy vinaigrette and apples, just as Professor Snape ordered."

Severus waved his hand. "Go."

With a crack, the house-elf disappeared.

Severus rose and composed himself. Then he scooped up the plates and went back to Lily. "Lily, sweet, I brought you some oysters—your favorite. Just the way you like them."

For one heart stopping moment Severus thought she would ignore him again, but then, slowly, she turned her head and looked at him. Her eyes were like ice. In a strong voice full of hatred, she said, "Oysters have not been my favorite meal since I was sixteen years old."

Severus took a step back.

"You presume to think you know me, Severus," Lily spat. "But you don't. You haven't known me since fifth year. It has been _six years _since then. I got _married._ I had a _child._ I _forgot _about you, Severus. Why can't you understand that I could never, _ever, _love a Death Eater like _you._"

"I'm not a Death Eater," Severus said quietly.

Lily rose to her feet, silver chain clinking against the ground. "Lift your left sleeve, Severus."

The way she said it made it impossible for Severus to refuse her. He rolled his sleeve back and offered his forearm for her examination.

Lily closed her eyes and turned away from him. "You lied to me. That says a lot about who you are—you have to lie even when you are in a position of power."

Severus shook his head. "You don't understand. I _was _a Death Eater. But my loyalties no longer lie with the Dark Lord."

Lily looked at him appraisingly.

Tears gathered in Severus' eyes. "Can't you see, Lily? I was never his, not from the moment he threatened your life. I _love _you, Lily. So much. In a way that you will never love me, and I understand that. But you are more than a love I can never have—you were the only real friend that I ever had. You were my _best _friend." Tears flowed freely from Severus' eyes now.

Lily looked unsure as to his truthfulness. She approached slowly and put her hand on his elbow.

At her touch, Severus choked back a sob. "When I told him the prophecy, I didn't know it would refer to _you._ When he told me, I was so afraid. I begged him to let you live—but he didn't promise, and it wouldn't have changed anything if he did. The Dark Lord does not keep his promises. So I went to Dumbledore. Dumbledore, I knew I could trust," Severus said in a voice that shook with emotion. "I was so scared for you, Lily. So scared."

His chest shook with racking sobs. Lily had a hundred thoughts running through her mind. None of them stood out for her to say. Instead, she took a step closer to Severus until she was standing just in front of him.

She reached up and put her arms around him, holding him close like a friend holds a friend when they need to cry. Severus dropped his head onto her shoulder. For a long moment they stood there like that. Then, slowly, Severus raised his arms and put them around Lily's shoulders.

Lily stood in his embrace until his sobs subsided, and then she drew away. She believed him. There was no doubt in her mind that he was telling the truth. Mixed feelings flooded her, compassion, disgust, lingering friendship, and pity.

* * *

><p>Fear was the underlying tone of the Lupin home. Stony silence filled the air, a silence neither Sirius nor Remus wished to break. Helplessness and a growing fear for Lily's safety blossomed in their stomachs.<p>

Sirius walked into Remus' bedroom. Remus was unsuccessfully trying to sleep as he hadn't for two days now. Sirius didn't say anything, but Remus still turned over to look at him as soon as he closed the door.

"I'm going to say something, and I want you to think a little bit before you say no." Sirius' voice showed how many times he had practiced saying this into a mirror.

Remus sat up and patted the spot next to him. Sirius flopped on the bed. "Okay," Remus responded, widening his tired eyes to wake himself up and giving Sirius his undivided attention.

"I want to go to Dumbledore."

Remus looked thoughtful. He opened his mouth to answer, but—

"Don't say no. He's the only one who can help us now. He knows everything that goes on. He has connections. He will help us despite our..._mild_ criminal records—I mean, as long as we tell him the whole story—"

"Sirius!" Remus interrupted Sirius' rant with this terse word.

Sirius looked at him.

"I was _going_ to say—I think that's a good idea. Dumbledore might be the only one who can help us find Lily."

Sirius' mouth fell open. "Not a word about how we're going to be exposed. Not a word about how dangerous this is. About how we might all go to Azkaban. Not a word?"

"No," Remus answered. "I just... Sirius, I'm scared for her. And Merlin knows, she's gone through enough hell in her life for a thousand people. If there is _anything _we can do for her, we have to do it. And we have to do it fast."

Sirius nodded. "It's decided, then."

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>Albus Dumbledore sat in his office, shuffling through papers. He glanced at the red-haired boy across from him. "Charles Weasley, I have seen you in this office more times than I care to count. I can't imagine that I shall ever have more of a trouble-maker around than you."<p>

Charlie grinned. "You haven't met my little brothers, Professor Dumbledore. Percy is all right, but my mum had twins two years ago. They're going to be a handful."

Dumbledore smiled. "We'll deal with that when we come to it. Meanwhile, I would like to discuss the complaints of several Slytherin students in your year regarding school-wide 'Levitate a Slytherin' days, 'Flick a Slytherin' days, and, my personal favorite, 'Hug a Slytherin' days. All fingers seem to point to you in regards to who is organizing these, er, _holidays._"

"Just trying to create inter-house...erm..."

"Humiliation?" suggested Dumbledore passively.

Charlie grinned again, this time a bit sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Professor."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "I trust that this will not happen again?"

"No, it won't," Charlie responded glumly. He brightened a moment later. "Hug a Hufflepuff Day?"

Dumbledore chuckled a bit. "As long as the Hufflepuffs consent to the hugging, I will overlook it."

Charlie got to his feet to leave.

Suddenly, the flames in Dumbledore's fireplace burned emerald green. Remus Lupin tumbled out of the fireplace. Before the two occupants of the room could react, the flames burned green again, and Sirius stumbled out onto the hearth.

Charlie's eyes widened. "Sirius Black!" he said in a hushed but carrying whisper.

"Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore began, not taking his eyes from the two men who were covered in soot on his hearth, "go back to your dorm and stay there. I would appreciate it if you would not tell anyone of this until I tell you otherwise. This is of the utmost importance."

"But, sir—"

"GO!"

Charlie scuttled over to the door. "Yes, sir," he said, before exiting.

Dumbledore had his wand on them before either man knew what had hit them. "Give me your wands with your off hand," he said, calm but demanding.

Sirius, who carried Lily's wand, reached for it with his left hand. "Your right hand, if you please, Sirius," Dumbledore corrected him lightly.

"Should've known you'd remember that," Sirius said with a smile. He handed Dumbledore his wand. Remus drew his wand with his left hand and dropped it to the ground.

"Now, I trust you have a perfectly good explanation for this," Dumbledore said, peering at them over his glasses.

"We do," Remus affirmed, meeting Dumbledore's eyes levelly.

Dumbledore gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. "Please. Sit."

The two men sat. "Remember the last time we were sitting here, Moony?" Sirius reminisced.

"Ah, yes, the Great Slytherin Common Room Redecoration Incident," Dumbledore said with the slightest hint of a smile.

"James was with us, then," Remus said. "And Pettigrew."

"Pettigrew?" inquired Dumbledore, clearly puzzled at the use of Peter's last name.

"It's rather a long story," Remus responded.

Dumbledore pressed his fingertips together and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "I have naught but time," he said.

"Unfortunately, we don't," Sirius said gravely. "Lily Potter has been kidnapped."

A frown creased Dumbledore's face. "By whom? I understood that it was _you,_ Mr. Black, that had kidnapped Lily Potter almost six months ago. Until, of course, she was discovered in a devious plot to break you out of your cell at Azkaban."

"That's where you're wrong, Professor."

"Mr. Lupin, is it then not true that Sirius was seen carrying Ms. Potter away from her home the night of the attack on Godric's Hollow?"

"He brought her directly to my home, whereupon I called the Aurors to pick him up. Lily was in a back room when they arrived. I had no idea that the Ministry thought her missing," Remus answered.

Dumbledore tipped his head to the side. "Hmmm. If it was you who turned Sirius in, then why did you proceed to assist in his escape?"

"When Lily awoke, she told me that Sirius was innocent."

"And you believed her?"

"Professor, her story made sense. They...erm...well, they thought that I was the spy. Not to mention that if all the evidence had not pointed to Sirius, I would have suspected Peter before Sirius."

"Hmmm." Dumbledore's voice betrayed no feeling, only consideration. "As would I, had I thought such a choice existed. Why didn't you try to tell the Ministry of Magic any of this?"

Remus glanced at Sirius. "We did."

"No record was made of it to my knowledge," Dumbledore said politely.

"It was never accepted as a believable report," Remus answered. "It was thought that Lily had been Confunded."

"Ah," Dumbledore said. "Let us say for the moment that I believe your story. Where do we go from here?"

"Well, that's why we came to you, sir. We don't know."

Dumbledore smiled. "Let's see if we can figure something out."

Sirius and Remus exchanged jubilant glances.

* * *

><p>"Lily? Where are you?"<p>

For one heart-stopping moment, Severus thought Lily might not be there anymore.

He breathed a sigh of relief when she called back, "In the kitchen!"

Severus hurried into the kitchen. Lily stood at a counter, cutting a roast beef sandwich in two with a carefully warded knife that Severus had allowed her to have. She separated the pieces on two different plates.

"I made dinner," she said matter-of-factly. She set the plates on the table and stepped back, putting a hand on her lower back and wincing.

Severus tipped his head. "Are you all right?"

"Mmmmm," Lily said in a sort of half-assent. "Sit. Eat."

She plunked herself heavily on a chair. Severus followed suit and pulled his plate toward him. "This looks delicious."

Lily nodded absently as though not paying much attention. "You're welcome," she said, not meeting his eyes, still rubbing her belly.

Severus frowned. "I hadn't thanked you yet," he pointed out with a touch of concern.

"What?" Lily asked, looking directly at him. "My back just hurts—which of course is normal in this stage of pregnancy—but it hasn't been quite this bad before. And then there's—" Lily stopped abruptly, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Go on."

Lily shook her head mutely.

"Lily, please, I want to help."

Lily took a bite of her roast beef sandwich and chewed and swallowed slowly. "I have cramps like it's about to be my time of the month, but...well, that wouldn't make any sense."

It was Severus' turn to blush at Lily's frankness. "Is that bad?"

"I don't know."

The pair ate for a while in silence.

"Severus? Can I ask you something?" Lily said quietly.

"Anything, my lo—Lily," Severus corrected himself.

"When can I go home?"

Severus blanched. "Can't you be happy here?"

"No. I really never will be," Lily answered honestly after a moment.

Severus got up and left the table.

* * *

><p>"Yes, someone definitely Apparated away from here in the last forty-eight hours," Dumbledore said, rising from where he was kneeling on the concrete in front of the corner store. He stowed his wand back in his robes.<p>

"Can you tell who it was? Or where they went?" This was Remus. Sirius, in dog form at Remus' feet, bobbed his head emphatically.

"Unfortunately, no," Dumbledore said, raising his hand and smiling to the Muggles who were throwing him some odd looks due to his attire. "Only the Ministry can track vague Apparition patterns. And those are faulty at best."

Remus looked crestfallen. "They wouldn't tell us anything even if they could." It was more of a statement than a question, but Remus let the end of the sentence linger upwards in hope.

"No," Dumbledore answered. "Not without asking questions. Questions we don't want asked."

Remus nodded slowly. "So, what now?"

"You've already asked the girl inside?" he reaffirmed.

"She hadn't seen anything. Said Lily left with a man right after the storm started."

Dumbledore pursed his lips. "Willingly?"

"Seemed that way to her, but that's no reason that it actually _was._"

Dumbledore sat on a bench outside the store. Padfoot sidled up next to him. Dumbledore absently scratched Padfoot's ears. "Whoever did this clearly knows who you are."

Remus looked confused. "How do you mean, Professor?"

"They knew you wouldn't go to the Ministry with this. That you were fugitives. Otherwise, the plan would not have been much of a success."

"Perhaps they were simply not very bright."

Dumbledore looked at him appraisingly. "The Lily Potter I know would not have been outsmarted by someone 'not bright' enough to cover their trail."

"She didn't have her wand on her," Remus pointed out.

"Even still," Dumbledore murmured, deep in thought.

* * *

><p>A scream shattered the nighttime stillness.<p>

Severus jolted awake. "Lily!" he shouted. He snatched up his dressing gown and ran barefooted down the stone corridor to where Lily was sleeping.

Lily lay curled on the floor, holding her stomach and crying.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Severus demanded, panicked. "What's happened?"

"My...my...water broke," she whispered.

Severus was shocked. "Why is there blood?" he asked, voice shaking, indicating the pool of pinkish-red fluid that was staining her nightgown.

"Something's wrong," Lily answered, voice so quiet that Severus almost felt like she wasn't talking to him. "It's too soon."

"What do we do?" Severus asked.

Lily met his eyes weakly. "I have to get to a hospital, Severus. Please."

"Lily, I...can't."

Lily's arms tightened around her stomach. She set her teeth, but to no avail. A scream ripped itself from her throat. She lay there, whimpering a bit and catching her breath. Then, again, "Please. Severus. Help."

Severus looked torn. "I can't lose you again!" he exclaimed.

"Come here," Lily whispered, curling one finger at him.

Severus knelt by her side and took her hand.

"I need to get to a hospital, or my baby might die. _I _might die."

"I can help you. I can save you."

Lily, cheeks already wet with tears, began to cry in earnest. "Severus, please! I can't lose another child!"

Severus' eyes darted back and forth.

"Oh, no," Lily breathed, clenching her stomach again. "Not again."

Severus closed his eyes against her scream, somehow making it clearer rather than blocking it out.

Lily calmed her convulsions. Her voice was rapidly losing audibility. "Severus, please. My friend. Please, I beg of you. Help me. Help me as you weren't able to help my husband and son. Help my daughter. Please."

"Daughter?" Severus asked, mouth dry. "It's a girl."

Lily nodded. "Yes, a girl. Her name is Clara."

"Clara."

"Help her, Severus."

Severus was crying now, too. "Promise I won't lose you again?"

Lily's hand caught his forearm weakly. "I promise." She'd have said anything.

Severus scooped her up in his arms and carried her through the quiet halls of Hogwarts and to his study. He lit the fireplace with his wand and threw in a pinch of Floo Powder.

"St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries," he said softly, and stepped into the flames.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! I would love to know what you're thinking of the story so far! Drop me a review._


	5. Of Hospitals and Prisons

Chapter 5. Of Hospitals and Prisons

Dumbledore opened the door to his office for Remus and Sirius. Once they were safely inside, Sirius retransformed. Remus collapsed into a chair, exhausted from hours of searching the city for traces of Apparation. Sirius, on the other hand, looked more mutinous than tired.

"She's probably dead, you know," he said suddenly, leaning against the mantel of the fireplace and staring into the flames.

"Sirius!" exclaimed Remus in shock.

Sirius glanced at him, surly. "What? She's been gone for two days, almost three, and we have _nothing _left to work on. She's dead."

Remus looked aghast. "You can't give up."

"There's nothing else to do, Merlin take it—" Sirius' voice was getting louder.

Dumbledore, who had been watching the proceeding quietly, spoke up. "You should get some sleep, Sirius. Perhaps something to eat, as well."

"What good will _that _do?" demanded Sirius, voice rising several more decibels.

Remus blinked, in that moment realizing how tired his eyes were. "He's right, Padfoot. Neither of us have slept in going on two days. We can't keep this up forever."

Sirius snatched up a mug from the mantel and hurled it to the floor, where it shattered into many shards of ceramic. "We can't just _sleep,_ for Merlin's sake, she's _out there, _she's _kidnapped_, she's bloody terrified! We can't _sleep,_ Remus."

Remus got slowly to his feet and put his hand on Sirius' arm. Sirius turned to look at him and met his eyes defiantly for a long moment. Then, slowly, he cast his eyes down and relaxed his stiff pose. Quietly, Remus said, "Sit," and indicated a chair.

Sirius sank into the squishy chintz chair. Remus waved his wand to repair the mug Sirius had smashed.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Sirius said, voice guardedly calm. "I shouldn't have lost my temper."

Dumbledore smiled. "That's quite all right," he answered warmly. "If you'd like to lie down..." he offered mildly, gesturing to a nearby sofa.

"No, that's all right," Sirius responded. "Perhaps, though...a bite to eat?"

"Of course," Dumbledore said, and snapped his fingers smartly.

There was a popping noise, and a house-elf materialized before them. "What can Grib get for Professor Dumbledore?"

"Padfoot?" prodded Dumbldore. "What can Grib get for you?"

"Anything," Sirius answered. "It doesn't matter."

"Remus?"

"Bring me whatever you bring him," Remus responded.

The house-elf smiled broadly. "Grib will get sirs oysters. Professor Snape likes the house-elves' oysters very much."

Sirius scoffed. "Snivillus? A professor?"

"A recent hire," Dumbledore answered mildly. He looked slightly puzzled. "Severus doesn't seem like the type to send a glowing response back to the kitchens, though. How do you know he likes oysters, Grib?"

Grib smiled again. "Professor Snape orders _two _plates of oysters with spicy vinaigrette from Grib last night, Professor Dumbledore. He _must _be liking of them."

Remus looked up. "Spicy vinaigrette?" he repeated, suddenly alert.

All the other occupants of the room turned to him expectantly.

"Maybe it's an over-reaction, but oysters with spicy vinaigrette and apples used to be Lily's favorite meal. Until James tried to make it for her."

Sirius laughed hollowly. "He gave her food poisoning, didn't he? She spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, throwing it up."

"And she hasn't eaten it since," Remus added, a smile lighting his face, the first genuine one in what felt like forever.

Dumbledore cut in. "Did you ask him _why_ he ordered two plates of it, Grib?"

"Grib asked, but Professor Snape says he was very, very hungry," the house-elf responded.

Sirius' eyes flashed. "Remember in our seventh year, Moony, when Severus came on to Lily outside Potions class?"

"You mean the time he had her pressed up against the wall, lips smashed against hers?" Remus clarified unnecessarily, looking murderous. "I remember."

"I remember thinking: _He would do anything to get his hands on her._ I remember thinking that he might..."

"What?" Dumbledore demanded, livid.

"...kidnap her," Sirius finished, eyes narrowing.

The three men leapt up and ran from the room, Grib staring after them with wide eyes.

* * *

><p>"Somebody help me!" Severus shouted over Lily's intensified screams. Within moments, several Healers had lifted Lily from his arms, speaking short, incomprehensible things to each other as they rushed her down corridors and up lifts. Severus followed, blood staining his dressing gown and trying not to panic.<p>

"...losing blood fast..."

"...pregnant..."

"...Maternity Ward..."

"...late-term miscarriage?..."

"...no, early birth..."

"...know how long she's been like this?"

Silence.

With a start, Severus realized he'd been addressed. "Er...not more than a half an hour. I think."

The Healer frowned. "Why did it take so long to get here?" he demanded.

"It was my fault," Severus blurted, but the Healer was no longer listening to him. They had arrived at an official-looking metal door.

A different Healer put out his arm and Severus tried to get the door. "Are you her husband?"

Severus shook his head mutely.

"Then you'll have to wait out here." He started to pull Lily's gurney through the door, but she put out a hand and gripped the doorway to stop herself. She lifted her other hand and weakly grasped the front of his robe.

"I want him...with me," she said shakily. "I don't want...to be...alone." Her breath was coming short.

The Healer who had tried to block Severus' way spread his arms. "You heard her," he said, holding the door open.

* * *

><p>"Snape!" shouted Remus, banging on the Professor's rooms' door. "Alohamora! Alohamora!" The door remained locked.<p>

"Snape!" screamed Sirius, losing control. "Open this door! This minute!"

"Step back." This was Dumbledore, eyes fiery as the other two had never seen before. With a loud BANG, the door blew off its hinges and into the far wall.

Dumbledore swept inside. "Lily?" he called.

The three men practically tore apart the rooms. Sirius headed down a back hallway and stopped short. "Remus!" he called. "Over here!"

Remus came over. "What?"

"I found a cell," Sirius said, still taking in the scene. "There's blood here. On the floor." Fear rose in his voice.

"He wouldn't kill her," Dumbledore said calmly from behind them. "He loves her."

Remus frowned. "I found her locket over there," he said, displaying it. "She's not wearing a glamour anymore."

"She's also not _here,_" Sirius said angrily, violently kicking the stone wall, then clutching his foot, gritting his teeth in pain. "We're back to square _bloody _one."

"Nonsense," Dumbledore said. "Now that we know who she's with, we'll find him and find her."

Dumbledore went to the fireplace and took a handful of Floo Powder out of the fireplace. He called out "The Ministry of Magic, Floo Regulation," he said, and placed his head in the fire.

Remus and Sirius could hear him talking. "I wonder if you wouldn't mind telling me the destination of the person who used this fire previously to me?"

Silence, then,

"Thank you," said Dumbledore cordially, and he pulled his head out of the fire. "St. Mungo's," Dumbledore announced calmly.

Remus was white as a ghost. "Is she having the baby?" he asked breathlessly.

Sirius shook his head. "No. It's too early for the baby to be born."

Remus took him by the arm. "It doesn't matter. Let's just go."

* * *

><p>Severus clutched Lily's hand in his own. She was panting heavily. Sweat stuck her red hair to her forehead. Severus reached over and pushed it aside. She offered him a ghost of a smile for this act of kindness, before another contraction rushed upon her and she screamed.<p>

A Healer was telling her to push, but she shook her head. "No," she breathed. "No, it's too early. No."

Severus gripped her hand tighter. "Come on, Lil. You can do this."

Lily shook her head hard, fighting back tears. "I can't Severus. I can't. Not without James. I can't."

"Yes, you can, Lily," Severus responded. "You're strong. You _can._"

Still Lily shook her head.

* * *

><p>"<em>Come on, sweetheart, you heard the Healer," James whispered in her ear. "Push. Please, sweetie."<em>

_Lily whimpered. "It hurts," she said quietly._

"_I know," James said stupidly. At Lily's reproachful glance, he amended, "Well, no, of course I don't—how could I? I just meant...I meant..."_

_Lily smiled weakly. "You adorable man," she said. She let out a yell as another contraction racked her body._

"_Come on, love. For our baby. For Harry. For Harry James Potter." That did it. Lily screamed..._

* * *

><p>"I can't raise this child alone," Lily whispered, barely audible. Her greatest fear.<p>

Severus thought about that one for a moment. "You won't be alone. You have Black and Lu—Sirius and Remus, I mean."

"Will you help me, Severus?" her voice was softer still, mouth pressed to his ear. Severus wasn't even sure he had heard her properly.

Yet still he answered her. "Of course. Of course I will. For Clara, now. Come on."

"What did you say?" Surprise radiated from Lily's voice.

"For Clara," Severus repeated. "For your baby."

Lily closed her eyes. "For our baby, James," she whispered, and screamed. Loud. Bloody murder, even.

"That's it!" the Healer yelled. "One more! Good job!"

Lily laughed, suddenly riding a high. "Can you get her to shut up, Severus?" she asked. "Trying to have a baby, over here."

Then, with an almighty moan, she contracted her stomach muscles one last time.

* * *

><p>Sirius and Remus burst through the fireplace. Sirius thundered over to the Welcome Witch. "Maternity Ward," he half-yelled at her.<p>

She drew back. "Third floor," she answered, eyes wide in fear. The two men barreled away, leaving her saying to the room at large, "Does anyone have an owl? We have to alert the Ministry at once! Sirius Black!"

Remus and Sirius sprinted up the staircase, wands in hand. Sirius reached the landing first. He grabbed a Healer by the front of his lime green robes and growled, "Where's Lily Potter?"

"Who?" the Healer asked in confusion. "Oh, you mean the woman who came in earlier today? You the husband?"

Sirius paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes at the man. "Yes," he lied convincingly. "Where is she?"

"Just down that hall," the Healer responded. "Fourth door on the left."

Sirius let go of him and wheeled down the hall, Remus close at his heels.

"Congratulations!" the Healer called after them, slightly disgruntled at this treatment and straightening his robes.

Sirius waved a hand in response.

Another Healer, this one female, was standing outside the room that Lily was in. She raised her wand and barred their way. "Only family through here," she said. "Relationship to the patient?"

"I'm her husband," Sirius said, again displaying his remarkable acting skills. His voice was breathless and entirely believable.

The Healer jerked her head to motion him inside. Remus put his head down and tried to follow quietly, but the Healer stopped him. "And you?" she asked.

Remus' brain raced. Then a wicked thought ran across his brain. "I'm the father," he said, putting on an appropriately shameful face.

The Healer looked taken aback, glancing from Remus' face to Sirius' and back to Remus'. Both men regarded her levelly.

She relaxed. "I don't even want to know," she said in a helpless tone. "Go in."

It was a small, white room with a window that had been enchanted to look out over a pleasant garden. A single bed jutted out from one wall. But Remus' and Sirius' eyes were drawn instead to the occupant of the bed.

Lily lay there, early morning sunlight streaming off her dark red, sweaty hair. She looked positively angelic in her white hospital gown. She cradled a precious pink bundle in her arms. "Sirius, Remus," she greeted quietly, voice the first thing that betrayed her exhaustion. She held out her free arm. Remus rushed to slip into her embrace, taking care not to crush the child she clutched to her chest.

Sirius hugged her next, sparing a malicious glance at Severus, who had retreated from Lily's side to the corner when the two men entered. When he stepped back, he curtly greeted, "Snape."

"Black," Severus answered in the same tone. He nodded sharply to Remus. "Lupin."

Remus tipped his head but offered no greeting.

Severus eyed the two men warily. They were eying him with such loathing that he was sure, if a Healer was not posted on guard just outside, that he would be being dismembered by this time.

Sirius gritted his teeth, and, unable to hold his tongue any longer, snarled, "You son-of-a-b—"

"Sirius," Lily put in warningly, nodding her head at the sleeping child in her arms.

"Banshee," Sirius finished without missing a beat, sparing a fleeting smile for Lily before his face returned to a murderous glare. "How dare you kidnap my best friend's wife? How dare you harm a pregnant woman? How dare you demolish our family?"

Severus met his eyes levelly. "I was wrong to do what I did," he said quietly.

Lily reached for Sirius' arm, but was unable to snag it. "Sirius, there's something you should know before you do anything stupid—"

"I know all I need to."

"No, you—"

"Lily, he hurt you. He could have killed you."

Lily frowned. "No, he didn't cause this. The early birth, I mean. He didn't hurt me."

Remus shook his head angrily. "Don't be stupid, Lily, you're going to try to convince me that you broke your _own _lip in two?" he asked, gesturing to her cut lip.

"That was an _accident_!" Lily looked confused for a moment. "Well, sort of, but— Remus, _stop_!"

For Remus was now advancing on Severus as well.

"Stop, both of you! He's on _our _side!" Lily begged, desperately keeping her voice low to avoid detection.

"Lily, he _lied._"

"Stop!" as Lily's voice rose, the little child in her arms began to cry. Loud wailing filled the room.

Remus paused. "Sirius," he said, almost pleading, yet somehow warning as well. "Stop. We won't do any good if we raise a ruckus."

"Moony, he—"

"I know what he did, Padfoot. Now shut up and sit down."

Sirius held his rebellious pose. Lily tried desperately to calm the crying child, but Clara wouldn't be consoled. "Sirius," she said quietly.

"What?" he demanded irritably, still looking as though he'd like to rip Snape limb from limb.

"Would you like to hold her?"

Sirius looked shocked. He nodded dumbly, then stepped over and awkwardly took the little girl from her mother's arms. Clara quieted a little, now only making a half-humming, half-whining sound. Sirius felt his heart melt in two.

"Her hair is so black," he marveled, pulling the blanket a little aside to see it better. "And her eyes...?" he looked questioningly at Lily.

"Hazel," Lily said quietly.

"Like James," Remus muttered, stepping closer to see for himself.

Silence filled the room.

Suddenly, all the occupants of the room froze as a chilling voice shouted. "They went in here, Auror! Hurry! Sirius Black!"

"Lily, your locket!" Remus exclaimed, plunging his hand into his pocket. But to no avail. The door circled open with a thud.

Aurors flooded into the room, all shouting orders at Sirius and the other occupants of the room. Remus and Sirius flung their wands to the floor. The shouting quieted.

"Long time, no see, Black, Lupin," said the voice of Mad-Eye Moody in a comfortable, conversational tone. "Seems like only yesterday I was reading you your rights. Now I get to do it again, I guess, with a few more impressive charges to add to the list. Sirius Black, you're under arrest for treason, conspiracy to commit the murders of James and Harry Potter, kidnap of Lily Potter, assaulting a Healer, and evasion of justice. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defense if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you say may be given in evidence. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?"

Sirius made a show of carefully handing Clara back over to Lily, then offered his hands for Moody to bind, which he did with a muttered, "_Incarcerous_."

"I understand my rights," Sirius said quietly. "Do I at least get a trial this time?"

Moody shrugged indifferently. "Makes no difference to me, Black. Lupin, Potter, you're both coming as well. Boys."

A terrified looking young Auror stepped over to the bed where Lily lay, her tears held back firmly. "Y-y-you're under arrest for aiding and abetting a criminal, and evasion of justice," he said. He read Lily her rights, to which she nodded. "Hold out your hands," he said.

Lily gave him an icy glare. "My hands are a little full," she said coldly, cuddling Clara to her chest.

The boy looked at Moody for help. He waved his hand airly. "Let her hold the child. If she runs, she's putting the kid in danger of our spells."

"I won't run," Lily said, lifting her chin. "I've done nothing wrong."

"Certainly," Moody answered amiably. Then he gestured angrily at the boy towards Remus. "Get on with it, boy, him too."

Remus received the same charges as Lily, and willingly let himself be bound.

"What about Professor Snape, sir?" asked the boy, looking positively terrified at the idea of arresting his old Potions professor.

"No," Moody answered. "The professor's done nothing wrong."

Severus rose from his seat. "Can I go with them, Auror Moody?" he asked respectfully.

Moody shook his head. "Sorry, Snape, they're headed to Ministry lock-up," he answered. "Visiting hours start at ten, and it's only six-thirty."

"Not Azkaban?" Sirius asked with remarkable self-control in the face of his worst fear.

Moody looked at him. "You can thank Dumbledore for that one, Black," he said. "By Merlin, that man doles out second chances like those lemon drops he always seems to carry."

Despite the goings-on, Remus chuckled slightly.

"Glad you're amused, Lupin," Moody growled.

* * *

><p>Lily winced as the metal bars clanged shut behind her. She clutched Clara carefully to her chest, rocking her back and forth.<p>

Sirius and Remus were gone, led off to the men's side of the Ministry lock-up. The guards on duty had _thoughtfully _provided her with a private cell so that she could breastfeed her newborn, but Lily suspected that Dumbledore was behind this, as well. She wished she had been allowed to change out of her hospital gown before she was arrested.

"Lily," said a quiet voice, wrenching her out of her revere. Moody stood outside her cell. Lily half-smiled at him, testing the waters.

"Hello, Alastor," she greeted softly, bouncing her precious little bundle up and down. "Forgive me, but I doubt this is a social visit. What's happened?"

"By the time I got back to my office, there was an owl from Dumbledore on my desk," Moody answered, lowering his voice even more. "Said you were all innocent, that I should avoid you going to Azkaban at all costs. But I don't understand it, Lily."

"We switched Secret Keepers," Lily said quietly. "It wasn't Sirius at all. It was Pettigrew."

Moody nodded. "You thought there was a spy."

"We _knew _there was a spy. We just didn't know who."

"And you just happened to accidently stumble upon him in your choice of Secret Keeper?"

Lily smile ironically. "In my defense, it _was _Sirius' idea."

"You should have been more careful," Moody said reprovingly. "Constant vigilance, you know."

Lily smiled at this restatement of Moody's old motto. "Yes, I know."

"Good." Moody's magical eye swung in its socket as he focused on the pink blanket wrapped snugly around Clara. "Cute kid," he said gruffly.

Lily pulled the blanket aside unnecessarily so that he could see her face better. "Isn't she, though? She's small and early, but the Healers said she's a real fighter," she said quietly, pride in her voice.

"She's got Potter's hair," Moody pointed out.

Lily smiled down at the child. "Yes, his eyes, as well," she said warmly.

"She looks like you, though," Moody said. "Especially the nose. What did you name her?"

"Clara," Lily said, stroking the baby's face as she slept. "Clara Alice Potter."

Moody nodded, looking like he was about to say something, but then footsteps could be heard ringing down the cold stone corridor.

"Go," Lily said quickly. "You don't want to be seen talking to me."

Moody offered her a smile through his many scars, then swept away. Lily settled down on the cot in the back of the cell, back resting against the wall. "Good to know there's someone on our side, isn't it?" she said, cooing softly to Clara. The little baby opened her hazel eyes and blinked a few times at Lily.

Lily smoothed the child's abundant amount of black hair and began to sing, softly.

"_Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,_

_All through the night,_

_Guardian angels Dad will send thee,_

_All through the night._

_Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,_

_Hill and dale in slumber sleeping,_

_I my loved one's watch am keeping,_

_All through the -"_

CLANG.

Lily looked up sharply as the door to her cell was flung open. In stepped two uniformed guards and a small, toad-like woman wearing a cardigan of the absolute ugliest color of green that Lily had ever seen. She raised her eyebrows at the woman.

"Hem, hem," said the toady. "I am Dolores Jane Umbridge, Junior Undersecretary to the Minister and Head of the Department of Magical Social Services."

Automatically, Lily tucked the blanket more firmly around Clara and hugged her tightly to her chest. "Social Services?" she repeated, feeling fear and rage rising in her chest. She struggled to keep it down.

"Yes," answered Umbridge with a nasty smile. "The Minister of Magic has decided that you are not to be allowed custody of, erm..." she flipped through the paperwork that she carried with her, but seemingly could not find the name of Lily's child. Lily remained unhelpfully silent. "Of, erm... your child...for the duration of your trial."

Lily shook her head. "You can't take her from me."

"It's not up to you, dear," Umbridge said in a patronizingly slow voice. "We will place her with a suitable family—"

"What family?" Lily demanded. "Tell me."

Umbridge sniffed. "That has yet to be determined," she said.

"Well, I get to choose, don't I?"Lily asked, suddenly remembering something. "Unless I've been arrested for abusing her, I get to choose where she's placed."

Umbridge ground her teeth. "That is a law, yes."

Lily thought swiftly. "Molly and Arthur Weasley," she said firmly.

"The Weasleys? They can hardly afford to feed their own children."

"I'll reimburse them after I've been acquitted," Lily answered coolly.

"Rather cocky, isn't that?" asked Umbridge.

Lily offered her a fake smile. "No. I've done nothing wrong."

"You _are _delusional. Give me the child. I'll see to it that he gets to the Weasleys," Umbridge said briskly.

"She," Lily corrected quietly. "And, no. I'll hand Clara over to no one but Molly Weasley."

Umbridge glowered at her.

* * *

><p>"LILY!" screamed Sirius at the door to his cell. "LILY!"<p>

"Sirius," said Remus from behind him. "Shut up. Lily can't hear you. She's in an entirely different wing."

Sirius turned around, looking distraught. "We can't lose her again, Moony," he said.

"We'll see her at our trial, I'm sure," Remus answered, trying his best to remain calm for his friend.

"You're scared, too, aren't you?" Sirius demanded, seeing straight through Remus' guise. "You're scared, but you're trying not to be 'cause you're afraid that if you admit it that we'll both just collapse into a pile of hopelessness that we'll never get out of."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Did you say that all in one breath?" he asked, trying to use his light sarcastic humor to switch the direction of the conversation.

"Don't do that, Moony."

"What?"

"Change the subject!"

Remus sighed. "You know me a bit too well, I think."

Sirius only looked at him.

"Yes," Remus said quietly. "I'm scared."

Sirius' face crumpled. "I can't go back to Azkaban, Moony. I can't take it."

Remus got up from his seat on the cot, and put his arms around his friend. "I know."

"You can't know!" Sirius whispered. "I kept seeing his face, over and over, knowing I caused his death, knowing it was all my fault, knowing he was dead for good..."

Remus pulled away and shook Sirius slightly by his shoulders. "Padfoot. It was _not your fault. _And I'm not going to let you wallow in self-pity right now. In case you haven't noticed, all three of us are knee-deep in dragon dung and the last thing we need is _you _going AWOL."

Sirius looked indignant. "I am _not _wallowing."

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, fine," Sirius admitted, shaking Remus' hands from his shoulders. "What are we supposed to do about this?"

"I don't know." The helplessness in Remus' voice scared even himself.

* * *

><p>"Just this way, Molly," Lily heard from the corridor. She got to her feet and approached the bars of her cell, swaying back and forth to avoid waking Clara. She smiled. She was sure that Harry hadn't been this quiet as a baby.<p>

A plump woman with bright red hair, in contrast to Lily's dark red locks, came into sight. To Lily's pleasant surprise, Arthur was accompanying her. They were alone besides a guard who was posted just down the hall.

"Molly," she greeted warmly, stepping up to the cell door. "Arthur. Thank you for coming."

"Lily, sweetheart, what have you got yourself into? Dumbledore sent us an owl this morning saying Sirius was innocent. Is that true?" Molly was exactly as Lily remembered her.

"I shouldn't explain it all, now," she said with a nervous glance at the guard, who had not been present when Moody visited her. "But yes, it's true."

Arthur looked Lily up and down. "Are you all right?" he asked. "Have they been treating you well?"

"As well as they treat every other suspected criminal," Lily quipped with a bright smile.

Arthur would have continued on this topic if Molly hadn't put in, "Why did Umbridge ask us to come here, Lily?"

"She didn't tell you?" The two blank faces looking back at her answered her question easily. Lily nodded awkwardly toward Clara, still sleeping peacefully in her arms.

Molly noticed for the first time that the pink bundle in Lily's arms was more than a blanket. "Ooooh," she cooed. "Such a pretty little girl."

Lily smiled at the praise. The smile quickly faded at the thought of what she would have to say next. "I...they...Umbridge won't let me...won't let me keep her during the trial," Lily said, fighting desperately to remain in control of her tears.

"Oh, Lily," Molly whispered, reaching her hand through the bars to grasp Lily's arm.

Lily felt a tear on her cheek and knew she was rapidly losing control. "They let me...they let me choose who she would go with...And I thought, with the Order...and all your experience raising children...maybe you wouldn't mind...?" A sob escaped Lily's throat.

Molly was crying now, as well. Arthur also extended his hand and placed it on top of his wife's. "Of course," he said. "Until you've been acquitted."

"If I _am _acquitted," Lily whispered, admitting her fear.

"Now, now," Molly said comfortingly. "Do you think, that with Dumbledore on your side, there will be any other outcome?"

"There's a war on," Lily sniffled. "People are scared."

Arthur smiled, though even his eyes looked suspiciously bright. "Trust Dumbledore, Lily. We'll all be pulling for you."

"Thank you, Arthur. Molly," Lily whispered. Then, gathering her resolve, she raised her voice. "Guard!"

The man came over.

"Open the door, so that I can..." Lily paused, "give my child to her temporary caretakers."

The guard narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He glanced at Arthur, who nodded, confirming Lily's truthfulness. He took his keys from his belt and unlocked Lily's door. It swung open with a creak. Lily placed a kiss on Clara's forehead, then, with a sense of foreboding, gently placed Clara in Molly's open arms.

Lily could feel her heart break. The steel door slammed shut again. Lily reached through the bars and, tears streaming down her face, caressed Clara's black locks. The child opened her eyes and gazed curiously at Lily.

Lily wiped away her tears. She realized dimly that Moody had been right. The color of Clara's eyes were unmistakably the exact shade of James', but their shape was more like almonds—like Lily's. Most of Clara's other features were like Lily's, as well, as much as a baby's features could look like anyone's.

"Little one," Lily whispered. "Go, be strong. I'll see you again soon, hey?"

Clara blinked a few times at her. A ghost of a smile played on the baby's lips. Lily smiled back.

"Mummy loves you, Clara," Lily said softly. Then she wrenched her gaze up to Molly's face. "You should go now." Oh, and Lily had thought her heart had broken _before_. An intense pressure settled in on her chest, crushing her heart, pulverizing it into little pieces. Lily was sure it would be pounded into dust by the time Molly and Arthur reached the end of the hall.

With murmurs of encouragement, Molly and Arthur turned and left the lock-up area, Molly's eyes glistening. She heard Clara start to wail at being separated from her mother.

Lily watched them go for as long as she could. Then they turned a corner. Lily dragged in a breath, shocked at how difficult it was with her child out of sight. She closed her eyes and turned away, wiping her cheeks and refusing to shed more tears. Clara was safe. That was all that mattered for now.

"James, you'd be proud of me," Lily said bitterly. "Just look at the dragon dung I've got myself into. More trouble than even _you _ever managed."

She shook her head, trying not to think about James any more.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Happy 2015, everyone! I hope everyone's new year is going well so far. I got the chapter up a bit later than I'd hoped. I had pretty solid every-other-day thing going on, but that went out the window this time. Nonetheless, I'm trying to get as much written and published as I can before I head back for second semester, when posting will necessarily be a little less frequent._

_Encouragement or concrit in the form of a review would be very much appreciated!_


	6. Trials and Tribulations

Chapter 6. Trials and Tribulations

_CLANG._

Lily shot awake, rubbing sleep from her eyes as the door to her cell slammed open.

"Get up," said a rough guard's voice.

"Why?" Lily demanded, putting her feet on the floor, still bare, the way she'd been brought in.

The guard ignored her. "Put these on," he said, throwing a set of robes at her.

Lily caught them, and, again, demanded, "Why?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the guard sarcastically and angrily. "Someone higher up thought you might like to go to trial in something other than a hospital gown that doesn't close in the back. Apparently they were wrong."

Lily started to change immediately. "Trial?" she asked. "I thought...I thought it wasn't until this evening."

"It _is_ evening, you idiot," said the guard, sounding bored. "Hurry up."

Lily felt her stomach turn to stone inside her and plummet. She fastened the plain brass clasp on the robes and straightened them as neatly as she could. Dimly she noticed that they were wrinkled and smelled stale. She snorted and did her best to smooth them.

Lily drew her mind back to the task at hand. She felt something start to run up her esophagus and quickly swallowed, immediately feeling nauseated. Her mouth tasted of bile. She hoped she didn't vomit in court.

"Hold out your wrists," the guard said lazily, bored. Lily complied. "Incarcerous." Ropes spun around Lily's arms, binding them firmly together. "Let's go."

Lily was led down the cold, stone passageway and up a flight of stairs. "Where are we going?" she asked her guard.

"Courtroom Ten," the guard answered ominously.

Lily nodded, feeling sicker. The way he said it made it sound like she was marching to her death. She began to wonder what the punishment was for breaking someone out of Azkaban. Could she get the Kiss for it? Or just a life sentence in Azkaban, reliving the worst moments of her life until she went insane?

Lily again had to swallow as bile rose in her throat. The guard led her down a long flight of stone steps. They were steep, and Lily couldn't use the handrail because her hands were bound together. Lily started to put her hands on her guard's arm for support, but her shrugged her off, nearly sending her tumbling down the stairs.

The corridor at the bottom of the steps was lit by sporadic torches, casting a spooky, flickering light on the walls and causing shadows to dance and jab at Lily as she walked by.

The guard stopped abruptly, putting out a hand to stop Lily as well. "In here," he said, opening the door.

Lily stepped inside. Hundreds of frowning faces turned to face her as she was marched to the middle of the circular room. Three chairs stood there, two already occupied. Lily cast her eyes on their inhabitants. "Hello, Sirius, Remus," Lily said quietly. "Are you all right?"

Sirius, in the middle chair, smiled thinly. "Never been better. Moony?"

"Better now I see Lily's all right," Remus answered, face sickly pale. Sweat dotted his brow and circles were under his eyes.

Lily wondered vaguely when the next full moon was. She sat down. The chair's chains clanked a few times threateningly before rushing in and snapping around her wrists. Lily felt another pair bind her ankles against the chair. Someone Vanished the ropes holding her hands together, and she separated them, placing one hand on each arm of the chair.

"Where's Clara?" Sirius whispered.

"Safe," Lily whispered back.

"Where?"

Bartiamus Crouch, sitting up in the judge's box, banged his gavel against the wood. "All right," he said loudly. "Enough chit-chat among the criminals."

"_Suspected_ criminals, Bartiamus," said a quiet voice from the corner. A shadowy figure stepped out into the light in the middle of the courtroom.

"Dumbledore!" exclaimed Crouch. "Why aren't you in your seat? Where are your Wizengamot Robes?"

Dumbledore smiled lightly. "Today, Bartiamus, I will not be sitting with the Wizengamot. Tiberius Ogden is _very _kindly sitting in for me." The little man in the second row waved cheerily, and Dumbledore nodded acknowledgement. "No, today I prefer the role of Witness for the Defense."

Crouch spluttered. "They don't need one, Dumbledore! They're guilty!"

"I'm sorry," Dumbledore said cordially. "I'm afraid I was under the impression that the trial to determine their guilt had not even begun. I'm sure the defendants themselves would be shocked to learn that their fate has already been decided."

"They don't even deserve a trial," Crouch said angrily.

"You remember our conversation with Minister Bagnold yesterday morning, do you not?" Dumbledore inquired. Crouch mumbled his assent, looking murderous. "Then surely you will also recall her explicit instructions to give these three a _fair _trial."

Crouch grumbled under his breath. "Yes, I remember," he said finally.

Dumbledore smiled. "Very well, then," he said happily. "Shall we begin?"

"Very well, very well. The charges," Crouch said, shuffling through some papers and pulling one out. "The charges against the accused, Sirius Orion Black, are as follows: that he did knowingly, deliberately, and in full awareness of the illegality of his actions, commit treason, conspire to commit the murders of James and Harry Potter, kidnap Lily Potter, assault a Healer, and evade justice for his crimes. Sirius Orion Black, how do you plead?"

"Not guilty," Sirius said clearly. Muttering broke out among the crowd.

One voice stood out, saying, "How _dare _you?"

Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but at a warning look from Dumbledore, he subsided.

"The charges against the accused, Remus John Lupin, are as follows: that he did knowingly, deliberately, and in full awareness of the illegality of his actions, aid and abet a criminal and evade justice for his crime. Remus John Lupin, how do you plead?" Crouch stared at Remus with intensity.

Remus met his eyes. "Not guilty," he answered quietly.

The Wizengamot was silent now.

Crouch was reading faster. "The charges against the accused, Lily Elizabeth Evans Potter, are as follows: that she did knowingly, deliberately, and in full awareness of the illegality of her actions, aid and abet a criminal and evade justice for her crime. Lily Elizabeth Evans Potter, how do you plead?"

Lily smiled slightly. "Not guilty," she said, her voice ringing through the silent room.

Crouch was turning red. "How can you tell such a blatant lie? Aurors place all three of you on a broom, escaping from Azkaban prison on the _very day _that I had given you security clearance to be there," he said angrily to Lily.

"I freed an innocent man, Mr. Crouch," Lily answered him. "So of course I did not aid or abet any _criminal_, did I? And as for evasion of justice, if I had done nothing wrong, then no justice was due to me, anyhow."

"Innocent?" asked a little man in the front row. "How can that be?"

"Yes, Elphias," Dumbledore stepped in. "Innocent. Sirius Black is no traitor."

"He was the Secret Keeper, Albus! That was common knowledge!" Crouch said, voice rising.

Lily started to speak, but Dumbledore put up a hand. "That is where you err, Bartiamus," he said. "Sirius was never the Potters' Secret Keeper. They switched, you see. They knew a traitor was in their midst, so they switched Secret Keepers so that the spy would still think it was Sirius. They put their faith mistakenly in the hands of the wrong person. A serious mistake—" Dumbledore's lip twitched, but he didn't smile at his accidental pun. "—but not a criminal one."

"And who might this mysterious and quite _handy _traitor be?" Crouch demanded. "I suppose you shall refuse to tell me."

"Of course not," Dumbledore said brightly. "It was Peter Pettigrew."

Murmuring broke out again. "Can anyone attest to that?" asked a plump witch several rows back.

"I can," Lily said angrily.

Crouch looked at her coolly. "Your word is hardly worth much in this matter, Potter," he said. "You're also a suspected criminal. You would most certainly benefit from Black's acquittal."

"The only other one who knew about the switch and isn't a traitor is my husband, James," Lily said fiercely. "And you might have some trouble contacting him." Emotions stirred, but she stomped them firmly into the pit of her belly. She had no time for them now.

"What about Pettigrew himself?" Crouch asked.

Dumbledore coughed. "His location is unknown," he said. "Ms. Potter's word is the best you have now, I'm afraid. I'd be happy to bring in people who know her personally to vouch for her credibility, if you like. She was top of her class at Hogwarts, and Minerva McGonagall has never run out of praise for her."

Crouch looked angry. "I haven't got time to listen to such things! There's a war on, Dumbledore!"

"I am aware of it. Perhaps even...a childhood friend? If one happened to be handy?"

"What are you going on about, Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore gestured to the door. "Severus Snape is standing outside in the hall, awaiting the verdict of the trial. I'm sure he would be more than happy to vouch for Lily's character."

Crouch sighed heavily. "Fine. Make it quick."

Dumbledore turned and opened the courtroom door. He had a short, quiet conversation with someone outside, then the door opened wider and Severus stepped in.

"The court recognizes Severus Snape, former Death Eater," said Crouch, eyes narrowing spitefully.

Dumbledore scowled. "May the court also note that Severus is now most definitely on the side of the light," he said softly. "Severus, do you recognize this woman?"

"Of course," said Severus. "This is Lily Ev—Lily Potter."

"How long have you known her?" Dumbledore inquired.

Severus looked up at the ceiling, thinking. "A little over eleven years," he said.

"And, during that time, have you ever known her to tell a lie or deceive anyone?"

Severus shook his head. "No, of course not."

"Of course not," Dumbledore repeated quietly. "Thank you, Severus, I think we've heard all we need to."

Severus spared a quick smile for Lily before stepping out of the courtroom.

"Was that quick enough for you, Bartiamus?" Dumbledore inquired mildly.

Crouch ground his teeth angrily. "Yes, Dumbledore," he answered tersely.

"Very well, then, let's move on, shall we?" Dumbledore said with a smile. "The other charges against Sirius Black: kidnapping Lily Potter. I think Lily will attest that when he removed her from her house it was entirely consensual?" He looked at Lily for confirmation.

Lily nodded.

"We have an eyewitness that says Potter was screaming as he took her away," Crouch said.

Lily's eyes narrowed angrily. "Did you listen to him telling you _what _I was screaming?" she demanded. "I'll refresh your memory. I was screaming the names of my dead husband and son, Crouch. Screams of _grief_, not fear."

"I shall summon the witness in question, if you wish this story confirmed," Dumbledore offered helpfully.

Crouch glowered. "I want this over with _tonight_, Dumbledore!"

Dumbledore smiled happily. "Then you accept Ms. Potter's testimony?"

Crouch made a strangled sound in his throat, and then stiffly nodded.

"Good. The next charge," Dumbledore said. "Assault of a Healer, I believe? I have spoken with the Healer in question, and he does not intend to press charges."

"It doesn't matter, Black still assaulted him," Crouch said. "It is illegal to assault a Healer! Worthy of five years in Azkaban!"

Sirius leaned over to Remus and whispered, "Sweet Merlin, if I get cleared of everything else and spend time in Azkaban for grabbing the front of a bloke's robes..." he trailed off.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore said, "The Healer, when I questioned him, said that he has a worried husband do worse to him every day. I _insist _that if Sirius is sent to Azkaban, that _all _of those men are rounded up as well."

"There could be _hundreds, _Dumbledore, or _thousands,_" Crouch snarled.

Dumbledore nodded. "Perhaps more," he said gravely.

"Mr. Crouch," said a balding wizard in the second row of the Wizengamot. "I think we'd all like to be back to our families before midnight."

There was a murmuring of assent, some voices annoyed. Lily heard a sharp voice whisper, "Why doesn't he just have a vote on it, already?"

Crouch, who had obviously heard as well, said, "There are still more charges to address."

"Well, that's quite simple, really," said Dumbledore. "If Mr. Black is innocent of the other charges, then no justice was due to him, so evading it should not be a problem. Likewise, he is not a criminal, so Mr. Lupin and Ms. Potter in no way aided a criminal. They aided a friend. Therefore, the two of them are likewise not subject to justice."

"You want me to simply clear them of all charges?" Crouch said in disbelief. "Let them walk out of here as though nothing has happened?"

"Oh, no, Bartiamus, I expect nothing of the sort. The Wizengamot will do that. I simply ask you to call a vote. The defense rests," Dumbledore said softly. Lily caught her breath. It had gone so quickly.

"Very well," Crouch said resignedly. "Those in favor of conviction of Sirius Black on the count of treason?" He put his hand in the air. Lily looked around. Several other witches and wizards had their hands in the air, about half. Lily tried to count, but Crouch moved on too quickly. "The count of conspiracy to commit murder?" Many of the same wizards had their hands in the air, again, not nearly close to half. Crouch looked mutinous. "Kidnap of Lily Potter?" he said. Almost no one raised their hands. "Assault of a Healer?" Crouch looked desperate, hand firmly in the air.

Lily almost laughed. Crouch's hand was the only one in the air. "Evasion of justice?" The same wizards who'd voted to convict Sirius of treason and conspiracy lifted their hands. Lily tried again to count.

"Those in favor of clearing the defendant, Sirius Black, and both of his compatriots, Remus Lupin and Lily Potter, of all charges?" he said. His voice was quiet, as though he was hoping that some of the Wizengamot would not hear.

Lily glanced around, trying frantically to count the hands in the air. She glanced at Sirius, who was also trying to count, his lips moving as he muttered the numbers. Lily snaked out a hand, reaching toward him as far as the chains would allow. Sirius noticed the motion and reached out his hand as well. They were able to grip each other's fingers, just barely. Lily squeezed. Sirius smiled at her, returning his attention to counting the hands in the air.

"Very well," said Crouch softly, face unreadable. "Twenty-two in favor of conviction, and twenty-four in favor of clearing the defendants of all charges."

Lily's heart soared. "Does that mean...?" Lily heard Remus whisper from her far right.

Crouch set his teeth. "Black, Lupin, and Potter, you each have been cleared of all charges."

The chains that bound Lily, Sirius, and Remus to their chairs released them with a loud clanking sound. The three stood, for a moment not knowing what to do. Then, Lily flung herself into Sirius' arms. Without quite knowing how, Remus was entangled in their hug as well.

Lily felt something wet on her neck, and realized that Sirius must be crying. She stepped back and wiped his eyes. "You're crying," she whispered.

"So are you," Remus pointed out. Lily reached up to her face and wiped her cheeks.

"I don't care," Lily said happily. "We're free."

And so, the three-part embrace resumed.

Someone in the Wizengamot started to clap. Before long, the entire crowd was applauding. "Oh, for Merlin's sake!" exclaimed Crouch. He stormed from the room.

"Let's go home," Lily whispered to Sirius and Remus.

Dumbledore approached them, smiling. "There is a car waiting to take you back to Remus' house," he said.

"Wait," Lily said, eyes widening. "We have to go to the Weasley's first."

Sirius and Remus looked puzzled. "Why?" Remus asked.

"They have Clara," Lily answered shortly. "Professor, can the car take us there, first?"

Dumbledore's smile widened. "There shouldn't be any need for that," he said warmly. "Clara and her guardians are waiting for you at your home."

Lily beamed. "Let's go!" she practically yelled at her two friends. "Come on!" And with that, she took off at a dead run through the door of the courtroom.

Remus and Sirius glanced at each other before thanking Dumbledore profusely and following Lily. From out in the hall, they heard Severus ask, "Lily, what—?"

"Cleared!" Lily sang. "All of us, cleared of all charges!"

Sirius and Remus burst into the hall.

"Lupin, do you mind telling me—?" Severus started again.

Remus didn't pause. "No time, Snape," he called jovially over his shoulder, Lily's spirit getting to him. "Lil won't hesitate to leave without us!"

Snape shook his head, but smiled despite himself.

* * *

><p>"Fred, George, get down from that sofa," Molly Weasley chided. "This isn't the Burrow, dears, that's a place where some like to sit rather than jump, believe it or not. And Percy, darling, those books aren't yours. Didn't you bring your own along to read?"<p>

Without waiting for an answer, Molly went back into the kitchen, bouncing the black-haired newborn in her arms softly.

"Ah, Molly," said Arthur Weasley, who was cradling one-year-old Ginny in one arm. "I was just about to call you. Is the stove supposed to be smoking?"

Molly set her teeth to avoid shouting. "No, Arthur," she snarled. "It's not. Take it out immediately."

The front door opened loudly. Molly stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Lily!" she exclaimed happily. "How did it go, sweetheart?"

"Cleared," Lily beamed. "All of us." Then her eyes gravitated from Molly's face to the child in her arms. "Clara!" she said, smile widening even further.

Molly carefully handed the blanket-swaddled treasure to her mother. Lily swayed back and forth happily, whispering words of love and elation at their reunion. She turned away from Molly, all conversation forgotten.

Molly smiled at her, and then turned to Sirius and Remus. "Boys," she said warmly, enveloping them in a hug. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, Molly," Remus said. "You didn't have to go to all this trouble."

Molly smiled. "No trouble at all, Remus, darling," she said. "Well, it would have been nice if we could have gotten a sitter for the children," she admitted quietly, "but we haven't been able to get one since the last one left with smoking hair..."

Sirius suppressed a snigger.

Molly either didn't notice or didn't acknowledge it. "It's the twins," she explained. "They're very...Well, they mean well, anyway. I think."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Let me guess," he said, looking over Molly's shoulder. "It's the twins' idea of a good joke to take soot from the fireplace and smear it all over their little brother?"

Molly whirled around. "Fred! George! Stop doing that to Ron at once!" She stormed away.

Remus and Sirius glanced at each other, trying not to laugh. While Sirius went to see if he could help Arthur in the kitchen, Remus followed Lily to the corner of the room, where she was cuddling Clara to her chest and cooing softly. The baby girl was watching Lily with wide hazel eyes and gripping her finger tightly.

Remus sat down. "She's beautiful, Lily," he said. "James would be very proud."

"I think he is," Lily said, glancing upwards.

Remus was quiet.

* * *

><p>"And <em>then,<em>" Sirius continued, trying desperately to keep from laughing, "he doesn't say 'I'm her brother,' or anything else appropriate like that, no. He says 'I'm the father!' That poor Healer just looked between us at a total loss..."

All the occupants of the dinner table who were old enough to understand what had gone on laughed uproariously. Remus was blushing.

"It was the best I could come up with on short notice," he defended.

Lily calmed herself visibly. "Oh, Moony," she said. "We _are _going to have to keep an eye on you, aren't we?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" demanded Remus with a grin.

Lily just laughed happily.

"Mr. Black?" said a small, cordial voice. Sirius jumped slightly at being addressed as 'Mr. Black' and turned to look at Percy. "C'n you pass the rolls, please?"

"Of course," he said. "But only if you call me Sirius. Or Padfoot works, as well." Percy nodded. "That goes for all of you," Sirius said to Fred, George, and Ron.

Percy accepted the bread basket. "Thanks, Mr. Bl—Sirius," Percy hastily corrected himself.

Lily smiled at him. "I think Remus and I second that. You can use all of our first names," she said. "Remus sometimes goes by Moony."

Fred looked at her, puzzled. "Why don't you have a nickname, Lily?" he asked.

"I never let James and his friends give me one," she answered firmly. "Thank Merlin, I wouldn't want to be saddled with some of the things they were suggesting."

"Like what?" George asked, grinning.

"I think 'Bambi' was among their favorites," Lily said.

The children looked blank.

"It's a Muggle fairy tale character," Lily explained. "A deer. I think Remus coined the term."

Remus flushed again. "I didn't think about it," he said. "I just commented that your Patronus looked like Bambi."

"I don't blame you, Remus," Lily said, grinning slightly. "Padfoot used it most, anyways."

Sirius shrugged. "I _liked _that nickname," he said.

Lily stuck out her tongue at him, making the children laugh.

Molly smiled. "You did get up to quite a lot at school, you two. Professor Dumbledore always came to Order meetings with a new story to tell about the four of you," she said with a laugh.

"What did they do, Mum?" Fred and George were grinning as wickedly as four-year-olds could.

This inspired the start of a round of storytelling.

"I'll go check on the girls," Lily said, referring to Ginny and Clara, who were sleeping in Lily's room, Clara in her new crib, and Ginny on Lily's bed with pillows all around the edges so she wouldn't roll out.

By the time Lily returned to the table, the chatter and laughter about old times and old pranks had died down.

"By no means are you two," Molly was saying to Fred and George, "allowed to replicate any of this during your time at Hogwarts.

"Yes, Mummy," the twins said at the same time, smiling innocently.

"How are the girls, Lily?" asked Arthur.

"Still sleeping," Lily said.

Sirius looked at her, remembering something. "Lily, when are you going to tell us who the godfather is?" he asked.

"As soon as I decide who is going to be godfather, I suppose," Lily answered as though the thought hadn't struck her mind, despite the fact that she'd been worrying about the issue for several months.

Sirius looked confused. "Surely it's going to be Moony," he said.

"Padfoot," Remus interjected quietly, "I may not be the best person for the job. Considering the...circumstances."

"Nonsense, Moony, your furry little problem doesn't stop you from being a good godfather. You'd be excellent! Better than I was!"

The Weasleys were looking a bit uncomfortable, as though they'd rather be anywhere else during this conversation.

"That's not the only thing to consider, Sirius!" Lily said, voice rising. "James and I had a plan! Our first child's godparent would be _his _best friend, and our second child's would be mine! It was supposed to be Alice!"

"Alice isn't here!" Sirius pointed out heatedly.

Lily's eyes flashed angrily. They stared at each other for a long moment, eyes heated with rage.

Percy, Fred, and George were following the proceedings with interest if not much understanding. Ron, on the other hand, was entirely uninterested. He yawned hugely.

Molly jumped on this opportunity. "The kids are a bit tired," she said. "We'd better get them home to bed. Thank you for having us!" All the Weasleys got up to leave, Molly tugging at Fred and George, who seemed to want to stay to watch the show.

"See!" Lily exclaimed angrily. "You're running off our guests!"

"No, no," Arthur said nervously. "The kids are just tired. I'll go collect Ginny, Molly."

Sirius subsided, realizing how uncomfortable the Weasleys were. He tried to convince them to stay, but their guests had heard enough.

"Thank you for taking care of Clara, Molly," Lily said as the Weasleys were getting ready to Floo home. "And for the lovely dinner."

"You're welcome, Lily, dear," Molly said, kissing the younger woman's cheek. "Clara is a pleasure. Anytime you need our services again, you know where to find us."

"And the same goes for you," Lily said. "If you ever need a day off from those twins of yours."

Molly laughed. "Oh, I wouldn't put you through the twins," she said. "I'm not sure our friendship would survive if you had to spend an evening with _them._"

"Nonsense," Lily said, smiling. "You just let me know."

Molly hefted Ron into her arms. Ron's head was lolling to the side as he slept. She picked up some Floo powder. "Well, good night, Lily," she said. Then, with a cry of "The Burrow!" she disappeared.

Lily sank onto the sofa, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to her. Sirius sat next to her. "I think the three of us need to talk," he said seriously.

"Yes, we do," Lily said. "Promise not to start shouting again?"

"I'll try," Sirius said. "Where's Remus?"

"With Clara, in my bedroom," Lily answered.

Sirius stood. "I'll go get him."

"No," Lily said suddenly, also standing. "I want to talk to him first. Alone, if you don't mind."

Sirius was surprisingly gracious about this request. "Of course," he said.

Lily nodded to him and slipped past him down the hall. She opened the door to her bedroom. Remus was sitting at the end of Lily's bed, watching Clara sleep in the crib on the wall opposite the bed. He glanced up when she came in.

"I've always enjoyed watching babies sleep," he said quietly. "She looks peaceful, doesn't she?"

Lily made a small noise of assent. She settled next to him on the bed.

"I should apologize," Remus said. "Because I know Sirius won't."

The corners of Lily's mouth quirked up. "No, he won't. But you don't have to, either."

Remus didn't answer.

"It's not just that you're a werewolf, Remus," Lily said quietly. "There are more things to consider. If it was just a question of taking her out for ice cream in Diagon Alley when I've said she can't and offering to beat up everybody who breaks up with her, then you'd have the job in a heartbeat. But it isn't." Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and sighed, hating to go on.

Remus took her hand and tipped her chin towards his, forcing her to meet his eyes. They were warm and full of understanding.

Lily steeled herself. "There's a war on, Remus. You-Know-Who is killing Muggles and wizards alike every day. He's taken over most places, all but the Ministry and Hogwarts. There's a chance—a larger than average chance—that we might not all live to see Clara come of age," she said, a tear leaking from her eye. She glanced at the sleeping form. "If something were to happen to me, her godfather would become her guardian. Sirius was a good choice because he could support Harry...well, you know...financially."

"But I can't get a job," Remus said, voice bordering on bitter. He was no longer looking at Lily, instead he was picking at a hole in Lily's quilt.

"No," Lily agreed. "You can't."

"It's the werewolf thing too, though," Remus said. "I'd pose a danger to her, every month. Every full moon I'd have to send her away. That's no life."

Lily put her hand on his arm.

"I always knew I'd never be a godfather," Remus said. "It would be irresponsible for me to accept. But it didn't stop me from wishing."

"I'm sorry, Remus," Lily said.

Remus shrugged, and offered her a rather good attempt at a smile. "Shall we go discuss this with Sirius?" he asked, trying to sound bright. "Or would you prefer to decide on your own?"

"No," Lily said. "I value your input. I consider both of you as surrogate fathers for her."

Remus' smile was genuine this time. "Be sure to mention that to Sirius," he said. "Several times. He'll like it."

Lily laughed and pulled on his arm. The best part about living with Marauders was that there could be tears one minute and laughter the next.

* * *

><p>Severus Snape sat at his desk, grading first years' papers. What had possessed him to take this job? They were all dunderheads, every last one of them. He chuckled slightly as he scrawled a 'P' in red ink across Charles Weasley's essay.<p>

A knock sounded suddenly at his door. Severus took a moment to consider. It wasn't Minerva's knock, hers was much sharper. And it certainly wasn't like Albus to even bother with such a courtesy. Who else would brave the Potion Master's dungeons? Surely not a student!

He stood and strode across the room, pulling the door open.

"Lily!" he exclaimed. "Come in, come in! Have a seat! Oh, no, not that one," he hastily added as Lily made to sit in the chair he kept especially uncomfortable to dissuade visitors from staying long.

"Evening, Severus," Lily said, accepting the more comfortable chair he conjured for her and sitting down gracefully.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Severus asked, still trying to calm himself.

"I have a request for you," Lily said.

Severus shook his head in disbelief. "Anything, Lily. Merely name it."

"I wouldn't be so quick to accept," Lily said, her eyes twinkling. "It is something rather—well, you'd probably prefer to hear it first."

"I will do whatever you ask of me, Lily," Severus assured her. "I have yet to make up for...kidnapping you."

Lily waved a hand impatiently. "It's forgotten," she said.

Severus' eyebrows shot up.

"Well," Lily amended, "Perhaps not forgotten. But forgiven, at least, in light of the fact that you _also _saved my life and Clara's."

Their eyes were locked.

"I also must thank you for helping us at the trial."

Severus' mouth was dry. He licked his lips, then responded, "You're welcome."

No one said anything. Lily looked down, pretending to be interested in the vials of potion that sat on Severus' desk.

"Lily?" said Severus after a moment.

Lily looked back up. "Mmmm?"

"You came here to ask me something."

"I did," Lily agreed.

Severus tipped his head and raised his eyebrows. "Shall we get on with it, then?"

Lily nodded. She gathered her breath. "I'd like you to consider being Clara's godfather."

Severus felt his heart stop. He blinked a few times. He had to force himself not to look over his shoulder to make sure that there was no one else she might be addressing. _ME?! _he wanted to scream. But he didn't, of course. He didn't want her to reconsider.

"Do Black and Lupin know about this?" he asked, buying himself time.

Lily sighed. "Yes. Remus was skeptical at first, but he came around. Sirius...well, he used a long stream of words that I'm not comfortable repeating. He's still trying to wrap his head around it, but he gave his...what he called a 'half-blessing.' Who knows what that means?"

Severus made a non-comitial noise. _Why on earth does she want _me_? _he thought to himself. _I _kidnapped _her!_

Lily looked worriedly at his face, which was bland and revealed nothing about the way he was feeling.

A desperate yearning filled Severus' heart. To have such a connection with Lily was something of which he had always dreamed. But it was not Lily alone to whom he would be committing himself, but also to a child. A child! Who in their right mind would give him such a place in a child's life?

"Yes, Lily. I will be Clara's godfather." Severus started slightly. Had that just come from his mouth?

Lily smiled approvingly and offered her right hand.

The enormity of what he was agreeing to swept over Severus. He was agreeing to a lifetime of responsibility for a child he hadn't even fathered. He was swearing to be kind to her, protect her from harm, provide guidance for her, to care for her if Lily were ever to be unable. To love her.

Severus reached out and gripped the hand of his childhood friend firmly.

Lily withdrew her hand from Severus' grip. "Thank you, Severus," she whispered quietly. "I can sleep more easily now."

She looked incredibly tired. Severus looked back on the day she'd had and did not blame her one bit. "Are you Apparating home, or Flooing?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

Lily tipped her head in confusion at this sudden question. "Well, I Apparated on my way here," she said.

"I insist that you Floo home," Severus said. "You're too tired to Apparate. The last thing I need is you Splinching yourself tonight."

Lily, who Severus had expected to be highly affronted, merely smiled. "You are going to be a good godfather, Sev," she said. "If only you can remember who your charge is."

Severus' heart was glowing so much at her use of the pet name she hadn't used since fifth year that he didn't even acknowledge her condescension.

* * *

><p>"So Lily Potter has made you her child's godfather?" Voldemort's eyes glittered maliciously, though his voice betrayed no feeling.<p>

Severus bowed. "Yes, my lord," he answered. _You foul, evil fiend, _he added in his mind, carefully shielding the thought from Voldemort.

"Does she _know _that you were the one to tell me the prophecy?" Voldemort asked.

"She does."

"And she has forgiven you?"

"Yes, my lord."

Voldemort chuckled. "An almost Dumbledore-worthy incident, that," he said. "Well, it is of no consequence. In any case, it has set you higher in the esteem of the Order."

"The Order of the Phoenix has all but disbanded," Severus told him. "There are few enough members left that they can't make much trouble anymore. The deaths of Gideon and Fabian Prewett were the last straw."

Voldemort frowned. "Are you sure that there are no hidden ranks? I would not care to be surprised."

"My lord," Severus began, "Dumbledore trusts me unequivocally. He believes that I still house a desperate love for Lily Evans."

"And do you?"

_Yes. _"No, my lord."

"I am glad of your position in Hogwarts, Severus," Voldemort said. "We shall take the school soon enough."

"And what of—" Severus' voice broke. "What of Dumbledore, my liege?"

Voldemort narrowed his eyes and smiled slightly. "He shall meet his end."

Severus bowed his head.

"Now go, Severus. It wouldn't do to have Dumbledore questioning your whereabouts."

Severus backed out of the dark room, bowing as he went.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) So we leave our friends in a more or less good place this chapter, but they've certainly got more troubles ahead of them a la Voldemort. Stay tuned! Thanks to all for reading, and a special thanks to those who've reviewed so far!_


	7. The Boy Who Disappeared

**Warning: **There's some violence in this chapter.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 7. The Boy Who Disappeared<span>

The doorbell rang at around ten o'clock the next morning, loud and shrill, wrenching Lily from her sleep. Clara began to cry at the noise, having never heard it before. Lily thumped her head on the pillow, praying that whoever was at the door would leave.

The doorbell rang again, longer this time. Clara's crying intensified. Lily pulled herself out of bed, donning her slippers and robe. She reached into Clara's crib and hugged the baby to her chest. "Hush, now," she whispered, opening the door to her bedroom and going towards the front door.

The bell rang for a third time, this time draining on for several seconds before stopping. "Yes, yes, I'm _coming_!" Lily exclaimed at the door.

Footsteps thundered down the stairs. "If it's that Muggle mailman, lost again, I'm going to do something I'll regret," Sirius was muttering. Then he caught sight of Lily, trying to console Clara.

Lily carefully handed him the child and briskly opened the front door.

There, on the doorstep, stood a pretty young woman with elaborately curled blonde hair. A crocodile-skin bag hung over her shoulder. In her hand she clutched a notebook bearing the design of a quill and letters spelling out 'Daily Prophet Reporter.' In her other hand she clutched a brand-new, acid green quill.

"Erm, hi," said the girl, eyeing the scene before her. Lily was looking at her, eyebrows raised, while Sirius did his best to console Clara, who was rapidly calming. "I'm Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet Reporter."

Lily still said nothing, merely tipping her head in a _What's-your-point _type of motion.

"Erm," the girl started again. "I was hoping for an interview..."

"Why?" asked Lily.

Rita looked desperate. "Because I have to get off the cosmetics page!" she exclaimed. Then she bit her lip, looking slightly ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry," she immediately apologized. "I meant, I'd like to get an insider's look at the true Sirius Black and his friends."

Lily looked hesitant.

"Oh, let her in, Lil," Sirius said from behind her. "I wouldn't want to write for a cosmetics page, either," he added to Rita.

Lily opened the door further, still eyeing the girl like she was an insect. "Do you want Remus, as well?" Lily asked stiffly. "I can wake him."

Seemingly for the first time, Rita took in the tousled appearance of the two adults in the room. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's all right," Lily responded, shaking herself slightly and trying to figure out why she took such an immediate dislike to the young blonde. She headed down the hallway to get Remus out of bed, despite the fact that Rita hadn't asked her to. She wanted someone else sane present.

Once they were all settled at the kitchen table with cups of tea in front of them, Rita opened her notebook and placed her quill on the page, where it balanced ominously.

"You have a Quick-Quotes Quill?" Remus asked, looking a bit envious.

Rita nodded, smiling shyly. "My mum got if for me for my birthday," she said.

"You said you wanted to talk about Sirius?" Lily prompted.

"Yes, erm..." Rita flipped open her notebook to the first blank sheet of parchment. "Mum said you have to test the Quill. Erm...testing...my name is Rita Skeeter, junior _Daily Prophet _reporter." The quill immediately sprang into action:

_**Stunning blonde Rita Skeeter, eighteen, who shows incredible promise in the field of reporting—**_

"Stop!" Rita said firmly to the quill. "It always does that, I don't know why."

Lily, Remus, and Sirius were all looking at her with mingled expressions of mistrust and slight amusement.

"Right, well. Let's get started. Mr. Black, how do you feel about the entire Wizarding community believing, until yesterday, that you were a traitor and kidnapper?" Rita seemed more in her element now, gazing avidly at Sirius.

"Er—" started Sirius. "I suppose they had every right to. I mean, Lily and James and I were the only ones that knew about the switch of Secret-Keepers."

Rita tipped her head, her eyes now alight with a curious fire. "Yes, but how did you _feel_?"

Lily was watching the quill as it skated across the paper:

_**Black's devilishly handsome face is unsuited to hiding the pent-up rage inside him as he struggles to avoid answering a question that might bring him to tears—**_

Lily glanced at Sirius, who was still trying to explain that he harbored no ill will for the community at large. She tried to see any pent-up rage inside him, tilting her head from side to side.

"Ms. Potter, you look incredibly confused by Mr. Black's statements. Perhaps you have a different story?"

"What?" Lily asked, glancing at the blonde. "No, no, he's telling the truth."

The quill splashed a tiny dot of ink on the table with its furious writing:

_**Potter's face shows obvious signs of recent Memory Modification. Perhaps the accusations of one Bartiamus Crouch could have foundation in truth, something which surely the Auror Office should look into—**_

"Miss Skeeter," Lily said, gazing into the girl's eyes. "Control your quill."

Rita glanced down and read what the quill had been recording. "Sorry," she said. Lily narrowed her eyes. Quite apart from her original apologies of waking them up, Rita did not seem the least bit ashamed.

Remus stepped in hastily, trying not to laugh at the bordering-on-murderous look on Lily's face. "Is there anything you'd like to ask _me_, Miss Skeeter?" he asked.

Rita smiled. "Of course, Mr. Lupin. You are a registered werewolf at the Ministry, and therefore quite unable to get a job. You are financially dependent on Black and have been for some time. It was he, for example, that paid for you to get this house, as the records indicate."

Remus' expression was stony.

"He didn't _ask _me for that money," Sirius said. "I was just helping out a friend."

Rita was still watching Remus, who met her gaze evenly.

"I'm waiting for a question," Remus said.

"Did you break Mr. Black out of prison for the money?"

Remus stared at her. "Pardon?" he asked, sure he hadn't heard correctly.

"Did you assist in Mr. Black's escape from Azkaban so that you could continue to lean on him financially?" Rita rephrased.

"No," Remus answered, voice shaking slightly from his anger. He glanced at the quill as it furiously wrote:

_**Although Lupin denies the charges the beautiful Ms. Skeeter brings against him, his answer is unconvincing. He feigns deafness at first in order to buy himself more time and his voice shakes with hidden emotion as his eyes well up with unshed tears—**_

"How _dare _you?" Lily demanded.

Rita looked as innocent as she could. Lily's eyebrows contracted angrily. Sirius and Remus had similar expressions of extreme dislike on their faces. She glanced at the quill, which was still furiously skating across the page:

_**All three almost-convicts have the look about them of someone insane. Anyone in their presence would fear for their safety. Perhaps, then, it was unwise for them to be released from, if not an eternity in Azkaban, then at least some mandatory treatment at St. Mungo's—**_

"Get out," snarled Sirius.

Rita deflated. The aura about her as she had interviewed them subsided. "I'm sorry," she apologized, sounding sincere at last.

Lily rose and, juggling Clara to her left arm, walked to the front door and opened it.

Rita, seeming cowed, got up obediently and slipped her notes and quill into her bag, snapping it shut loudly and scurrying toward the door.

"And, Miss Skeeter?" Remus called as she was about to leave. The girl whirled on her heel to face him. His expression was demure. "That kind of writing may be acceptable on the Cosmetics page, but when you are writing for other aspects of the paper, it is considered misrepresentation."

Rita nodded mutely.

"You should get a new quill," Sirius advised.

A flash of anger crossed Rita's face, which she quickly hid. "Yes, well," she said. "The editor says we ought to write a story that people will read, never mind—" She quickly stopped.

"Never mind the truth?" Lily supplied, voice quiet, controlled, and incredibly frightening.

Rita turned tail and fled down the walk.

Lily shut the door. She cradled Clara back and forth in her arms. "You can choose whatever career you want," she said to the little face. "But you can't be a reporter. Reporters are nasty."

Clara blinked curiously up at her mother.

Sirius heaved himself up from the table. "That's going to be an interesting article to read," he said tiredly. He yawned. "What time is it?"

Remus glanced at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. "Nearly noon," he responded.

Sirius sighed. "Too late to go back to bed, then, I suppose. I'm going to get dressed," he said, heading back towards the attic stairs.

Lily sank down in his unoccupied chair. "Remus," she said heavily. "Can't our lives be a little boring for a while?"

"Probably not," Remus responded. A tap at the window brought Remus to his feet to collect the paper from the delivery owl. "Oh, look, the news of our acquittal has reached the papers." He tossed the paper to Lily. She caught it clumsily with one hand.

**BLACK CLEARED!**

**Black and his two compatriots successfully plead their case to the Wizengamot!**

Lily scanned the article. "Makes us sound like a bunch of heroes," she said. She continued reading. "It says the community 'calls for the return of Auror Black to the squad.' Sirius wasn't an Auror, was he?"

"No," Remus responded. "He expressed some interest in it in school, but towards the end he decided to put more of an effort into the Order. Gotta love the press for trying, though."

Lily nodded absently. "Do you think he wants to go be one? He probably could, with all this positive press."

"I dunno," Remus responded, disappearing into the kitchen to pour himself more tea. "You'd have to ask him. The way I figure it, the Ministry is not going to be able to hold up against Voldemort very much longer. Being an Auror might eventually turn into being a Death Eater."

"The same could be said for any Ministry job, I suppose," Lily said, wistfulness in her voice.

Remus caught her tone. "Do _you _want to go back?" he asked.

"I don't know," Lily said. "I was less than a year into the Unspeakable training period. I didn't get much experience. I hadn't even chosen a Project yet."

"Well," Remus reasoned. "I can't see any reason why you shouldn't go back to work. I mean, the Ministry hasn't fallen _yet._"

Lily smiled and glanced down at Clara, who was suckling on her finger happily. "I can think of a reason," she said pointedly.

"Maybe when Clara's older, then."

Lily looked downcast. "Maybe. I hope...Remus, I hope things stay the way they are. But  
>I don't think they will. Not with Voldemort everywhere. Not with us out of hiding."<p>

"Maybe it won't be so bad," Remus said. At Lily's skeptical look, he defended, "Hey, I'm an optimist."

Lily laughed.

Loud thundering came from the stairs. Sirius emerged from the hall. "What's so funny?"

"You, Padfoot," Remus said with a grin. "We're always laughing at you."

Sirius approached the table. "Don't be a prat, Moony," he said. He knelt next to Lily and stroked Clara's face and directed his speech to her. "Who's a pretty little princess?"

"Me," Remus said dryly, taking a seat.

Sirius sent him a murderous glance.

"Well, I'll go get dressed, now," Lily said. She stood and handed Clara to Remus, saying, "Have a kid."

Remus rocked the baby back and forth. "Look at you," he cooed softly. "So tiny. So beautiful."

Lily smiled fondly at the two men bent over her child and disappeared into her room to change clothes.

* * *

><p>"Pleasant to see you, Lily."<p>

"And you, Professor," Lily responded, sipping the tea she had been offered.

"Call me Albus, please, Lily," Dumbledore said kindly.

"Albus," Lily tried. "I'll try to remember."

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Mostly to thank you for what you did for us at the trial," Lily said. "We could not have done it without you."

"I very much doubt that," Dumbledore said. "You had truth on your side. I merely expedited the process."

"Well, thank you," Lily said.

"You are very welcome," Dumbledore said. "I also, have something for you. Something I borrowed from you many months ago and have not had the chance to return..."

Dumbledore held out the silvery fabric.

"I don't want it," Lily said firmly. "Use it for the Order, give it to someone—anyone—who'll have use for it. I don't want it."

"It is yours—"

"No, It was James's," Lily corrected. "And I don't want it."

Dumbledore set it down. "Very well. I will keep it for someone who may later have need of it." His eyes twinkled.

Lily narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "Fine. I don't want to know who."

"You will know in time, anyway," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Now, I think you said that you wished 'mostly' to thank me with this visit. What is your second order of business?"

Lily set aside her tea and leaned forward earnest. "I deserve to know," she said. "I deserve to know why Voldemort came to our cottage that evening."

"As I told you when I sent you into hiding, Voldemort was searching for Harry," Dumbledore said.

"But _why?" _Lily asked. "What was the prophecy? The exact wording?"

"It is of no consequence," Dumbledore said. "What it spoke of will not come to pass. The world has taken a different course."

"I want to know," Lily said.

"I will not tell you," Dumbledore said.

"Why not?"

Dumbledore looked sad. "I fear, Lily, that the knowledge may destroy you."

* * *

><p>Sirius meandered down Diagon Alley. He knew it wasn't wise to linger on the streets in troubled times like this, but today was a special day. His first day of freedom. There were two things he had to do today, and both of them had been a long time coming.<p>

But first things first.

The bell tinkled on the shop that he chose to enter.

"Hello, Mr. Ollivander," he said. "I'm here to buy a wand."

* * *

><p>On Saturday evening, Severus Snape sat in his classroom, arranging lesson plans for the next week. He kept glancing at the clock, hoping each time that he had been working long enough to warrant quitting for the night. He wanted to go over to Lily's again to see Clara, as he had been doing at least twice a week for the past month.<p>

Alas, when he checked the clock every few seconds, time moved slower and slower. Several times, Severus got up to check that it had not been tampered with.

He let out a long sigh as he wrote directions for Monday morning's first years on the blackboard.

"Forgetfulness Potion," said a thoughtful male voice from the door. "Aren't your first years forgetful enough already?"

Severus jumped slightly and whirled to look at the newcomer. He glared. "What do you want, Black?" he demanded roughly.

"Hello to you, too, Snape," Sirius said cheerfully. "Grumpy as always, then?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Insufferable as always, then?" he said, imitating Sirius' tone mockingly.

Sirius nodded gravely, carefully hiding his broad grin. "I'm afraid so," he said.

"What do you want?" Severus reiterated.

Sirius, sensing the end of his moment to joke, assumed a more serious demeanor. "I need to talk to you."

"Is Lily all right?" Severus asked quickly. "And Clara?"

"What?" Sirius asked, confused. "Oh, yes, of course. Why wouldn't they be?"

Severus shook his head in an _I-don't-know _motion. "There's nothing else that would bring you here, Black. Unless, of course, you came only to torture me. Which, I admit, would impress me. Don't you usually prefer the odds of four on one?"

"That's why I'm here," Sirius blurted without thinking about it.

"To torture me?" Severus clarified. He sneered. "I think you'll find it a little harder than you did when we were in school." He reached inside his robes for his wand.

"No," Sirius said, remaining shockingly calm. He pulled out his wand with his off hand and threw it on Severus' desk. Severus eyed the wand. Clearly new. Spruce by the look of it. "All yours."

Severus smiled wickedly. "You place yourself at my mercy?"

"I trust Dumbledore, and Dumbledore trusts you," Sirius said calmly. "I didn't come here to hurt you, Snape. I came to apologize."

"For what?" Severus said sharply.

Sirius looked down. "Can I sit?" he asked. Severus nodded jerkily. This time, Severus made no attempt to stop his guest from sitting in the uncomfortable chair. Sirius settled himself down."Sna-Severus," Sirius began, stammering over using Severus' given name. "I came to apologize for everything that James, Remus, Peter, and I did to you during school."

Severus was quiet for a moment. Then, "What makes you think an apology can make up for what you did?"

"I don't," Sirius said quickly. "It can't make up for it. But it could help. It could set us on the path to making up for it."

Severus would have snorted in hilarity if it wasn't for the uncharacteristically serious look on his long-time nemesis' face.

"I'm sorry, Sn—Severus," Sirius said into the silence. "The things we did to you were inexcusable. We probably should have been expelled for what we did."

Severus didn't hurry up and nod, but he didn't disagree, either.

"Especially..." Sirius paused for a moment, gathering his courage. "Especially what I did to you during our seventh year. And what I _almost _did to you. For that, I am most sorry."

"You..." Severus trailed off. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say.

When Severus didn't speak any more, Sirius said, "I have no right to ask you to accept my apology, Severus, no right at all. But I will, anyways, for Clara's sake."

"For Clara's sake?" Severus repeated quietly.

"I don't want her to grow up with two surrogate fathers that don't speak to her godfather. It wouldn't be good for her," Sirius said.

Severus stared at him. "You...have done a lot of growing up since our school days, Black," he said carefully.

Sirius grimaced. "Azkaban does that to you," he said.

They looked at each other for a moment or two.

"I accept your apology, Black," Severus said. Before Sirius could get elated, he amended, "I don't forgive you. But I accept your apology."

Sirius nodded. "Okay," he said. He got up to leave. Then he remembered. "Oh. Moony—I mean Remus—asked me to convey his most sincere apologies as well. He wanted me to tell you that if you want to hear his apology in person, he will be only too happy to oblige as soon as his babysitting duties are over."

"Babysitting?"

"Yes, Lily is having tea with Molly Weasley this evening, so Remus is alone with Clara," Sirius explained. "Otherwise he would have come along. Shall I tell him to come see you personally?"

Severus hesitated. It had been nice to see Sirius so humbled for once. But, to be fair, Remus had hardly ever joined in his friends' tormenting of Severus. Finally he shook his head. "Only if Lupin wants to," he said. "I don't need him to apologize. It's not his fault he's a werewolf and almost killed me."

Sirius nodded. "Goodbye, Severus," he said. Again, his voice twisted oddly as he tried to casually use 'Severus' as opposed to 'Snape'. He turned to leave.

"Black?"

Sirius wheeled around to face Severus again. "What?"

"Call me Snape," Severus said, saying it as though angry, but really just trying to reserve Sirius' sanity by not forcing him to call his old nemesis by his first name.

"_Thank you_," Sirius rushed, a broad grin of relief spilling over his face. "Lily wanted me to use your first name. Thank Merlin you don't care."

Severus shrugged. "Yes, well."

Sirius turned to go. When he reached the door, he turned and said. "Do you want to come by later? Molly's sending some leftovers with Lily, so..."

"I would like that, Black," Severus said.

Sirius nodded matter-of-factly. "Good. See you later, Snape."

Severus smiled slightly as Sirius left. He glanced back down at his desk, and the smile faded slightly.

"Black!"

"What?" reverberated a voice from the hall.

"You forgot your wand."

Quickly approaching footprints sounded, accompanied by Sirius' muttered swears.

* * *

><p>"Well," Lily said as she put down <em>The Daily Prophet<em>. "You'd think, with a war on, that the papers might find something new to print."

Sirius glanced up from his corn flakes. "It can't be as bad as Skeeter's article," he said reasonably.

"Oh, no, it's not," Lily said. "That was the only one that made us sound crazy, anyway. The others are all very complimentary: 'resolute in the face of trials...braving the horrors of Azkaban...' et cetera, et cetera."

Sirius grinned. "I _was _rather brave, wasn't I?"

Lily threw the paper at him.

Remus emerged from Lily's room carrying Clara. "I think she's hungry, Lily," he said. Lily stood to take Clara, laughing slightly as Sirius pulled the paper out of his bowl of corn flakes.

"Pumpkin juice, Moony?" he offered, holding up the jug to his friend.

* * *

><p>Augusta Longbottom staggered out of the fireplace in Professor Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore rose to his feet in alarm.<p>

"Professor," she choked out. "He's not breathing." She held out the bundle of dirty blankets to him.

Dumbledore swept around the desk and took Neville from the old woman's shaking arms. "What happened?" he asked swiftly.

"We hadn't had much food," Augusta whispered. "We got some carrots...I know he wasn't supposed to eat much hard food, but it was all we had! He started...choking...and then he stopped..."

Dumbledore pulled out his wand and aimed it at the boy. "_Anapneo,_" he said calmly. Neville's airway cleared and he gasped in a breath.

"Thank Merlin," Augusta whispered. She reached inside her tattered robes and pulled out a sheaf of dirty, crumbling parchment. "Their last will and testament," she said. "Take it."

Dumbledore frowned. "Augusta, what has happened over the last nine months?"

The old woman shook her head. "Now he's safe," she whispered hoarsely.

Then she collapsed on the floor, dead.

* * *

><p>"Lily!" called a voice from the fireplace at Remus' house around midnight. "Remus! Sirius!"<p>

From three different corners of the house, sounds of response were heard at the urgency in the voice. Lily, whose room was the closest to the living room, was the first to reach the fireplace.

"Professor," she greeted curtly, falling to her knees to speak to Dumbledore's head more easily. "What's happened?"

"Wait a moment, my dear, for your friends," Dumbledore said.

Within a minute, Remus and Sirius were also in front of the fireplace, clad in dressing gowns and slippers.

"There has been a development with the Longbottom Family," Dumbledore said.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked breathlessly. "I thought Augusta and Neville were on the run."

"They were," Dumbledore said. "Would you please come to my office immediately? I can discuss more in person."

"All of us?" Remus asked.

"Yes, Remus, all of you. Though, it might be a good idea to get a temporary sitter for Clara. I don't know how long this will take," Dumbledore said.

Sirius got up. "I'll Floo her over to the Weasleys', Lil," he offered.

Lily nodded. "We'll be right there, Professor."

* * *

><p>Remus and Lily sat tensely in front of Dumbledore's desk, waiting anxiously.<p>

"Sirius should be here any minute," Lily said for the fifth time, just to fill the heavy silence.

No one responded. Neville was in a corner on a blanket on the floor, playing happily with some blocks.

The flames of the fireplace turned green suddenly, and Sirius spun into view. He stepped neatly out of the fireplace and brushed the soot off his robes. "Sorry I'm late," he said briskly. "Molly and Arthur were in bed when I arrived."

"That's all right, Sirius," said Dumbledore. "Take a seat." He gestured to the open chair on Lily's left.

Sirius sat, and all three guests turned silent eyes to Dumbledore.

"Augusta Longbottom is dead," Dumbledore said simply. Ignoring the cries of shock from the listeners, he went on. "She arrived here shortly after eleven o'clock, Neville was in distress, I helped him, and then Augusta gave me _this._"

Dumbledore gestured to the dirty sheaf of parchment on his desk. He opened it gingerly.

"What is it?" Remus asked, leaning forward to get a better look.

"The Last Will and Testament of Alice and Frank Longbottom," Dumbledore said. He turned the page to them and pointed out an area. "This part talks about Neville. It says that, in the case of their deaths, Frank's mother, Augusta, should take custody. However, there is a clause that states in the case of _her _death, the next candidate would be—"

"—James and Lily Potter of Godric's Hollow," Lily finished, reading ahead. She was shaking slightly. Sirius reached out and took one of her hands.

"So that's it, then?" Sirius asked. "We just take Neville and Floo home?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "It's not quite that simple," he said. "I have a hunch—and my hunches are usually accurate—that the Ministry has been infiltrated by Voldemort. Specifically, the Magical Transportation department."

"So?" Sirius asked.

"So Voldemort knows that Neville Longbottom has been transported by the Floo Network into Hogwarts," Dumbledore explained. "As such, we must get him out, quickly and quietly, so that Voldemort does not have time to act."

"What do we have to do?" Lily asked in a business-like manner.

"I have ordered one of the school carriages up to the gates. I have warded the carriage with as much magical power as I can, and I have no fear that, with the three skilled wizards and witches he shall have to protect him, that once in the carriage and to your home, he will be safe. Your home is warded?"

"Of course," Remus said.

"Why can't we Apparate?" Sirius asked.

"Because," Lily answered for Dumbledore. "We can't Apparate off Hogwarts grounds."

Nobody said anything else.

"Time is of the essence," Dumbledore said.

Lily got up. She dropped to her knees in the corner where Neville was playing. "Neville, you've got to come with us now, okay? Come with Aunt Lily." Lily brushed the brown hair off Neville's face fondly.

"No now!" Neville pouted, brandishing his blocks at Lily. "I pwaying!"

Lily smiled weakly. "I know you're playing, baby, but we've got to go now. There will be _lots _of blocks at Uncle Moony's house, okay?"

Neville looked slightly swayed. He tipped his head at Lily. "'Kay," he said doubtfully. "Lots of blocks?"

"More than you could imagine," Lily answered.

Neville smiled happily. He held out his arms. "Me up!" he exclaimed.

Lily scooped him up and settled him on one hip. "You'll have somebody to play with at home, too," she said as she walked toward the exit of Dumbledore's office. "Her name is Clara. She'll have to grow up a little first, but pretty soon, you can teach her how to play with blocks."

"Me teach?" Neville asked curiously.

Lily hitched him up a little on her hip. "Of course," she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "That's what older brothers do for their little sisters."

Neville giggled as Lily tickled his chin with her free hand. Remus and Sirius, following close behind Lily, shared a private smile.

Dumbledore also followed them down the halls and towards the exit. "Miss Randovski?" he said to a passing first year. "Please tell me that is not a Fanged Frisbee."

The girl quickly whipped the offending object out of sight. "It's not, sir," she said unconvincingly.

"Do not let me see it again," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye. "And it is past curfew; you would do well to get back to Ravenclaw Tower."

"Yes, sir," the girl said, and she took off down the hallway.

Dumbledore turned back to Remus, Sirius, and Lily, who were waiting patiently a little ways down the corridor. "I apologize," he said to them with a smile. "Sometimes I wonder why I even venture out of my study at all; I am nearly always side-tracked from my purpose."

Lily, Remus, and Sirius all assured Dumbledore that it was nothing, that there was plenty of time. Voldemort wouldn't be able to assemble an attack that quickly.

As they reached the Entrance Hall, they were again halted as Minerva McGonagall came towards them, dragging a flame-haired boy by the ear and shouting at him. It took them all a moment to realize when she started to address Dumbledore instead of the boy.

"DO YOU HAVE _ANY _IDEA WHAT THIS BOY DID THIS EVENING?" she demanded of Dumbledore. When the headmaster raised an inquisitive eyebrow, she thundered, "CHARLES WEASLEY! TELL THE HEADMASTER WHAT YOU JUST DID!"

Charlie muttered something unintelligible.

"SPEAK UP!"

Charlie looked at his feet. "I put Bulbadox Powder in Maynard Yupely's...ya know..." he trailed off meaningfully, looking sheepish. "Sorry."

"SORRY! SORRY! YUPLEY'S NETHER REGIONS ARE _COVERED _IN BOILS AND YOU SAY _SORRY?_ YOU THINK YOU'RE SORRY, NOW, BOY! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN _SEEN _SORRY! SORRY WILL COME AFTER A _MONTH'S _DETENTIONS, YOU HEAR?"

Sirius was trying his hardest not to laugh. "It's so much more fun when she's not shouting at you," he whispered to Remus.

Even Lily was trying hard to keep a straight face. "Professor," she said to Dumbledore. "You deal with the...ahem...boils. We'll get Neville home safely."

"Are you sure?" Dumbledore asked, leaving McGonagall to rant to no one but the small, cowering Weasley in front of her.

"Of course, sir," Lily said. She hugged Neville tighter. The boy had his arms tight around her neck. He was watching the proceedings with a certain interest, but seemed to be rapidly boring of the conversation as his eyes began to blink more slowly and more frequently.

Neville leaned into Lily's ear as they walked away from the continued shouting match. "I syeep now," he whispered, and put his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Okay, sweetie," Lily said quietly as they reached the front doors.

Joking and laughing quietly, the three friends and the newest addition to their family made their way across the grounds.

"Feels just like old times, huh, Moony?" Sirius said, looking to be in high spirits.

Remus smiled. "If only Prongs were here," he said.

"Lily's here, she's a Potter," Sirius argued. "You'll fill in for James, won't you, Lil?"

Lily glowered jokingly at him. "As if," she said. "Let's hurry up; Neville's getting heavier by the second."

The trio sped up. Neville seemed not to notice, still sleeping soundly on Lily's shoulder, making small suckling noises.

"Do you want me to take him?" Sirius offered as Remus grasped the wrought-iron handle of the front gate.

Lily snuggled the sleeping boy closer. "No, I'm fine."

Remus pulled open the gate. "Ladies first," he said gallantly. Lily smiled and walked through. She stopped abruptly, so abruptly that Sirius, behind her, nearly ran her over.

"What's up, Lil?" he asked.

Lily's hand twitched toward the back pocket of her jeans, where her wand resided. "I thought I saw something move, over there," she said quietly, indicating the trees along the path. "Let's just get in the carriage. Where did Dumbledore say it was supposed to be?"

"Right outside," Sirius said. He glanced around, squinting to see though the dim early dawn light. He lit his wand and walked toward the thick patch of trees in which Lily had seen motion.

Remus, still standing by the door, holding it open, made to let it go in order to follow Sirius.

Sirius stopped suddenly and whirled around. The pale glow of his wand illuminated his face, which was filled with an expression Lily had never seen on Sirius before, but she had no difficulty placing it. It had been on James' face when Voldemort had shown up at their cottage. It was complete and utter terror.

"Don't close that—!" Sirius shouted to Remus, but it was too late. The door swung shut and locked with a small click. In that same moment, a jet of bright orange light emerged from the trees and struck Sirius in the small of the back.

With a _BANG, _Sirius flew upwards and forwards towards the wall. With a sickening crunch, he hit it hard, headfirst and twenty feet up, and crumpled to the ground in a terribly still heap.

Remus was at Lily's side in a moment, wand drawn and at the ready. Without quite knowing how, Lily's wand was also in her hand. "_Lumos!" _she exclaimed, and flicked her wand to nonverbally send the orb of light toward the trees.

Her breath stopped in her chest. More than two dozen Death Eaters approached in masks and robes, wands drawn and pointed at the pair.

"_Stupefy!_" cried Remus in terror. "_Stupefy!_"

Answering curses flew back from the ranks of Death Eaters. Lily screamed, "_Protego!"_ but Remus wasn't as quick. Lily's eyes widened as Remus was hit with a dozen curses at once. "Remus!" she shouted as he fell backward with a scream of pain.

Forgetting momentarily the crowd of Death Eaters, Lily fell to her knees beside him. He was unconscious—or was he. . . Lily shook her head. He couldn't be dead. Neither Remus nor Sirius was dead.

She got back to her feet and raised her wand, still clutching Neville. The boy was awake now, watching with wide, fear-filled eyes. "Wha happen?" he asked Lily, tightening his arms around her neck.

"Avada—" started one of the Death Eaters, stepping forward.

"No," said a calm, cold voice from behind the ranks. "You might hit the boy. _I _must be the one to finish the boy."

Lily's heart froze in her chest. She knew that voice. _"Stand aside, you silly girl! Stand aside!" _Memories of that night replayed in her head. "You," Lily whispered.

Voldemort laughed coldly. "Yes, me," he said. "Again. And you, again, standing between me and the person I want to kill. And again, a choice. Put the boy down."

Lily stared at him. She gathered up her courage. "I will not let you murder another child before my eyes," she said flatly.

"Don't be rash, Potter," Voldemort said coercively. "You aren't even related to the boy. I could hit you. And what about your one true love? Severus?"

Lily ground her teeth. "I'm not putting him down," she said resolutely.

"As you wish. _Avada Kedavra_!"

Lily was falling, falling, black was filling her vision. Something heavy landed on top of her.

And Lily Potter knew no more.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Yes. I'm evil. But feel free to tell me how evil I am for leaving nasty nasty cliffhangers with a review! Thanks to all for reading and those who've reviewed. The response so far has been wonderful. _


	8. Sleep When You're Dead

**Warning: **Much angst. Much, much angst.

* * *

><p>Chapter 8. Sleep When You're Dead<p>

"Lily! Lily! Wake up!"

Someone was shaking Lily rather hard. "Go away, James," she said sleepily. "They say you can sleep when you're dead, but apparently not."

"Lily! _Rennervate!_" the voice seemed more panicked.

"Severus, calm down," said a serene voice—Dumbledore. "She is awake. Give her a moment."

Lily cracked her eyes. Bright sunlight struck them, and she squeezed them shut in answer. "Sev?" she said, mouth dry. "How did _you _die?"

"I'm not dead, Lil," Severus said, slipping a hand under her neck to help her sit up. "Neither are you."

Lily shook her head and opened her eyes, shielding them with her hand and looking at Severus. "But...I thought...the Killing Curse..."

"It didn't..." Severus trailed off for a moment. "It didn't hit you."

Lily's eyes narrowed in confusion. "But I felt it—"

"It hit someone very close to you," Severus said. "The force of the spell knocked you over; you hit your head on the ground, hard."

"Who did it hit?" Lily asked, breath coming quicker. Severus looked hesitant. Lily growled, "_Who did it hit, _Severus?"

Severus glanced over his shoulder. "Lily, I'm sorry."

Lily wrenched herself out of his grasp and looked around him. There on the ground, lying impossibly still, was a tiny body wrapped in a black cloak.

"Neville," Lily whispered, crawling over.

"Lily, there was nothing you could have done," Severus said.

Lily snatched up the still form. A sob wracked her body. What had seemed so heavy in life was unbearably light in death. "Neville," she repeated. "Neville, sweetie, I'm sorry. So sorry."

"Lily. Please." Severus' voice was begging, but Lily didn't know what he wanted her to do.

Mustering her strength, Lily laid the little boy's body back down. "Sirius and Remus?" she asked. Her heart ached from the pain. She was sure that if she got more bad news, it would break irreparably.

Severus offered his hand to help her up. "The headmaster is taking care of them," he said.

"They're alive?" Lily asked, feeling her heart jump a little.

"Yes. They are," Severus said with a small smile.

"Where are they?"

"He took them up to the castle, to the Hospital Wing."

Lily looked up at him. "Can we go?"

"Of course."

Severus started to lead Lily away, but she put a hand on his arm. She gazed back down at Neville's covered body. "We can't leave him."

She started to pick him up, but Severus stopped her. "Let me." He bent and lifted the child easily, carrying him like he would a baby, an overlarge and dreadfully limp baby.

The pair walked together up towards the castle in somber silence.

* * *

><p>Sirius and Remus lay quite still on their beds. Lily sat between them. "How are they?" she asked Madam Pomfrey, who was busy waving her wand over Remus.<p>

"I've fixed up Mr. Black; he'll be awake any moment. His legs are still healing—I gave him Skele-Gro," the mediwitch responded. "I gathered he had a bit of a run-in with the wall of the castle."

Automatically, Lily said, "He lost." Ordinarily, she would have smirked slightly, but her face couldn't remember the motion of turning the corners of her mouth up.

"He did," Madam Pomfrey agreed. "Now, Mr. Lupin was a bit more of a problem. You wouldn't happen to know what he was hit with, by any chance?"

"Loads of spells," Lily responded, moving her chair so she was closer to Remus. "At least two of them were his own Stunners, sent back at him."

The mediwitch tsked her tongue disapprovingly. "More than one spell, that would explain it. I might need to send this one to St. Mungo's."

Lily nodded and brushed Remus' brown hair out of his eyes.

"Funny," said a tired but jovial voice from behind her. "When I left school five years ago, I figured I'd seen the last of the Hospital Wing. I guess we were destined to meet again."

Lily stood so sharply that her chair fell over with a clatter. "Padfoot!" she exclaimed.

"Keep your voice down, Lil. Merlin, my head hurts," Sirius said.

"That's what happens when you run into a stone wall headfirst, Mr. Black," said Madam Pomfrey fondly.

Sirius smiled ruefully. "I didn't exactly run, did I?" he said. "I was very gently guided by a Death Eater. Moony okay?"

"He will be, I think," Lily responded. "Madam Pomfrey—"

"Call me Poppy, dear."

Lily attempted to force a smile and quickly gave up. "Poppy, then, might have to move him to St. Mungo's."

"And Neville?"

Lily's eyes filled with tears and she turned away, unable to let Sirius see her this way. A handkerchief emerged into her line of vision, and she accepted it, burying her face in it.

Severus, who had been lurking in the corner of the Hospital Wing, had reached Lily in record time when she began to cry. He turned to Sirius. "The Dark Lord personally finished the boy."

Lily jerked with another sob.

Sirius' face grew somber. "Lily," he said.

Lily made no answer.

"Lily!"

Lily looked at him. "What?" she demanded.

Sirius moved over in the hospital bed and held out an arm to her. "Come here."

"No."

"Lily," Sirius said impatiently. "I'm pretty sure my legs are broken nine ways from Sunday, but so help me Merlin, if I have to get out of bed to hug you, I will do it."

Lily sniffled and climbed into Sirius' bed. Sirius pulled the covers over her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her. "Shh," he said, rubbing her back gently. "It's going to be okay. I promise. We'll get through this. You and me and Moony—when he gets done with his nap, of course."

Lily choked out a laugh. "Love you, Padfoot," she said faintly, squeezing him tighter.

"Love you, too," Sirius said, kissing her forehead.

Severus felt his heart wrench. He spun and left the room. _He's like her brother, _he reminded himself. _Her brother. She doesn't look at him that way. She never has._

"He was my son," Lily said into Sirius' chest. "He was my son for an hour. For an _hour._"

"I know," Sirius said. "It's not fair."

Lily snuggled closer to her friend, holding him close and reveling in the security of his arms. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pretend that it was James she was holding, that Voldemort had never come to their cottage, that James and Harry had never died.

"Nothing's fair," she finally said.

Sirius, at a loss for words, simply held her.

* * *

><p>"My Lord, I have heard of your success with the Longbottom boy—"<p>

"Yes, Bellatrix, yes," said Voldemort impatiently. "But that's not what concerns me. With the boy out of the way, I must move on to the next stage."

"The Ministry, you mean?" Bellatrix asked, looking at him with a reverent awe.

"Yes, the Ministry."

"And then you shall _truly _rule the Wizarding World," Bellatrix cooed.

Voldemort fingered his wand. "No, I won't."

"My Lord?"

"As long as Dumbledore lives and Hogwarts stands, I shall not have complete control."

"My Lord, you wish to take the school?" Bellatrix asked.

Voldemort shook his head. "Not yet. I will bide my time, I will wait. But soon, yes. I will take the school."

* * *

><p>The sun was high when Lily and Sirius finally left St. Mungo's. Remus, who was awake but weak, had shooed them out to go and fetch Clara from the Weasleys. So, upon promising to return later that evening, the two had left.<p>

"I still don't see why we can't use the Floo Network," Sirius complained as they boarded the Knight Bus.

"Because, Padfoot," Lily said impatiently. "Voldemort is tracking it."

"So?" Sirius demanded. "He doesn't care about _us._ The only reason he cared about Hogwarts was that Neville had used the Network to get there."

"We aren't taking any chances," Lily said firmly. Without missing a beat, she turned to the conductor and said, "Two for the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole, please."

"Yes, ma'am," said the conductor. That'll be nine Sickles each, but for two more you can get a nice cuppa tea, and for two more besides, you can get another cushion for your armchair and a copy o' Witch Weekly."

Sirius pulled his money-bag out of his pocket and counted out eighteen Sickles for the man.

"Right this way, ma'am, sir. There's a couple o' armchairs up on the second deck, I think," the conductor said. He led the way to a pair of armchairs beside a window upstairs. "M'name's Ernie Prang, jus' holler if you need anythin'."

He left, and Lily sat down gingerly. "I hate these seats."

"Why?" asked Sirius.

"They move around when the bus moves!"

"So?"

"On Muggle busses, the seats are fixed to the floor," Lily explained, sounding slightly bitter.

"Oh," Sirius said, looking mildly surprised. "That's actually not a bad idea."

Lily laughed shortly, humorlessly. "Because Muggles never come up with any good ideas, do they?"

"Oh, no," Sirius said sincerely. "I think they do a remarkable job of coping without magic."

"It's not that hard until you know there _is _magic," Lily said stubbornly.

At that moment, the bus took off with a dreadful lurch. Lily and Sirius were thrown to the floor.

"I hate the Knight Bus," Lily grumbled. "Hate it."

"You suggested it."

"Shut up."

"Tou-chy," Sirius said.

"Of course I'm touchy," Lily snarled. "You should be, too. One cuddle is not enough to fix me, to help me get over this. I need...I don't know what I need."

Sirius put his hand over hers. People were starting to turn around and stare at them. "Easy, Lil," Sirius said, lowering his voice to deter eavesdroppers. "I'm on _your _side, you know that. No need to jump down my throat."

Lily wilted, letting her face fall into her hands. "I know," she said as the bus gave another lurch.

"OTTERY ST. CATCHPOLE!" shouted the voice of Ernie Prang from the deck below. Sirius got to his feet and pulled Lily up by her elbow, wrapping a strong arm around her shoulder and leading her off the bus.

The short walk to the Burrow was short and silent. Molly answered when they knocked, little Ginny, one year old, peeping out from behind her robes.

Lily snatched Clara from the other woman, ignoring Molly's indignant, "Where in the world have you been?"

Cradling Clara back and forth, Lily turned away, unable to face recounting the story. Molly turned to Sirius. "Honestly, waking us up at all hours of the night, leaving Clara with us with not so much as an explanation? I think Arthur and I deserve some answers!"

"You do, Molly, you do," Sirius said tiredly, for an instant sounding like a mature adult. "But it's been a hell of a night."

"You can say that again, Lily muttered.

Molly immediately switched over to mother-mode. "Well, you look like death, the pair of you. Come inside and have a cup of tea. Tell me all about it. Where's Remus?"

"St. Mungo's," Lily said, throat dry. Suddenly a cup of tea sounded like the most welcoming idea in the world.

"Is he all right?" Molly asked anxiously, bustling into the kitchen and seating them at the table. She waved her wand and a black kettle soared to the stove and began to heat.

"He will be," Sirius answered, leaning his chair back on its back legs. Molly directed her wand at him, and with a _bang, _the chair fell back level.

"Sit in my chairs as they were intended to be sat in, Mr. Black," she chided. Lily, seated opposite Sirius, hadn't looked up. "Lily, dear, are you all right?"

"Yes, Molly, of course," Lily responded, still staring down at Clara, cuddling her.

Molly looked at Sirius, who gave her an almost imperceptible shake of the head. Molly nodded briskly in understanding and proceeded in mindless small-talk as she poured tea into three mugs. "Arthur's already gone into work. He'll be glad to know that everything's alright—perhaps I'll send him an owl."

Sirius looked down at a small tug at his robes. He looked down. "Hi, there," he said to the little red-head girl looking up at him.

"I up?"

Sirius reached down and pulled Ginny onto his lap. "You must be Ginevra," he said, tweaking her nose and taking his mug of tea from Molly.

"Ginny!" shrieked the little girl, infuriated.

Sirius smiled. "Of course, Ginny," he said. "Why was I so silly?"

Ginny smiled and cuddled up to his chest. Sirius felt a warmth spread through his chest that had nothing to do with the sip of tea he'd taken. "You no silly," Ginny said.

"Yes, I am," Sirius said, laughing slightly. "I'm very silly. Just get to know me."

Molly sat down at the table. "You know, Sirius," she said. "You wouldn't think it, just from looking at you, but you are really very good with children."

"Thank you, I think," Sirius said.

Molly pushed Lily's mug toward her on the table. "Drink your tea, Lily," she said firmly.

Lily ignored her.

"Lily!" said Molly sharply. "Drink. Your. Tea. Now."

Lily jumped to her feet. "Tea can't fix everything, Molly! Tea can't fix _death,_ can it? It can't fix _guilt! _It can't fix pain so terrible and so awful that you feel like your heart is going to rip in two! _Tea can't fix everything! _It can't fix this war and it certainly can't fix me." With that, Lily walked purposely to the door and left, slamming it behind her and causing Ginny to cry.

Sirius took a big swig of his tea and got up to follow, setting Ginny in her mother's arms. "It's sort of a long story, Molly," he said. "Perhaps another time?"

"Of course," said Molly, slightly shocked. "And Sirius? Will you please tell Lily that she's right? Tea can't fix everything. But time can. If she's patient."

"I'll tell her," Sirius promised. "Thanks for the tea." He opened the door and followed Lily out into the bright morning sunshine.

* * *

><p>Sirius waited until they got back to Remus' house before he started. "Lily, what in Merlin's name was that?" he demanded as soon as the front door had closed. "You can't just alienate everyone that tries to help you! Molly makes tea, that's what she does when she doesn't know what to do!"<p>

"Shut up, Sirius!"

"What is wrong with you?" Sirius shouted. "You never lose control like this!"

"EVERYONE LOSES CONTROL!" Lily screamed. She handed Clara to Sirius and stormed off to her bedroom.

Sirius looked down at the child in his arms. "Oh, Clara," he said. "She always did have a temper. Temper and trauma don't really mix, do they?"

Clara smiled at him, batting her long black lashes.

"No, they don't," Sirius said, answering his own question. "Usually she's the strong one. And I'm the one that falls apart. It's weird, you know? To try to be an adult."

"Yes, you always did seem to fail on that count in school," said a snarky voice from the door.

Sirius whirled. "Snape."

Severus came in and closed the door. "It was unlocked, and I heard screaming."

"Yeah, that was us," Sirius admitted.

Severus held up a bag of Honeyduke's chocolate. "Lily likes chocolate when she's sad," he said.

"Everyone does," Sirius responded. He took the bag and glanced inside. "Merlin, what did you do, buy the whole store?"

"Most of the chocolate," Severus said, shifting uncomfortably. "Do you think I should take it to her?"

Sirius shrugged, careful not to jostle Clara. "I don't know. Are you suicidal?"

"Not that I know of."

"Then I probably wouldn't go in there. But hey, if you're feeling adventurous..."

Severus set the bag down. "Maybe I'll wait a few minutes."

Sirius sat down at the kitchen table and gestured to a chair with his free hand to Severus. "I don't get it," he said, as Severus sat. "She wasn't this worked up when _James _died. _James. Her husband._ And Harry, too. She wasn't like this."

"I think she feels useless now," Severus said musingly. "She had something to do when James and Harry died—that was breaking you out of prison. She's been throwing herself after one project and another, and Neville's death...It made her take a step back and grieve."

"You think Neville's death set her off to finally _really _grieve for James and Harry?"

"Well, it's not that she _isn't _grieving for Neville. I'm sure she is. He _was _her son, if only for an hour or two, and it's right for her to grieve for the son of her best friend. But I really do think that this is more about Harry and James than Neville," Severus said heavily. He snapped a Honeyduke's chocolate bar in half and offered part to Sirius.

Sirius eyed it warily. "You haven't poisoned it?"

"No," Severus said with a sigh. "You apologized for trying to kill me. I'm not going to attempt revenge."

"Not very Slytherin-ish of you."

Severus laughed a bit. "Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm still going to use it against you in every single argument we ever have."

"Which will be many, I'm sure," Sirius chuckled.

They both subsided and an awkward silence filled the room, filled only by Clara's little burps and bubbles. Neither man knew what to say.

"So," Sirius began, "does this make us friends, or—"

"In your dreams, Black."

"Right."

The silence after that was considerably more comfortable.

* * *

><p>"Izzat chocolate?" Lily murmured rubbing sleep and dried tears from her eyes.<p>

Sirius nodded, not looking up from Clara, who was suckling on a bottle of formula milk. "Snape brought it over this morning."

Lily sat down and ripped the paper off a bar. She looked at it mournfully. "Should I have breakfast, first?" she asked.

"Nah," Sirius said. He glanced at his watch. "It's nearly seven at night. No breakfast."

Lily nodded and took a huge bite off the chocolate, moaning in pleasure.

"Feeling better?" Sirius asked.

Lily shrugged, mouth bulging with Honeyduke's. "Sev'rus uz 'ere?" she prompted around the chocolate.

"Yeah," Sirius said, getting up and setting the bottle on the counter. "He thinks you're so upset because you're really grieving for James and Harry. But Neville, too."

Lily swallowed, hard. "Yeah?" she said ironically. "Did you two also figure out how to get world peace and discover the meaning of life?"

"Nope," Sirius said, glad to find Lily recovered enough to be sarcastic. "We have to save _something _for our next little heart-to-heart."

Lily scoffed. "Right."

"He's worried about you, Lil," Sirius said heavily. "So am I."

"I'm a little worried about me, too," Lily whispered quietly.

"Lily—" Sirius started, sounding like he had something quite important and wise to say.

Lily leapt to her feet. "We promised we'd go visit Remus!" she half-shouted. Clearly, she didn't want to talk any more about her feelings. "We have to go! I wonder if he'd like to see Clara? He probably would—let's bring her."

"Lily—" Sirius tried again.

"Come on, Padfoot!" Lily said, her voice almost believably cheerful. "We don't want to be late! Remus is expecting us!"

"Please, Lily," Sirius said.

Lily grabbed her cloak. "Do you think I need it?" she asked, like the chatterbox she wasn't. "It's so warm out. But it might get cold."

"It's August," Sirius reminded her, looking aghast.

Lily smiled brightly. "Okay then, no cloak. Come on, we have to get the Knight Bus!"

* * *

><p>Remus was staring at Lily as she bustled about his room, conjuring flowers and multi-colored rugs. She conjured a knitted blanket in every color of the rainbow and spread it over Remus' legs. Sirius was sitting in the chair next to Remus' bed, rocking Clara back and forth and whispering to her, "Mummy's gone mental. Yes, she has. Yes, she has."<p>

"Lily?" Remus said tentatively.

Lily whirled around from her place at the window, using a Color-Change Charm on the previously white curtains. "What, Moony? Do you need a nurse? Let me go find a Healer—"

"No, Lil, I'm fine." Remus was eyeing her warily. "Are _you _okay?"

"I'm just dandy, Moony!"

Lily had never used the word 'dandy' in her entire life. Remus looked even more alarmed, and Sirius continued assuring Clara under his breath that her mum had gone completely and irrevocably mental.

"Lily—"

"Don't you take that tone with me, Remus John Lupin!"

Remus looked confused. "What tone?"

"Your prefect tone," Lily said, rather unreasonably. "You never even _did _anything useful as a prefect, so you don't get to use the tone with me."

"Oi! I did useful things!"

Lily raised her eyebrows disbelievingly. "Dumbledore made you a prefect so you could reel in the arsehole that was James Potter and this here—" she indicated Sirius "—his idiotic little sidekick! Did you do that? No!"

"Lily, you do remember that you married the arsehole that was James Potter, right?" Remus said slowly, concerned. Sirius was looking highly affronted.

"Yes, I remember that! Why did I do that, huh? Why?"

"You loved him," Remus said quietly.

Lily's face began to crumple. "I did! I l-l-loved him and he was a stupid arsehole and went and d-died! He died!"

Remus held out his arms to her. Sirius was watching with mournful eyes as Lily crawled into Remus' bed and sobs racked her body.

"And I watched while V-Voldemort murdered my son—I let him! I let him! Remus, I let him! I shouldn't have gotten out of the way, I should have helped him! I should have died for him!"

Remus rubbed her back, quietly whispering, "It wouldn't have changed anything, Lily."

"And now I've let my b-best friend's only ch-child d-die right before my eyes!"

Remus continued to whisper that she wasn't alone, that he and Sirius were there for her, aware that she wasn't really listening to him.

"And you and S-Sirius almost died! You almost d-died! I would have b-been alone!"

"We didn't, and you're not," Sirius pointed out from the chair next to the bed. He took a Honeyduke's bar out of his pocket and took a bite.

Remus frowned at him over Lily's head as she sobbed into his sheets. "I thought Severus brought that for Lily."

Sirius looked from the chocolate to Remus to Lily and shrugged. "Want some, Lil?" he asked, holding out the bar. Lily sobbed harder. Sirius shrugged again.

"Couldn't you be serious for once in your life?" Remus demanded.

Sirius put a very fake solemn look on his face. "I am serious," he said, wide eyed. "So serious, it's practically my name."

Remus groaned, and Lily muttered, "Padfoot, if you crack that joke again, I will cast a Bat-Bogey Hex on you and not remove it until Clara goes to Hogwarts."

"That's almost eleven years!" Sirius yelped.

"I know," Lily said, voice hoarse from crying and muffled, as her face was still pressed into Remus' sheets.

"This is what I love about our family," said Sirius happily. "We can be sobbing or arguing one minute, and cracking jokes the next."

"Who said I was joking?" Lily growled, turning her red, puffy eyes on him. Sirius was glad to see that they were dancing.

"You are," he said with certainty.

* * *

><p>"Please, Lily. Go."<p>

"No."

"Lily—"

"No, Remus. I _will not _take Clara and leave you and Sirius here alone for the full moon. No."

Remus looked frustrated. "You did last month," he said.

"I was stupid to give in to you," Lily said calmly. Ever since she'd recovered slightly from her grief, she had been bound and determined to keep the family together practically all the time.

"It's dangerous," Remus said, getting angry. "I could escape from the basement, and then what would you do?"

"Deal with it," Lily answered. "I would deal with it."

"You can't expose her to me so early in her life!"

"_Expose?_" Lily repeated. "You're practically the girl's father! I refuse to not _expose _her to you!"

"I'M DANGEROUS!"

Lily gave a short laugh. "No more so than Sirius," she said.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

"I know, Remus," Lily said patiently. "I am not splitting this family apart every month. A child doesn't deserve that."

"A child doesn't deserve to be mauled by a werewolf!"

"I'm not going to let you maul her!" Lily assured him. "Look, Remus, I don't want her to grow up thinking you're some kind of monster she has to hide from—"

"I _am _a monster! She should hide from me!" Remus interrupted loudly.

Lily's eyes turned to ice. Remus subsided immediately. "Do not _ever _call yourself a monster ever again, Remus Lupin," she said frostily. "_As I was saying, _I don't want Clara to be afraid of you, or worse, not know that you're a werewolf at all. It'll be better if she grows up knowing and not really caring."

"She should care, though," Remus said, slightly more calm (Lily's stares would do that to a person.) "You're Muggleborn, so maybe you don't totally understand, but werewolves _are _Class Five Dangerous Beasts according to the Ministry—"

"—and maybe that's true for werewolves like Fenrir Greyback, but you, Remus?" Lily interrupted. "Sirius wasn't kidding when he called you a nice werewolf—well, yes, he was, but it had some truth to it. Have you ever bitten anyone?"

"No, but—"

"See? You're very careful, and—"

"Lily, listen to me, please—"

"—you shouldn't have to be afraid of hurting Clara, you're so safe with it—"

"Lily—"

"Remus, you're a good person, Clara should be proud to have you for her father—"

"I ALMOST KILLED SNAPE!"

Lily's eyes widened. She looked shell-shocked, and Remus almost felt bad for shouting it so suddenly. "When?"

"Seventh year."

"What happened?"

"Sirius sent him down into the Shrieking Shack—"

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE!"

"James pulled him back, but if he hadn't..."

Sirius entered the living room, and Remus was forgotten. "YOU TRIED TO KILL SEVERUS!"

"You didn't know about that?" asked Sirius in a small voice.

"No, I didn't," Lily said, voice forcibly controlled.

"I apologized to him for it," Sirius protested feebly.

Lily glowered. "And he forgave you?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Shut up," Lily said. "You tried to kill him. You tried to _kill _him. I mean, I know you and James were evil to him in school, but honestly..."

"It wasn't supposed to be like that!" Sirius said persuasively. "It was just a prank. It was stupid, _I _was stupid, but it was just supposed to be a prank. I didn't think."

"No, you didn't," Lily agreed, and they sat in silence.

"He accepted my apology," Sirius put in. "He swore to use it against me anytime he can, of course, but we're on the right road."

Lily smirked slightly and relented, forcing her stiff posture to relax. "Well," she said reluctantly, "If he forgave you, then..." She trailed of thoughtfully.

"Whoa," Remus teased. "Lily Elizabeth Potter, actually _admitting _that she shouldn't meddle."

"Shut up, Moony," Lily said with a small smile playing on her face.

A wail from Lily's bedroom brought all three to attention.

"Sleeping Beauty has awoken," Remus said with a laugh. Lily left to take care of her.

"Who?" Sirius asked Remus, curious.

"She's a Muggle fairy tale princess," Remus explained. "Always one of my least favorites—she just falls asleep and waits for her prince to rescue her from the evil witch."

"What if her prince hadn't come?" Sirius asked indignantly.

Remus chuckled. "Then, it wouldn't be a fairy tale, I suppose. Fairy tales have to have a happy ending."

"I wish Clara _could _be Sleeping Beauty," Sirius said fondly. "So she'd never have to deal with Voldemort; her prince could take care of it all for her."

"If she's anything like her mother, that girl wouldn't let a man take care of her for anything."

"True."

* * *

><p>Remus blinked his eyes open. As usual after a full moon, Lily and Sirius were bent over him, Lily holding a glass of water. He took it and swallowed as much as he could. "Is Clara okay?" he rasped when he could speak again.<p>

"Of course," Lily said. "She slept through the whole night, actually."

Remus nodded, relieved.

Lily swayed slightly as a wave of tiredness passed over her.

"Are you okay?" Remus croaked, concerned.

Sirius sighed. "She stayed awake all night, _again,_" he said. He stretched limbs tired from chasing a werewolf around the basement all night, but his eyes were lively. "Right, Lil?"

Lily ignored him pointedly.

"Go up and get some sleep," Remus said. "You too, Sirius. I'll look after Clara."

"Fat chance," Sirius said. "No offense, Moony, but you look terrible. I can nap this afternoon."

The trio mounted the steps, Lily and Sirius on either side of Remus, supporting him with arms under his shoulders. Once he was safely in bed, Lily disappeared into her own room and sank into bed. Sirius collected Clara and retreated to the living room.

* * *

><p>Lily felt her eyes flutter and close. She dreamed again, dreamed as she had not for a long time.<p>

She was inside a little suburban home, one she knew quite well to be Petunia's. There were fresh lavender flowers on the table in the hall, the wood floors looked newly varnished, and the air smelled of lemon cleaning fluid.

_I always said Petunia would make a good maid, _Lily thought to herself, remembering the room they had shared as children: Lily's half covered in dirty clothes and old dishes, and Petunia's half completely spotless.

A scream from the kitchen shattered the mid-morning silence. "How did you do that, you little freak?!" screamed a terrified voice from the open kitchen door. Lily ran to the door and observed the scene. Two-year-old Harry was escaping to the corner of the kitchen as fast as he could and Petunia was clutching her hand as though she'd been burned. Spilled milk spread all over the kitchen floor.

"Petunia, what happened?" cried the voice of Vernon Dursley, who had raced past Lily to his wife.

"He spilled the milk, so I was grabbing him to put in his cupboard," Petunia exclaimed, "but he burned me!"

Lily did a small victory dance. _Wait, _she thought, _cupboard? What does a cupboard have to do with anything?_

"WHAT?" roared Vernon. "You think you can just hurt your aunt and get nothing to show for it? What do you say to her?"

"Sowwy, A'nt P'tuna," Harry said in a small voice, still cowering in the corner of the kitchen.

"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Vernon thundered. "YOU'LL SPEND TWO DAYS IN YOUR CUPBOARD FOR THAT ONE! NO MEALS!"

Lily's eyes widened in shock. He was a _two-year-old. _He'd _spilled some milk. _He had performed _uncontrolled _magic. He had done nothing punishable. Surely Vernon couldn't intend to withhold two days' worth of meals from a toddler.

Vernon headed angrily toward her son, not seeing the milk on the floor. His foot slipped, and he wobbled back and forth comically before crashing to the floor.

Lily would have laughed, if his reaction hadn't been so un-funny.

"VERNON!"

"MAKE IT A WEEK!" screamed the infuriated man, scrambling to get up. He grabbed Harry by the back of his oversized shirt and dragged the boy down the hall.

"NO CUBBAD! NO CUBBAD! NO CUBBAD!" Harry was yelling at the top of his lungs.

"YES, CUPBOARD! YOU'VE BEEN BAD!"

Lily followed, tears of rage filling her eyes as Vernon dragged her son to the cupboard under the stairs, slammed it shut and locked it from the outside.

"Harry!" she cried, but no one heard her, not even the little boy inside the cupboard, who was still crying and begging to be let out. Lily hurried forward to oblige him, but the dream began to fade. The cupboard seemed further away. Lily ran more furiously, screaming, "NO!" at the top of her lungs. She had to let her baby out, she had to save him, why, why, weren't her legs working?

Then, nothing but black. Lily used a few choice words that were favorites of Sirius' before slipping into oblivion.

* * *

><p>"What's got <em>your <em>knickers in a twist?" Sirius said grumpily as Lily snapped at him for the fifth time since she'd emerged from her room to make dinner. Sirius was letting Clara hold onto his index finger as she slept. If she wasn't still shaken up about her vision, Lily would have considered this picture adorable.

Lily shrugged. "Just a dream I had." She had not told either Remus or Sirius about her visions of Harry, unsure of the reason why.

"Nightmare?" Sirius sympathized. While his dreams of Azkaban had faded, he clearly still thought of them often. He stroked Clara's face with his free hand.

"Pretty much," Lily responded evasively. _Isn't it every mother's worst nightmare to see her child hurt in _any _way?_

"What about?"

Lily was silent.

"It's usually better to talk about it, you know," Sirius said, shooting her a sidelong glance.

Lily sighed. "I don't know what to make of it," she said honestly, pulling a box of pasta out of a cupboard and Summoning a pot from a drawer with her wand.

"Well, I could help with that," Sirius said. "Or Remus, when he gets up. He's better at dream interpreting than I am, I think."

"I don't even know if it was a dream," Lily said, filling the pot and turning the stove on. With a flick of her wand, the water was boiling, and she added the pasta. She allowed it to simmer and turned to look at Sirius.

"Was it a prophecy, then?" Sirius asked, curious.

Lily shook her head. "It couldn't be," she said firmly.

Sirius looked a bit frustrated. "Couldn't you just tell me what it was about?" he asked

"Padfoot, I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Sirius said with a _this-isn't-over-and-I'm-still-concerned-about-you_ tone.

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Professor Dumbledore,<strong>

**Thank you for the flowers you sent me after the attack. I'm sorry I haven't written you sooner—everything has been crazy around here. It's settled down now, though. I've enclosed pictures of Clara—nearly two months now, can you believe it?**

**Everyone is doing well, for now, though I imagine that will change once Voldemort has officially taken over the Ministry. Why do you think he's waiting so long?**

**Remus says thank you for the card you sent him while he was in St. Mungo's and wants me to inform you that he is perfectly fit now (I'm still getting him to bed early, though—he thinks I'm over-mothering.) Sirius wanted me to, quote, "tell the old coot I say hello," though I doubt he'll take kindly to my phrasing it that way in my letter. I thought you would find it amusing.**

**I'm fairly certain that this is the closest our world will be to normal for a long time, so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.**

**Love,**

**Lily**

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Quite an emotional rollercoaster this chapter, no? On this note, we'll be leaving Lily and family for a while, giving them time to heal—so this is your heads up on a time jump, story-wise._

_It's also important to note that this weekend marks the end of my winter university break, which means updates from here on out may be less frequent. Have no fear, though, I'm staying a little ahead of you guys as I write and post, so I won't be all and out stopping updates. I'm here to stay._

_Thanks for reading, all, and thanks to anyone who's reviewed. Review replies may also become less possible as I become busier with the semester ahead. I still read them and love them, of course, and I'll do my best. _


	9. The Big Reddish Bird

Chapter 9. The Big Reddish Bird

"Sev'rus!" exclaimed a little girl, jet black hair flying out behind her as she barreled over to the front door to welcome the newcomer.

Severus staggered as she collided painfully with his legs, clutching them in an excited three-year-old hug. "Happy birthday, Clara," he said, scooping her up into his arms. "Are you having a good day?"

"Padfoot got me a new toy broom-tick!" Clara exclaimed joyfully.

"It's a broom_stick, _Clara," Remus corrected amusedly, leaning on the doorway from the living room.

"Yeah, broom-sick," Clara laughed. "Remus got me a play-wand an' Mummy got me a bran'-new _big girl _bed."

Severus laughed. "Did she now?"

"Yeah, bu' our room's too small for her bed _and _mine, I think," Clara said wisely.

Severus carried her into the living room. Wrapping paper lay strewn everywhere. Lily was seated on the sofa, smiling at Sirius as he explained the broomstick to her, but when Severus walked in, she leapt to her feet to give him a hug. "Hi, Sev," she greeted. "You're late—we had to start without you!"

"Annoying Ravenclaw stayed after class to ask me a question about her homework," Severus explained. He pulled his own gift out and set it on the floor.

Clara dove to the present immediately. She ripped off the beautiful paper unceremoniously and pulled open the resulting box. "BOOKS!" she screamed, pulling one out and staring at the cover as though she could read it.

"Books, Snape?" Sirius teased, lounging on the sofa. "Couldn't be more original than that?"

Severus sneered slightly. "This from the man that has given her a toy broomstick for every single one of her three birthdays."

"She gets bigger every year," Sirius defended. "And the old one didn't hold her anymore."

Lily opened her mouth to tell them off, as she did every time they bickered, but, surprisingly, Clara beat her to it.

"Knock it off, boys," Clara said, not looking up from her new books, which, as she had discovered, had magically animated illustrations inside.

Lily, Severus, and Sirius stared at her in stupefaction. Remus fell to the floor, holding his stomach with laughter, rolling about on the floor.

"You okay, Moony?" Clara said, watching him with interest.

Remus could hardly control himself. "She...sounds exactly...like you...Lily," he made out.

By this time, Severus and Sirius were chuckling, too, leaving only Lily staring at her daughter as though not sure who she was.

"You shouldn't be laughing," she snapped good-naturedly at Severus and Sirius. "It just means there's another person looking out to make sure you two don't fight so much!"

"But we like it," Sirius protested. Severus had seated himself beside Clara, who was demanding that one of her new books be read to her, immediately.

Lily, Remus, and Sirius quieted to listen, too, as Severus opened a book, and began in his silky tones, "Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, a king and queen ruled over a distant land. The queen was a kind, lovely, and powerful witch, but the one thing she wished for she could not make by magic: a child of her own.

"One day, as she was charming her needlepoint to finish itself by the window, she lost control of the magic and the needle jabbed her in the finger. She dropped her wand and a tiny drop of blood fell out of the window and onto the snow below. She gazed at it and said, 'Oh, how I wish that I had a daughter whose skin was as white as snow, whose lips were as red as blood, and whose hair was as black as ebony—"

"What's ebony?" Clara interrupted, heretofore entranced with the story.

Severus lifted a strand of Clara's hair and held it out so Clara could see. "See that color? That's ebony."

"Okay," Clara said, snuggling closer to Severus so she could see the pictures better.

Severus went on to tell the story of the beautiful queen, who had her daughter, named Snow White, and died soon after. Snow White's father remarried, to an ugly witch who had dabbled in Dark Magic, and who had a magic Mirror...

The room remained silent until Severus finished, "—and the evil witch queen was banished from the land forever, and Snow White and her prince lived happily ever after."

"Am I like Snow White, Mummy?" Clara asked, turning to her mother.

Lily knelt by her. "Well, you certainly look like her," she said, brushing Clara's black hair with her fingers. "But you don't need any prince to rescue you. You're a warrior."

"I am?"

Lily nodded and smiled sweetly.

"But I want t' be a princess!"

"Princesses can be warriors, too," Sirius put in.

Clara calmed. "All right then," she said definitively. "I'll be both! Can I have cake now?"

"Yes, of course," Lily said with a smile, taking Clara's hand and getting to her feet. "I'm sure Padfoot and his ever-empty stomach have been waiting for you to ask."

* * *

><p>"<em>Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee,<em>

_All through the night,_

_Guardian angels Dad will send thee,_

_All through the night._

_Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,_

_Hill and dale in slumber sleeping,_

_I my loved one's watch am keeping,_

_All through the night."_

Clara's eyes drifted shut as Lily finished the last note of the lullaby. "Mummy," she said softly, "why doesn't Daddy ever sing t' me?"

Lily swallowed. They had discussed that neither Sirius nor Remus were her father, but Clara had difficulty understanding the concept of death. "Daddy _is _singing to you," she said quietly. "But he's far away, so you can't hear him."

"As far as the stars?" Clara asked sleepily.

Lily nodded. "As far as the stars."

Clara seemed to accept that answer. "Is he s'ying Happy Birthday t' me?" Clara whispered.

"Yes, he is," Lily answered, choking back tears.

Clara didn't say anything more, her eyes fluttering from sleep.

Lily got up off the edge of the bed and headed toward the door. She struck her foot on the edge of her bed and bit her tongue to keep from cursing. _We need a bigger house, _she thought to herself, emerging from the room she and her daughter shared.

She picked up wrapping paper and put gifts on the side of the room. "Our life is too normal," she decided out loud.

"How so?" Remus asked from the doorway. He was holding two cups of tea and wordlessly offered Lily one.

"It's been _three years, _Remus," Lily said, accepting it. "Next to nothing has happened for _three years_. I know Severus says that Voldemort's been abroad, gathering followers, but something is sure to happen soon."

"Maybe Voldemort has given up," Remus suggested hopefully.

Lily laughed humorlessly. "Fat chance."

Remus kissed her forehead. "Don't worry so much, Lil," he said warmly. "Enjoy the lull."

Lily smiled and watched him go into his room.

"I will," she said to the air. "As long as it lasts."

* * *

><p>"I'm just saying, it would be nice to have a bigger room, at least," Lily said. "I could try magically expanding it, I suppose, but it's hard enough to do with a car; a room is so much bigger. And the spell wouldn't last very long."<p>

Remus sipped his orange juice. "You and Clara could switch with Sirius," he suggested. "The attic is bigger."

"Yeah, but it's drafty," Sirius put in, leaning his chair back on two legs. "And there are mice. I can catch them as Padfoot, but..."

Lily shuddered. "No attic, then."

Clara pushed her bowl of dry cereal away from herself. "Me no like," she said.

"I don't like this," Lily corrected gently, but her speech was interrupted by a tap at the kitchen window. "That'll be the post."

Lily sorted through the mail as Remus pursued _The Daily Prophet. _Sirius attempted to get Clara to eat her breakfast.

"We could move," Remus suggested mildly, returning to their conversation.

Lily, still flipping through the mail, answered, "Where to? I suppose we could fix up James' and my old cottage." She sounded far less than enthusiastic.

"No, I won't put you through those memories," Remus assured her. "I was thinking more along the lines of a new place, but none of us have got the money we'd need for a bigger place, not even Sirius."

"Huh?" Sirius looked up at the mention of his name.

Lily waved her hand. "Nothing," she said dismissively. "Oh, wait, you've got a letter." She slipped it across the table to him.

Sirius ripped it open and scanned it.

"Fan mail?" Remus asked, teasing. Sirius had gotten a steady stream of 'Oh, you're so brave' mail when the trial had first been over, and he still got the occasional letter from his most die-hard of fans.

Sirius didn't answer. Lily saw him return to the beginning of the letter and reread, carefully this time. By the time he was done, both Lily and Remus were watching him curiously, and even Clara seemed inquisitive as to what had caused the adults to be so uncharacteristically quiet.

Sirius set the letter aside and gave them a broad grin. "You said you needed a house?" he asked rhetorically. "I can deliver."

Lily spluttered. "H-how?"

Still smiling, Sirius responded, "My dear old mum finally got around to kicking the bucket."

"Your mother's _dead?_" Remus demanded, shocked.

Sirius nodded happily. "She left the house to Regulus, since I was disowned, but since _he's_ dead, the house automatically went to me, as the sole heir."

"So you have a house," Lily clarified.

"Yep," Sirius affirmed. "Want to move?"

* * *

><p>Lily thought wistfully of the last time she had 'moved,' right after they had broken Sirius out of prison. That had been a false move; Lily hadn't really had any possessions to move at all, just empty suitcases. The only thing she'd had to worry about was making it look real to the neighbors. It had been fun, even.<p>

This was not fun.

"Why do people move?" she demanded to herself as she finished packing a box and shrunk it with a muttered, "_Reducio._"

She slipped the cardboard box into a rucksack that had been magically expanded with an Undetectable Expansion Charm.

Remus walked up next to her and slipped another box into the bag. "Hey," he said. "It'd be a lot harder without magic. Muggles use these huge trucks, and they have to hire people—"

"I _know _what Muggles use," Lily snapped, pushing her sweaty red hair out of her face. "Clara," she said exasperatedly. "For the last time, do _not _keep taking your toys out of that box!"

Clara whipped her hand out of the box and adopted a convincingly innocent look that she had undoubtedly learned from Sirus. "I boooored," she complained.

"Whiners don't get desserts," Lily warned, tone neutral.

Clara ducked her head and looked properly apologetic. "Sorry," she said.

Sirius came into the room with a huge cardboard box and said, "Hey, Clara, look at this!" He directed his wand at the paintings on the wall and cried, "_Pack!_"

Clara giggled as the paintings soared from the wall and tumbled into the box without ceremony. Lily sighed in frustration. "Sirius," she chided. "Straighten up that box right now. It's just a mess, and I _thought _we said that we wouldn't use magic to pack because we won't have the slightest idea where anything is when we open the boxes!"

Sirius shrugged, unfazed. "Doesn't matter," he said merrily. "I wouldn't have remembered anything that was in mine anyways."

Remus choked back a laugh. "You really _are _glad that your mum's dead, aren't you?"

"Evil old hag," Sirius responded promptly. "And she wasn't my mum. Mrs. Potter was my mum. Walburga was my _mother_."

"You really hated her that much?" Lily asked wonderingly.

"Yep," Sirius said cheerfully, and directed his wand at the dishes inside the kitchen. "_Pack!_" he cried.

Lily shook her head slowly in amusement as Clara giggled madly and followed Sirius into the kitchen.

_CRASH._

"Oops."

_Lovely, _Lily thought to herself and decided to go see that no one was injured, but judging by the giggling, she was fairly sure that only the china had been hurt.

* * *

><p>Lily looked skeptically at the front of the house. "It's so...dirty," she said, disgusted.<p>

"It's London," Sirius said, as though this should be obvious. "And a rather old part of it, as well."

"Come on, then," Remus said, pulling open the wrought iron gate. Lily, with Clara by the hand, stepped inside.

Sirius strode up the walk ahead of them, shaking his head and muttering, "I really never thought I'd be coming back here. _Alohamora._"

The door opened with a click. Remus, Lily, and Clara slipped past him. Lily wrinkled up her nose at the dust that had accumulated. She dropped the rucksack with a loud clatter.

At once, she wished she hadn't.

"WHO DARES TO DESTURB THE HOUSE OF MY FOREFATHERS?" demanded a screeching voice from down the hall.

Sirius pushed past them. "_Mother?_" he said incredulously.

"YOU!" yelled the voice. "NO! THE HOUSE WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO REGULUS!"

Sirius went a little ways down the hall. Lily, Remus and Clara watched as he slumped in relief. "It's all right," he called. "It's just her painting. I'd forgotten it was here."

Hesitantly, the three approached.

"YOU IMBICLE, YOU FLOBBERWORM, YOU DISLOYAL BAS—"

"OI!" shouted Sirius. "THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL HERE!"

The painting calmed visibly. The woman inside peered out at Clara, who was watching the older woman quizzically, apparently unaffected by Walburga's screams. Lily could be much louder when she was in a rage. "Mummy, who's 'sat?" she whispered to Lily. Lily smiled but didn't answer.

"Is she yours?" Walburga demanded of her son. "She looks like you."

"No, she's mine," Lily said firmly. "Mine and James Potter's."

Walburga looked interested. "Ah, so Potter finally found himself a nice woman, eh?" she said. "What's your maiden name?"

"Evans, ma'am," Lily said, seeing where this was going fast.

Walburga paused. "Foreign family?" she asked hopefully.

"No, ma'am. Muggles," Lily responded.

"YOU DARED TO BRING A MUDBLOOD AND HER FILTHY BRAT INTO MY HOUSE?!"

"DON'T CALL LILY A YOU-KNOW-WHAT!" Remus yelled. This was the first time he'd spoken since they entered.

"AND YOUR LITTLE WEREWOLF FRIEND, TOO?!" Walburga screeched.

"All right, that's enough," Sirius said tiredly and Conjured a set of curtains over the portrait. "That'll keep her until we can decide what to do about the Permanent Sticking Charm."

Lily frowned and pulled Clara closer. "Permanent Sticking Charm? How do you know there is one?"

"I know my mother," Sirius said grimly. "Anyone hungry? Kitchen's downstairs."

"Me!" sang Clara and tugged on Sirius's robes. "Who's 'at lady?" she asked, skipping to keep up with Sirius' long strides as they went towards the stairs.

Sirius bent down and hefted her into his arms. "_That _was your Great-Aunt Walburga," he said with a dazzling smile. "I'd avoid her if I were you. She's not very nice."

"She yell a lot," Clara agreed cheerfully. She looked around. "This place's real dirty."

Lily, who was Scourgifying everything as she passed toward the kitchen, muttered to Remus, "That was very gallant of you to come to my defense, Moony, but it was also wholly unnecessary."

"I know," Remus said, adding his own Cleaning Charms to Lily's. "I've just never liked Sirius' mother."

Lily laughed at his nonchalant tone and asked, "Did you and the other Marauders spend summers here, then?"

"Only one," Remus said. "After fourth year. We'd spent the summer after first year at James', and the summer after second year at my house, third year's at Peter's, so Sirius thought it was his turn. We didn't stay very long: we left for James' after two weeks. Walburga found out that I was a werewolf, and that Peter and I were half-bloods. She only ever liked James."

Lily scoffed slightly. "She _liked _James after fourth year? He was an insufferable prat!"

"She was an insufferable bi—"

"Moony!"

"Bimbo," Remus finished promptly. "Sorry, Lil."

Lily waved off his apology. "Shall we get down to the kitchen before dear Sirius and Clara destroy any more of our cookware?"

"We shall," Remus responded, echoing her pompous tone. He offered his arm. "My lady?"

Lily swatted him. "I'm not your lady," she said playfully. "Find your own."

"Perhaps I someday shall," Remus said, still playacting. "For now, though, I shall settle myself with calling you 'my lady,' if only to antagonize you. My lady."

Lily smacked him upside the head.

"Such violence," Remus muttered, rubbing his head. "I think I may be permanently injured."

"There's nothing under that skull to injure," Lily teased. Remus looked highly affronted and dropped into a crouch.

"Be careful, my lady, or the werewolf might bite you."

Lily squealed as he ran towards her. She fled down the stairs and through the kitchen door, giggling in an almost Clara-worthy fashion.

Sirius was seated at the kitchen table with Clara on his lap, talking with her. When Lily and Remus entered, still playing werewolf, he looked up, then said to Clara, "Mummy and Moony are very silly, aren't they? Yes, they are."

Clara laughed. "Silly!" she cried happily, beaming.

Lily dropped out of the game and came over. "No food around, Padfoot? I thought you'd be stuffing your face by now."

Before Sirius could answer, the flames of the fireplace glowed green and Severus Snape tumbled out, covered in soot and wild-eyed with horror.

"Lily!" he cried and registered the scene before him. Lily came around the table and he gathered her in a crushing hug. "I thought...I thought..." he breathed.

"There, there," Lily said, patting him awkwardly on the back, or trying to, as he had her arms pinned against her sides.

"What happened?" Remus asked. Severus ignored him, focusing on pulling Lily tighter.

Clara, who had seemed to gather the seriousness of the situation, did not greet her godfather as exuberantly as she usually did. Instead, she said quietly, "Sev, why you choking Mummy?" She clutched Sirius around the neck gently as though afraid Severus would take her from Sirius and hug her like that, as well.

Severus released Lily as though she was on fire, and Lily took a deep breath. "Sev, what's going on?" she demanded.

"He's back," Severus said. "He's back in the country. He's back."

Lily frowned. "What did he do?"

Severus sank into one of the kitchen chairs and the others gathered around him. "He ordered attacks on all known remaining members of the Order of the Phoenix. Ted and Andromeda Tonks' house was burned down, Dedalus Diggle only just got out of his house, Sturgis Podmore and his mother were killed, Emmeline Vance still hasn't been found, just a Dark Mark above her house..."

Silence reigned.

"And when I got to Remus' house and none of you were there...I knew you were moving today, but if you hadn't left when you did..." Severus trailed off suggestively. He took Clara from Sirius and hugged her gently, bouncing her on his knee.

For a moment, nobody said anything. Then, Sirius said, "Are Ted and Dromeda okay? And their daughter?"

Severus nodded. "Ted sustained some massive burns, and he lost his wand to the fire. He's still in St. Mungo's. But Andromeda is all right, and Nymphadora is still at school."

"Still in St. Mungo's?" Remus repeated curiously. "But a trained Healer can mend burns in about a second."

"It was Fiendfyre," Severus said.

"Oh," Remus said, not knowing what else to say. Fiendfyre burns would take a long time to recover from. Most Fiendfyre burns were fatal.

"Was that all the attacks?" Lily queried, fearing the answer.

Severus shook his head. "Those were the only injuries, though. Thankfully, Dumbledore got wind of the attack about five minutes before-hand and was able to evacuate other families. Their homes were destroyed, but no one else was killed."

"So, Remus' house..." Lily trailed off.

"Gone," Severus said. "Destroyed."

Remus lifted one shoulder and let it fall. "I guess that'll make it a little harder to sell," he said dryly. No one laughed.

"How did Dumbledore find out about the attacks?" Sirius wanted to know.

Severus stared at him levelly, arching his eyebrows in a _did-you-really-just-ask-me-that _motion.

"Oh," Sirius said lamely. "Nice job, Snape."

"Forgive me for a moment while I bask in your approval, Black," Severus said snarkily. He turned to Lily. "I tried to get to your house to warn you, but your fireplace had been taken off the Floo Network."

"We did that a long time ago," Lily said. "Just after Clara was born, after...you know." _After Voldemort tracked Neville through the Floo Network, _hung unsaid in the air.

"Well, you scared me," Severus admitted. He stood and let Clara slide to the ground, patting her on the top of her head.

"Can't you stay?" Lily asked immediately. "I was about to make tea, and—"

"You were?" put in Sirius.

"—and we could always use an extra pair of hands to unpack," Lily finished, shooting an irritated glance at Sirius. "Unless there's something we can do to help pick up the pieces after the attack? Unpacking can wait."

Severus sat back down. "It's mostly finding places for the people whose homes were destroyed," Severus said. "Dumbledore is housing some at Hogwarts, but it can only be temporary unless he hires them as staff. School board rules."

"He'll figure something out," Sirius said confidently.

Severus hesitated. "There's also been some talk of reorganizing the Order of the Phoenix," he said. "Rather than be picked off one by one."

Sighs of relief echoed around the table. "Good," Lily said. "I don't like feeling like we're on our own."

Nobody said anything.

Then, Clara, who had been sitting on the floor, pouting over being slightly ignored by the adults, piped up, "Stowytime?" She directed her gaze to Severus.

"I have a story," Lily interrupted before Severus could answer. "It's about a little girl that helps her mummy find places to put all the beautiful things in the little magical boxes. Want to act it out with me, Clara?"

Clara got to her feet, her three-year-old brain working furiously. "You tricking me?" she asked Lily.

"Maybe a little bit," Lily answered.

Clara slipped her hand into Lily's and shrugged. "Okay. Where the magic'l boxes?"

Lily shared a private smile with the three men at the kitchen table over her daughter's head. _That's my girl, _she thought. _Realizing she's being manipulated. _Her mothering side filled with worry as she led the little girl up the stairs. _She shouldn't have to know these things, _the mother in her said.

_Shut up, _Lily told the voice in her head firmly. _There's a war on, and Clara's got to know when a Death Eater is manipulating her. Except, with the Death Eater, the manipulation will be me or Sirius or Remus or Severus in trouble, and she'll have to choose between saving us and saving herself._

_I hope this war is over before she's old enough to remember it._

_But it's not very likely._

* * *

><p>"So, who's going to take the master bedroom?" Lily asked, poring over the floorplan of the house that Sirius had dug up. "Padfoot, do you want it?"<p>

"And sleep in the place where my mother and father slept? In the same bed?" Sirius shuddered. "No thanks. You have it."

"I don't want it," Lily said. "Too big, I think, for me. Moony?"

Remus shook his head. He finished putting the plates in a cupboard and came over. "Why doesn't Sirius just take his old room?" he suggested, pointing to the topmost floor of the house. "I can take Regulus' old room."

Lily picked up her quill and inked this in. "That all right with you, Padfoot?"

"Yeah," Sirius responded. "Why don't we change the master bedroom into a playroom for Clara, and then she can sleep in the smaller bedroom on that floor. Lily, you can go below her, on the second floor, and the first floor bedroom can be for guests."

Lily looked at him, impressed. "I knew there was a reason we kept you around," she said with a smile. She added this to the floorplan and beamed. "That looks perfect."

"We can add a room, here," Remus said, pointing to a spot on the floorplan just off the kitchen, under the stairs. "For me to transform in. It doesn't have to be big—a square meter would suffice."

"A square meter isn't big enough for two," Sirius objected ominously. "And don't you do better in open spaces anyway?"

Remus paused. "We aren't going to get any open spaces here, not unless we run around London at night, which we won't. You saw how I was when I was just in a regular sized basement—I was harder to control, you admitted that. We've got even less space here."

"So?" Lily said, frowning at the pair.

"So building a small, heavily padded room that I can be in safely alone is a much better idea than hoping Sirius can control me. That was a stupid plan we came up with as thirteen year olds, and it's time we laid it to rest."

Lily looked pensive. "He's right, Padfoot," she said after a moment. "It could be safer for everyone."

Sirius glowered. "This is ridiculous," he said, shaking his head, his stormy eyes betraying his doubts. "Fine, you two win. Again. _So_, with the building and the cleaning, we're going to be doing a lot of throwing things out," Sirius warned. "It'll be difficult, especially because of—"

A shrill scream shattered the relative quiet of the kitchen. All three adults leapt to their feet and looked around for Clara.

She was standing in the corner of the kitchen, her hand on the doorknob of the open boiler room door, and face to face with—

"Kreacher," Sirius spat. Lily wasn't sure if he was acknowledging the house-elf's presence or finishing his earlier sentence.

Clara turned tail and ran to hide behind Remus' legs. "Wha' is it, Moony?" she asked him quietly.

"It's a house-elf," Remus answered in a whisper, before shushing her as Sirius advanced on Kreacher.

"Why is the house so dirty, Kreacher?"Sirius asked angrily. "Answer me."

Kreacher shuffled his feet. "Kreacher was busy."

"Busy," Sirius repeated. "Doing what?"

Kreacher didn't answer.

"Tell me!"

"Kreacher had to save the heirlooms of the noble House of Black, Mistress would never forgive Kreacher if he allowed Master to throw away her treasures, and Kreacher knew Master would try, Kreacher had to stop Master," the house-elf muttered.

"So you've been spiriting things away into that boiler room of yours, have you?" Sirius said resignedly. "Well, that doesn't matter, not much anyway..."

"—nasty Master, traitorous Master, Kreacher would give anything to not be Master's house-elf—"

"Hey!" It was Clara. She had stepped out from behind Remus and looked incredibly angry. "Don't say mean things 'bout Padfoot!"

"Who is this, Kreacher wonders, not a new little Mistress, else Kreacher would have to obey her orders, but still important enough to Master to defend him, same temperament as Master, just as hot-headed..."

"My name is Clara Alice Potter," Clara said, drawing herself up so that she stood perhaps an inch or two over the house-elf. "An' Padfoot's my mummy's best friend. So don't be mean."

"—little half-blood girl who speaks to me as though she is better than pureblood—"

Clara looked crestfallen as Kreacher continued to mutter obscenely.

"Never mind, Clara," Sirius said gently to her before turning back to Kreacher. "Kreacher, go back into your cupboard and don't come out until you can be civil to everyone and are willing to help with the clean-up without spiriting away trinkets of my mother's."

Kreacher turned around and slammed the boiler room door.

Remus snickered. "He'll never come out."

"Huge loss," Sirius retorted.

Lily smiled and picked Clara up. "Be careful, Padfoot, you're letting Moony and me teach you sarcasm."

"Oh, no!" Sirius said playfully. He came over and chucked Clara under her chin. "You have no hope of growing up normal now."

"Did she ever?" Remus put in.

"Point."

* * *

><p>"Ginny!" cried Clara, rushing forward to hug the older girl.<p>

Ginny returned the hug. "I didna know that you was gonna be here," she said.

"Mum an' Padfoot an' Moony had to talk to P'fessor Dumdore," Clara said, shrugging. "I didn' know there were gonna be so many people here."

She glanced over to the large circle of chairs around Dumbledore's desk.

"Yea, Mummy and Daddy are here, too. They said that they were gonna rejoin the order of the big reddish bird. Can't 'member the real name," Ginny said.

"That would be Phoenix, little sister," said a playful voice from behind Clara. "They just said it, over there." The red-haired boy indicated the circle of chairs with his head.

"Right interesting conversation it is, too," said another, similar voice.

"Perhaps you'd also like to listen?"

"No, George, these girls are too little."

"Perhaps they'd like to feel included, Fred."

"I'm not too little!" Ginny said, outraged.

Clara frowned. "You're mean," she observed. "C'mon, Ginny, let's go play wit' Ron."

Ginny turned up her nose at her brothers and stormed away, Clara by the hand. "Can't wait until they go to Hogwarts," she said.

"I can't wait 'til _I _go to Hogwarts," Clara said wistfully.

"We got to wait a long time," Ginny pointed out. "They going sooner. Three years."

"Yeah," Clara agreed. There was a pause.

"Grown-ups are lookin' real serious," Ginny observed.

Clara followed the red-head's gaze. "We don't need the twins to listen," she pointed out. "We just crawl over by th' desk an' nobody'll see us."

"Okay," Ginny agreed. She dropped to her hands and knees and led the way. Clara followed.

Once huddled down by the desk, the two girls peered around.

"It's not that easy, Professor," one dark-skinned man with a deep voice was saying. "My house isn't even centrally located. It's not warded against Muggles, and people would notice if the building suddenly couldn't be seen. That's more Memory Charms than we want to deal with."

"You're right, Kingsley," said Dumbledore heavily. "Sirius, I don't suppose asking again—"

"Ordinarily, Professor, I wouldn't have any problem letting you use Grimmauld Place as Headquarters. Unfortunately, I just moved my family there. I don't want my home to be a target."

"It's going to be a target anyways, Padfoot," Remus argued. "Just because three known members of the Order live there."

"Remus is right," Lily said, speaking up for the first time. "Making Grimmauld Place into Headquarters isn't going to make it much more dangerous. It might make it even safer, since Professor Dumbledore would add some of his own wards."

"Indeed," Dumbledore agreed.

Clara turned to Ginny and whispered. "What's a headquarter?"

"Don't know," Ginny answered softly. "Shh."

"We'll have to think about it," Sirius was responding doubtfully.

"Don't take too long," Dumbledore warned. "The sooner we can find a place for Headquarters, the better."

Sirius nodded and exchanged glances with Lily and Remus.

Lily glanced at her wristwatch. "Well, as we've come to an impasse, I suggest we wrap up this little reunion," she said cheerfully, rising to her feet. "I can think of one little someone who should be in bed, and I'm sure Molly can think of a few more."

With murmurs of agreement and farewell, the members of the Second Formation of the Order of the Phoenix disbanded. The new members could use the Floo Network without fear of being tracked by the Ministry. Known members went by unauthorized Portkey or the Knight Bus.

"Come on, Clara," Lily said, scooping her daughter into her arms. "Time to go home. It'll be your first night sleeping in a room of your own."

* * *

><p>Clara fiddled with her sheets, pushing them back and forth. Her quilt and other bedding had been unpacked and put on the old four-poster bed in the small bedroom on the third floor.<p>

Small was a relative term, or so Clara registered. Just because Lily's, Sirius', and Remus' rooms were bigger, it didn't make this room smaller. It was bigger than her room at Remus' house. And more empty. Cavelike. Still-packed boxes filled the room like stalagmites.

The dim lantern that floated lazily about only made the room seem more frightening. It cast corners of the room into shadow, making the shadows perform a war dance on her walls.

Clara stared up at the purple hangings on her bed. Silver stars and moons had been stitched into them, but the dim light made the glowing light they reflected seem like the beams of terrifying spells.

With a small squeak, Clara slipped out of her bed and padded barefoot into the hall. Out here it was even more dim and frightening, but going back into her room alone did not cross Clara's mind.

She slipped down the stairs and onto the second floor landing, where she opened Lily's door with a creak. "Mummy?" she whispered into the pitch-blackness of Lily's bedroom. The sound of bedclothes stirring met her ears.

"Clara?" said Lily's voice, murky with sleep.

"Can't sleep," Clara said. "Scary cave."

Lily sighed patiently and got up. She took Clara by the hand and led her back up the stairs. "You're a big girl, now, Clara," she said gently and patted the bed. Clara climbed up and snuggled beneath the covers. Lily patted the comforter around her, stroking Clara's black hair. "A little warrior. Tomorrow you can be an explorer and look around the house with me, okay?"

Clara nodded, wrinkling her button nose. "I still have t' sleep now?" she guessed.

"You can't be all worn out if we're going to be adventurers together," Lily said. She pulled out her wand and brightened the night-lantern a bit. "There you go."

"Sing to me?" Clara asked.

"I already sang," Lily said quietly, but she obliged anyways. When she finished with, "_I my loved one's watch am keeping, all through the night,_" she whispered, "Good night, my little angel," and slipped out of the room.

It had been nice singing, Clara thought. Lily had a pretty voice, if a little raspy when she was tired. _I'm a warrior, _she thought to herself. _Not allowed to be scared of a cave. _The brightened light helped a little, but the lantern still cast shadows on the walls that Clara couldn't keep her eyes from.

Before she quite knew what she was doing, her feet were on the floor again, and she had left her room, her little feet making creaks on the stairs, going up this time. She pulled open the door with the sign on it, first. If she could have read it, she would have known it read, _Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black. _Clara crept inside.

"Moony?" she said into the darkness.

"Go back to bed," Remus groaned.

Clara pouted. She wasn't sure he'd even woken up. She turned and entered the room across the landing, giving the door a slight push to enter.

"Padfoot?" she queried. "Padfoot, I scared. I don' wanna sleep alone ina cave."

There was a rustling, and Clara heard a clicking noise come towards her across the wooden floor. She reached out a hand into the dark and met black fur. She smiled and gripped it.

* * *

><p>"Clara," Lily called quietly, opening the door to Clara's room. Sunlight streamed through the window. She started slightly at the tableau before her, and then smiled.<p>

Clara was sleeping on the edge of her bed with her arms around a huge black dog. The dog was snoring slightly and drooling on the pillow.

The little girl smiled in her sleep and pulled her guardian closer, burying her face in his fur. Lily watched them a while before retreating. It was too charming to interrupt.

But she _would_ have to have a word with Sirius about teaching Clara to sleep by herself.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) I'm back! This semester is shaping up to be a very busy one for me, but I'll do my best to keep updates semi-regular._

_I would love to hear thoughts on this chapter. I tried to use it to set up what's going to be happening now after 3 years of more or less inactivity on Voldemort's part, at least where our little family is concerned._

_Reviews are always welcome and appreciated!_


	10. Number Nine

**Warning: **Brief, semi-graphic description of injuries. Not really sure what warrants warnings, here. Feel free to let me know how it's working for you.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 10. Number Nine<span>

Her room looked kindlier in daylight, Clara decided. Its freshly painted lavender walls filled the room with the smell of...

Clara sniffed and wrinkled her nose. _Badness,_ she decided. It filled the room with the smell of badness. But it would smell better when it dried.

"Clara?" called Lily from downstairs. "Breakfast!"

Clara scooted down the worn wooden stairs on her backside, one at a time. It was slow going, but better than falling face forwards down them.

"Need a little assistance, princess?" Remus asked.

"Me up, Moony?" Clara asked with a winning smile. Remus scooped her into his arms and continued down the stairs. "What asitence?" Clara wondered curiously.

"Assistance," Remus corrected as they reached the first floor landing. "It means help."

"Why didn' you jus' say 'help?'" Clara asked, confused.

"Because I'm a silly man, Clara," Remus responded as he started down the basement stairs.

"You can say that again," called a voice from inside the kitchen. Clara slipped out of Remus' arms and flew inside. "But don't," the voice added.

Sirius caught Clara as she raced toward him and greeted her as Remus responded, "Come on, Padfoot, would I?"

Lily came over from the stove and set a plate of eggs and toast on the table. She looked Remus up and down and said, "Yes, you definitely would."

Remus pouted slightly.

"That's cuter on Clara than it is on you, Moony," Sirius said with a laugh, helping himself to eggs. "As a matter of fact, on you, it's downright embarrassing."

"Oh, like you've never done anything embarrassing," Remus retorted.

Sirius took a huge bite and responded, "'Ave 'ot."

"Have too," Remus countered. "What about the time you tried to turn Snape's hair pink and accidentally got yourself? And then didn't know the countercharm?"

Sirius choked. "You remember that?" he demanded when he'd recovered.

"He remembers everything," Lily put in, sitting down and serving Clara her breakfast. "You should remember _that_ the next time you decide to tell him you've never done anything embarrassing."

"I take it as a challenge," Remus said seriously, his eyes dancing.

Sirius rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "Merlin, what did I do to deserve this family?" he asked.

"Absolutely nothing," Lily said cheerfully. "But you've got us anyways."

The breakfast went on in amicable silence for a while.

"So," Lily said after a while. "You know where Remus and I stand on the Headquarters issue, Sirius, but in the end it's your decision. Did you decide?"

Sirius shrugged and swallowed a piece of toast. "I don't get it, Lily; I thought you'd be the one opposed to it."

"If Clara's going to grow up in the middle of a war, I'd much rather she knows about it and how to handle it than keep it from her. _And _I'd rather she be among the best witches and wizards of the age, all of whom would be willing to die to protect her and others like her from harm."

"You think the people at the meeting last night would do that?" Remus asked curiously.

"You think they wouldn't?" Lily countered. Remus looked down at his breakfast and was silent.

A long moment went on and no one spoke.

"All right," Sirius said heavily. "I'll owl Dumbledore after breakfast. Grimmauld Place can be Headquarters."

Lily and Remus' jubilant responses to this were cut short by Clara's irritable, "_What_'s a _headquarter_?"

* * *

><p>People coming, people going. Clara had taken to watching from the first floor landing, her legs hanging out between the bars and swinging back and forth through midair. Lily had chided her many times for it, but living with Padfoot and Moony had taught her to not <em>always <em>listen when Lily lectured her.

Lily, Padfoot, and Moony were busy unpacking, cooking for members of the Order, and cleaning up the messes that Kreacher had left around the house. Kreacher, incidentally, had not come out of the boiler room since that first night almost a week ago, which made Clara laugh a little. Clearly he didn't know how to be nice.

People kept flooding in and out of the house. None of them ever had time to play games with Clara, which made her a little angry. Lily always made time for her, though, and Remus and Sirius. And Severus would always bring her a sweet or two when he came.

What peeved Clara most, though, was when all the adults would go into the kitchen and close the door, leaving Clara on strict orders to play quietly in her room. Generally, though, she would tire quickly of playing or 'reading' by herself and would sit outside the kitchen to listen.

The conversations were never particularly interesting, though, and usually involved big words that Clara didn't know. As she listened, the word 'headquarters' was frequented. Clara learned quickly that it meant some sort of safe meeting place for the members of the Order.

Clara was in her usual spot, legs swinging freely through the banister, watching the goings on in the hall below, when footsteps approached loudly behind her.

"Come now, Clara, you know your Mum doesn't like it when you do that," said a silky voice as the footsteps stopped.

"Sev!" Clara cried in greeting and disentangled herself from the bars of the railing. She gave him a hug. "Why you here?"

Severus swung her up into his arms. "Professor Dumbledore asked me to come," he told Clara seriously.

"He gonna give you a mis-sion?" Clara asked, carefully pronouncing the new word, proud to be able to use one of the words she'd picked up while eavesdropping.

Severus looked slightly surprised, but answered anyways. "No, more likely he wants to hear how my current mission is going."

"Going good?" Clara asked, wriggling and sliding to the ground, keeping her grip on one of Severus' legs.

"As well as could be expected," Severus answered. When Clara looked confused at this phrase she didn't know, he clarified. "Yes, it's going well."

Clara gave him a winning smile and asked, "C'n I come an' talk t' P'fessor Dumdore, too?"

"No, Clara," Severus said, kneeling to look her in the face. "You're too little now. Someday."

"Promise?" Clara asked with a disappointed pout.

Severus nodded seriously.

"When?"

Severus let a sigh whistle through his teeth. _When in doubt, always use the easy answer, _he thought, ever-Slytherin. "You'll have to ask your Mum," he said with a smile. He got to his feet and went down the stairs, bidding her goodbye. "Have fun, now."

Clara stared after him, one side of her face scrunched up as she regarded him dissatisfiedly.

_How am I supposed to have fun all by myself? _she thought to herself.

* * *

><p>"The Order now has almost as many people in the Ministry as we do, My Lord. I fear taking it may not be as easy as it could have been."<p>

"But you can give me a list of the Order members, yes?" Voldemort demanded, his eyes glowing red in the firelight as he glowered at Snape.

"Only some, My Lord," Severus admitted. "Many members are wary even amongst themselves. They complete missions but do not allow their names to become associated with them."

"Then the Order has become more cautious since the last time," Voldemort hissed.

Severus bowed his head. "They learn from their mistakes," he said. "Last time they acted with naivety, and many members were killed for it."

"You must focus on getting me a list of the Order members in the Ministry," Voldemort ordered. "Then I can have them weeded out. My control of the Ministry must be absolute before I take it publicly."

"Yes, My Lord."

"To fail would be to give hope to those who dare to defy me," Voldemort growled angrily.

Severus bowed again. "That shall not happen, My Lord. You could never fail."

"I know that," Voldemort snapped. "The only two people who could have hoped to defeat me are dead—both before they reached the age of two. I cannot fail. The Ministry will fall to me. And perhaps that will content me, for a time."

"And then what, My Lord?"

"Hogwarts," Voldemort said softly. "Then, Hogwarts."

* * *

><p>"Remus, <em>be careful,<em>" Lily said for the thousandth time.

Remus shrugged into his coat. "I will, Lily," he promised.

Lily watched him and bit her lip nervously. "You don't have to go," she said quietly.

"You know I do," Remus answered in the same tones. "I'm the only one that can."

Lily's eyes filled with tears and she threw herself into his arms in a vicious hug. "Promise me you'll be careful," she said again.

"I promise."

Sirius thundered down the stairs to join them in the entryway. "Lily, don't strangle him," he said cheerfully. When Lily released Remus, he gripped his friend's arm. "Have fun with the werewolves, ol' chap. Don't get bitten. Oh, wait—"

Remus clouted him upside the head. "I'll miss you too, Padfoot," he said.

"Don't get all wishy-washy on me. I'll see you in three weeks, just before the full moon."

"Moony?" said a little voice from the first landing. "You leaving?"

All three adults looked up to see Clara perched in her usual spot, watching the good-byes. Remus pursed his lips as he thought about what to say. "Will you come down here, please?" he asked finally.

Clara slithered down the stairs. "Why you leaving?"

"I have work to do," Remus said, sitting on the stairs and patting the space next to him. "It's very important."

"You not leaving 'cause of me?" Clara asked. "I'm sorry I put tha' frog unda your pillow! Don't leave!" She looked very close to tears.

Remus smiled. "It's okay, Clara," he said. "I'm not leaving because of you, and I'm not gone for good."

"How long?"

"Three weeks," Remus responded, knowing it would seem an eternity to the three-year-old. "Then I'll be back."

"Promise?" Clara demanded.

Remus hesitated for a moment and glanced at Lily, who was watching him stonily. "I promise," he said, looking back into Clara's hazel eyes.

"Love you, Moony," Clara said seriously, and she pulled him into a hug by his neck.

Remus' eyes softened as he returned the hug. "I love you, too, Clara." He squeezed, then released her and stood. "Well, I'm off. Don't forget to feet Padfoot, Lily."

"Hey!" Sirius objected, but Remus had already disappeared.

Lily's eyes crinkled into a forced smile. "Come on then, pooch," she said to Sirius. "Help me get supper ready."

Sirius sighed, but he shrank to dog form and padded after Lily, receiving a scratch on the ears for his trouble.

Clara continued to stare at the door, puzzled. _What could be important enough to make Moony leave us, even for a little while? _she wondered.

* * *

><p>"Mummy?" Clara asked, coming into the drawing room where Lily was sorting through the glass cabinets.<p>

"Hmm?" Lily responded absently, sparing a fleeting smile for her daughter. She flung a snuffbox into a large garbage bag and turned toward Clara, brushing her hands.

"Big car out front," Clara observed. "Fire engine?"

Lily went to the window and peered out. "No," she laughed. "It's a moving van."

"We didn' have one of those when _we _moved," Clara said reasonably.

"They can't use magic like we can," Lily said. "They're Muggles."

"Oh," Clara said knowingly. She picked up a pretty silver music box and opened it. A lazy, sleepy feeling began to creep over her as the tinkling tune played.

Lily looked alarmed and slammed the box shut. "Don't touch the things in here, Clara," she said, holding her daughter close. "It's dangerous."

"Sorry," Clara said, shamefaced.

"It's all right," Lily allowed, still not releasing her from her hug. "Come on, now, it's almost time for dinner—"

"HELP!" screamed a voice from the front hall. "SOMEBODY! LILY?"

"Remus," Lily breathed, recognizing the voice. "He's not meant to be back for another two weeks—"

"HELP!"

_Worry about that later, _Lily chided herself and sped from the room, dimly aware of Clara hot on her heels.

Wand out, Lily leapt the last few stairs to the ground floor.

"ABOMINATIONS, WEREWOLVES, BLOOD-TRAITORS, MUDBLOODS, RUINING THE PEACE OF MY HOME—"

"You ruined it yourself, you old bat," Sirius spat, emerging from the kitchen, his wand also at the ready. He directed it at the portrait of his mother and the curtains flew closed with a bang.

Lily took in the scene before her and lowered her wand. Remus had staggered through the front door, a deep gash over his eye and a limp figure in his arms. Sirius reached them before Lily did. He took the limp body from Remus and carried it—no, her—past Lily towards the stairs.

"Emmeline," Lily whispered. Emmeline Vance, who had been missing since Voldemort had returned and attacked members of the Order. She slipped her arm under Remus' shoulders and demanded, "What happened?"

Remus shook his head, apparently lost for words. Lily helped him limp down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Moony?" said Clara's voice, small and frightened.

Remus didn't answer her, focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

Clara followed them down into the kitchen, finding Remus settled in a chair with Sirius at his side and Lily waving her wand intricately over Emmeline, who was lying on the table. Blood coated her face and her robes were ripped and darkened with scarlet blood.

Clara went up beside her mother. "Mummy?" she asked quietly, wanting Lily to gather her in her arms and hold her tightly.

"Not now," Lily snapped impatiently, if not unkindly. "Get out of here, Clara, I don't want you to see this."

Clara's eyes filled with tears and she climbed the stairs as quickly as any three-year-old could. She sat panting in the main hall.

_Mummy doesn't want me around, _she thought to herself, sniffling. _Maybe I'd better just leave._

Clara got up and padded to the front door. She turned the knob and slipped silently out the door.

* * *

><p>"We're too late," Remus said, his eyes dull as Lily dabbed at the wound over his eye with a clean cloth. "Voldemort already has the werewolves on his side. All of them."<p>

"Not all of them," Lily corrected gently, throwing him a significant glance.

Remus shrugged. "I don't exactly count," he said. "Anyways, once I got there, I realized how little chance I had. I tried talking to a few of them anyways, but it wasn't working." He winced as Lily carefully removed a piece of gravel from the cut.

"Why didn't you just come home, then?" Sirius wanted to know. "If it was useless..."

"A few of them were willing to listen, at least," Remus explained. "I might have talked them 'round, if it hadn't been for Emmeline."

"What happened?"

Remus grimaced. "Voldemort has promised them fresh-kill in exchange for their loyalty. He handed Emmeline over to them on Monday. They were just keeping her alive until the full moon. Didn't stop them from scratching and biting her 'til she was _nearly _dead, though."

Lily glanced over at the blonde woman who was now sleeping peacefully, many of her wounds healed with significant scarring.

"I saw them bring her in, and I pretty much gave up. I spent the next three days figuring out how to get in to see Emmeline—they didn't trust me at all, you know, called me a 'wand-carrier'—and eventually I got past them," Remus continued. "After that, it was all I could do to get her out of there. I was challenged—I fought, and then I escaped. Just luck, really, that I made it out at all."

"Well," Lily said after a moment of silence. "Thank Merlin you did." She prodded his forehead with her wand and the cut disappeared. "You were limping; is your leg all right?"

"Fine," Remus grunted, but he allowed her to examine it anyways.

* * *

><p>Clara wandered down the street to the left, watching the house numbers dwindle from eleven, to ten, to nine. She stopped beside the huge red moving van to have a look around.<p>

"What're you doing here?" said a voice from behind Clara.

She spun, and found herself facing a young girl of about her own age. The girl was blonde and a little pudgy, with an upturned nose and dark blue eyes. "Nothing," Clara answered.

The girl squinted suspiciously at her before shrugging. "M'name's Phillipa Silsbury," she offered. "What yours?"

"Clara Potter."

"How old're you?"

"Almos' four."

The girl tossed her silvery-blonde hair haughtily. "_I _already _am _four."

"So?" Clara demanded.

"So I'm older 'n you," Phillipa said condescendingly.

"My mum says age don't matter," Clara retorted. She glanced up at the house. "You movin' in here?"

Phillipa nodded. "I don' like it. It's dirty an' old."

"You get used to it," Clara said knowingly. "I lived here a month, or maybe more. I dunno."

"Which one you live in?" Phillipa asked.

Clara almost said 'twelve,' but she bit her lip. _Normal people can't see it, _she reminded herself, and said, "I don' remember."

"Wanna come inside?" Phillipa asked her, letting the housing issue slide quite quickly.

Clara shrugged. "Sure."

Phillipa led the way into number nine, Grimmauld Place. "Come see my room!" she said gleefully, taking Clara's hand and tugging her up the stairs.

The house was perfectly identical to number twelve, so Clara didn't particularly need to be led, but she enjoyed the sensation. Her contact with girls her own age had been limited to Ginny Weasley, who was over a year older than Clara, anyways.

Phillipa led Clara into the first floor bedroom, the room that was a guest chamber at number twelve. Clara looked around with interest. The walls were pale pink with darker pink flowers and butterflies on them. The white-framed bed was brand-new, and plastic was still wrapped around the mattress.

"It's pretty," Clara said politely.

"Thanks," Phillipa said. "It's smaller tha' my room at my old house. We used to live in the country, in a big white house."

"Why'd you move?" Clara asked.

Phillipa shrugged. "Daddy got a new job. He bosses people at the office. What your dad do?"

"He's dead," Clara said.

"Dead?" Phillipa asked, eyes wide. "What that?"

"He's watching over me from far, far away an' taking care of me. But I never see him," Clara explained, repeating Lily's words.

"Oh," Phillipa said, clearly not understanding.

Clara turned away and unhappily changed the subject. "This place's a lot cleaner tha' mine," she said.

"Is it, now?" said a strong female voice from the doorway. "Phillipa, who might this be?"

"Her name's Clara," Phillipa said. "Clara, this's my mum."

"Hi, Mrs. Silsbury," Clara said politely, holding out her hand. "Clara Potter."

Phillipa's mother shook her hand gravely before asking, "Does your mum know you're here?"

Clara bit her lip and looked down, shamefaced.

"I'll take that as a no, then," Phillapa's mother said, not unkindly. "Perhaps I'll give her a ring. Do you know your telephone number, dear?"

Clara recited it obediently. Since she was unable to tell anyone her address because of the Fidelius Charm, Lily had pounded the number for her mobile phone into Clara's head (no landline had been installed into Grimmauld Place, so Lily had bought a mobile in the move, though she rarely used it.)

"I'll be right back, then, sweetie," Phillipa's mum said soothingly, as though Clara had been in hysterics.

Clara shrugged and turned back to Phillipa. She considered the other girl for a moment, tipping her head in concentration. "Want to be friends?" she asked suddenly.

Phillipa shrugged. "Sure," she said indifferently.

And so it was.

* * *

><p>Lily's first impression of Genevieve Silsbury was that she would get on inordinately well with Petunia. Her house was spotless and organized, even in the midst of moving, and the woman herself was impeccably groomed. Her blonde hair was gathered back into a smooth bun, and she was dressed in a slim-fitting blue dress that contrasted sharply with Lily's own t-shirt, jeans, and messy ponytail.<p>

As soon as Lily came in, they were served tea by a maid in a black-and-white dress. Lily accepted her china cup with delicately arched eyebrows, attempting to restrain her surprise and slight amusement.

"Anyways," Genevieve was saying as Lily tuned in to her chatter. "Phillipa found her outside on the street and brought her inside."

_What parent in their right mind names their child _Phillipa_? _thought Lily. "Well, thank you for calling me," she said. "I don't know how she managed to slip out of the house."

"Well, children do tend to do that if you don't keep a close enough eye on them," Genevieve said, waving a hand airily. "_Phillipa _knows not to go past the boundaries of our property."

Lily ground her teeth silently at this jab at her parenting. "It seems the girls have hit it off," Lily said, judging by the loud giggling that was emerging from the first-floor bedroom.

"Yes, Phillipa always was good at making friends," Genevieve said.

"I'm sure," Lily said, trying not to get irritated by the woman's high-and-mighty air.

"Perhaps we should organize times for them to play?" Genevieve suggested. "Where are you living? Near?"

Lily's eyes searched for an answer in the paneled woodwork over Genevieve's head. "Across the park," she invented wildly, referring to the city park across the street from Grimmauld Place. "I take Clara to play there, that's where she wandered away from me."

"Perhaps we can bring them to meet there, then," Genevieve said. "I think it would be good for Phillipa to have a friend nearby."

"Yes, for Clara, too," Lily agreed.

* * *

><p>"Issat your mum?" Phillipa asked as the pair peered into the sitting room. "She's pretty."<p>

"Yeah," Clara said.

"You don' look like her," Phillipa observed, looking Clara up and down and taking in her jet-black hair and hazel eyes. "_I _look like _my _mum."

"Mum says I look like my dad," Clara offered in explanation.

"She says you look like a _boy?_" squealed Phillipa.

"No," Clara said hastily. "I jus' have his hair an' eye color."

"You look like a boy," sniggered Phillipa.

"Stop it!" Clara said sharply. "You bein' mean!"

"Sorry," Phillipa said automatically, the smile fading from her face.

Clara nodded, disgruntled. "It okay," she allowed.

"Clara," called Lily's voice from inside the room. "It's time to go. Thanks for the tea, Genevieve."

"Anytime," Genevieve responded politely, rising to show Lily to the door.

* * *

><p>Clara held tightly to Lily's hand as Lily walked her home, chastising her.<p>

"Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to run away like that?" Lily demanded. _No, of course she doesn't, _she answered herself. _I've been putting off telling her about the war. She has no idea. I can't tell her... _"You could have been killed."

"Sorry, Mum."

"You must never leave the house unless Padfoot, Moony, Severus, or I say otherwise, got it?"

"Yes, Mum."

"I feel like I can't even let you out of my sight, Clara Alice. What on earth am I going to do with you?"

There was a heartbeat of silence. Then, in her best _I'm-little-and-innocent _tone, Clara said, "I love you, Mum."

Lily looked down at her daughter's innocent face sharply and searched it with narrowed eyes. "You've been letting Padfoot teach you how to stop my lectures again, haven't you?"

Clara raised one shoulder and let it fall. "Maybe."

Lily sighed, but a smile crossed her face.

"Mum?"

"Yes, Clara?"

"Tell me again how I look like Daddy," Clara requested. "Please."

"You _do _look like him," Lily said, smiling. "You have the color of his hair, and the color of his eyes. His chin, too, I think, but Padfoot disagrees. You look a lot like him."

"Oh," Clara said simply, disappointment ringing in her voice.

Lily let the matter drop. _What was that about, I wonder?_

* * *

><p>"How's Emmeline?" Lily asked briskly, sweeping into the kitchen.<p>

Remus glanced up from his book. "Better, I think. She woke up while you were gone. She was relieved to know she wasn't with the werewolves anymore."

"Perhaps we should move her to St. Mungo's," Lily mused. "Let me just check her over again."

She reached for her back pocket to grasp her wand, but to her dismay, it was not there. She checked her other pocket. No luck.

"I must have left my wand upstairs," she said, trying to remember when she'd put it down. "Can I use yours, Moony?"

Remus smiled. "Muggleborns," he said, shaking his head amusedly and handing her his wand handle-first. "They never learn to keep their wands with them like _proper _wizards."

Lily smacked him upside the head. "And you call yourself a proper wizard, little wolfy?" she teased in return.

Remus gave her a feral grin and returned to his book, not deigning to answer her.

A sudden screech from upstairs had both of them on their feet. "Clara!" Lily cried, preparing to run up the stairs.

"It's all right!" called Sirius' voice from upstairs. His tone had the definite note of holding back a laugh. "I got it!"

* * *

><p>Sirius got a very firm grip on himself before entering Clara's room. She was huddled against the far wall, a wand clutched in her tiny hand and her hair... Sirius bit the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing at the little girl, who was obviously distraught. Her hair was mottled pink and red, and frankly looked like a Valentine's Day Cupid had thrown up upon it.<p>

"Clara," he said, kneeling by her side.

"Go 'way."

"No."

"Don' tell Mummy."

"We'll see. Will you look at me?"

Clara sniffled and lifted her head from its place in the crook of her elbow. Sirius pulled out his wand and Conjured a handkerchief. Clara took it and wiped her eyes. "Tank you."

"You're welcome. Want to tell me what you're doing with your Mum's wand?" Sirius asked.

Clara sobbed again. Sirius drew her into a hug and held her as she cried some more. Finally, Clara sniffled, "This," and pointed to her hair.

"Want me to fix it?"

Clara nodded.

Sirius waved his wand, removing the garish mottled color and replacing it with Clara's own dark hair. "Why?" he asked simply, moving back from her and leaning against the side of her four-poster bed. He stowed his wand back inside his jacket.

"Because Mummy's hair is so pretty an' mine is just plain black an' Phillipa said I didn't look like her an' she said I looked like a boy an' I want Mummy's hair and I want to look like Mummy but I can't because I don't know how to do magic like she can an' I'll never be like her an'—" Clara stopped, seemingly unable to come up with any other reason for what she'd done.

Sirius spared a moment to be slightly impressed that Clara had managed to get so close to red hair, but brushed the feeling aside. "So you want to look more like your Mum?" he clarified.

Clara nodded.

"But you _do _look like her," Sirius said, feigning astonishment.

"I do?" Clara asked wonderingly.

"Mm-hmm. Look at the shape of your eyes. Almonds, like your Mum's," Sirius pointed out. "And your hair—it might be the color of James', but trust me, Clara, you've got what you want in the texture of it. James' hair was always flying everywhere, not that he minded, but Lily's hair is soft like yours."

Clara offered him a half-hearted smile.

"And what does color matter, anyway?" Sirius asked. "Nothing. I can't even see color when I'm in dog form. Just black and white. You look almost exactly like your Mum then."

"Really?" Clara asked hopefully.

"Really," Sirius said kindly. "And you're the prettiest little girl I've ever laid eyes on. Now will you come downstairs with me and apologize to your Mum for stealing her wand?"

Clara gave a final sniffle and got to her feet with a nod. "You gonna tell her about my hair?"

"We'll keep that between us, how's that?" Sirius said, standing and taking Clara's hand.

Clara brightened considerably. "Love you, Padfoot," she said happily.

"I love you, too," Sirius said. He felt a pang of grief course over him. _Oh, Prongs, you should have been the one to assure her of her beauty, not me. _He let out a brief, mental laugh. _And I never should have been a father, but now I sure as hell feel like one._

_And it's not as bad as I would have thought, _he added, squeezing the little girl's hand.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) Happy almost Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoyed the little Valentine's colored Easter egg (Valentine's egg?) in this chapter._

_As usual, thank you so much for reading and for your lovely responses. It warms my heart to know that people are reading and enjoying something that I've written. I'm working hard on the next chapter, and hope to have it up soon!_

_Make my day and leave me a review?_


	11. A Day at the Zoo

**Warning: **Brief/mild instance of language.

_(A/N) EDIT: A contradictory moment was fixed regarding Clara's age. Thanks to Rina-The-Fangirl-01 for pointing out the mistake._

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 11. A Day at the Zoo<span>

"Don't take her anywhere near the Chimera cage!" Lily said as Severus helped Clara put her coat on. "Or the Erumpent."

"I won't," Severus said, winking at Clara.

Lily sighed, and asked for the fiftieth time, "Couldn't you just take her to a Muggle zoo?"

"No," said Severus. "Then I'll have to drive, and that's twice as dangerous as a _cross_ between a Chimera and an Erumpent."

Lily nodded in grudging agreement. She turned to her daughter. "Be good, Clara," she said, half-smiling as the _yeah, right _face she knew so well from James flashed across Clara's face. "Do as Severus tells you. And have a good time."

"Yes, Mummy," said Clara, taking her godfather's hand and tugging on it. "C'mon, Sev!"

Severus laughed and led her to the fireplace.

"You're _sure _it's safe to use the Floo Network?" Lily demanded.

"It is for me," Severus said patiently. "I'm supposed to be a Death Eater. Whoever's watching the Network at the Ministry for the Dark Lord won't look twice at me, even if I've got someone with me."

Lily gave him a dubious look and straightened the lapels of Clara's coat. "You will be careful, won't you, dear?"

"_Mum,_" Clara said in a tone of almost teenager-worthy _stop-treating-me-like-I'm-six._

Lily scoffed slightly at this. _But she_ is _six_.

Severus pulled Clara close to his side. "I will take care of her, Lily," he promised, and threw a handful of Floo powder into the flames. "The Circe Zoo of London!"

Lily looked after them fondly. "She deserves a normal childhood," Lily decided. "And you can't hold on to them forever."

"Hard as you may try," commented Sirius from the doorway with a grin.

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>"Whassat?" Clara demanded, turning one way and yanking on Severus' hand to pull him with her.<p>

"A cockatrice," Severus answered, rubbing his shoulder. It would be dislocated by the end of the day, he decided.

"Whassat?" Clara turned her attention to the next animal.

"Mackled Malaclaw," Severus said. "Don't get too close, get pinched by one of those and you'll have bad luck for a week."

Clara stared in awe for a moment at the lobster-like animals before turning her attention to the next cage. "PONIES!" she cried happily, releasing Severus to race to the bars.

Severus jogged to keep up with her, finally reaching her with her face pressed up against the bars. "Abraxans," he corrected lightly, catching his breath.

The huge winged horses were regarding Clara solemnly as she stared at them adoringly. Satisfied that Clara wouldn't move for a while, Severus sank onto a nearby bench to wait for her.

The Circe Zoo had been put in place several years ago. Before it had been opened to the public, it had served as a research facility for the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. The Ministry had seen the Galleon-making possibilities and changed it to an attraction and named it after a witch in ancient history who was particularly adept at human-to-animal transfiguration.

_As if I couldn't do that with a flick of my wand, _Severus thought to himself. He fingered the ebony wood inside his pocket, rubbing it gently, on edge for no apparent reason. He glanced over at Clara and found her still trying to make friends with the Abraxans. He smiled.

"Clara!" he called. "Want to go see if you can un-riddle a Sphinx?" He pointed to the pavilion which was advertising just that.

Clara raced over. "Oh, yes, yes!" she cried.

They waited in the line for the Sphinx, Clara practically bouncing up and down in her excitement. "Hi!" she greeted the Sphinx breathlessly.

"So young," said the Sphinx, looking down at her and grating his lion-claws along the bottom of his cage.

"I'm six," Clara said, disgruntled, putting her hands on her hips.

The Sphinx smiled. "Ahh, of course, my mistake," he purred. "Practically a lady, then."

"Ge' on with it," said the surly guard next to them. "Give 'er a riddle."

The Sphinx shot him a nasty look, then said, "All things do I devour, be it beast or bird or tree or flower. I gnaw at iron, I bite at steel, and I grind all stones to meal. What am I?"

Clara paused and wrinkled her brow, thinking hard. "I know!" she said finally. "Padfoot, when he's hungry!"

Severus doubled up in laughter, laughing so hard he was practically crying.

The Sphinx regarded him coolly for a moment before turning back to Clara. "No," he said. "The answer was time. Try again."

Clara looked slightly put out. "Sev, you okay?" she asked as they walked away.

"Fine," Severus gasped out, carefully getting himself under control. "Black when he's hungry," he said, shaking his head. "So true."

"Where now?" Clara asked cheerfully, peering around.

"How about the aquarium?" Severus suggested with carefully regained composure. _How does she do that to me? _he wondered, marveling at Clara. _Nobody else can make me laugh like that. _"See some Ramoras and Grindylows?"

"Ooh, yes," Clara said, glancing at a signpost and heading off.

"Clara," Severus said. The little girl whirled around. He pointed. "This way."

Clara headed back towards him and led him in the correct direction. "What a Ramora?" she asked.

"It's a silver fish, magical, and very rare," Severus explained. "Sailors call them guardians of the deep."

Clara began to skip. "Come on, then, slowpoke!" she said happily.

Severus jogged to keep up with her but quickly fell behind. _Why did I volunteer my Saturday for this, again? _he thought to himself.

A crack of Apparition sounded in his ears. _But you're not supposed to be able to Apparate in the park—unless—_

A scream sounded in his ears and he whirled. More cracks of Apparition filled the air, popping in rapid succession like popcorn. "CLARA!" he shouted.

Spells began firing as men in dark cloaks attacked the many families that filled the pathways. Animals screamed in terror. Severus' wand was in his hand without him quite knowing how it got there. "CLARA!" he screamed again, pushing his way through the chaotic crowd toward the aquarium, a panic in his chest like he'd only felt one time before—the night Voldemort decided to attack Lily.

Suddenly, Clara was at his side, having slipped back through the crowd in the frenzy.

"Sev, what happening?" she asked, clutching his robes with fear in her eyes.

"Death Eaters," he said shortly, pulling her close. He refrained from firing off a Shield Charm to save the families that were falling around him. He began to run for the exit.

"OI!" shouted one Death Eater. "ONE'S GETTING AWAY!"

Four streams of light flew past him and a brick wall filled the archway of the exit. Severus hesitated over a moment's decision and whirled to face the Death Eaters in his pursuit.

"Travers," he greeted coldly. "Let me out."

"Snape?" said the man in the lead. "What are you doing here?"

"Gaining the trust of the Order," Severus responded, indicating Clara. "Let my charge and me go."

"You, yes, but the girl..." Travers trailed off suggestively. "I'm sure the werewolves would appreciate a morsel like her."

Severus willed his hand not to bring his wand up and curse Travers into oblivion for even suggesting such a thing. "And that will somehow lead the Order to place more trust in me?" he demanded smoothly. "No, I must get the girl home and tell everyone how I saved her from a Death Eater attack."

"Fine," Travers said shortly, waving his wand to Vanish the brick wall in their way. "I have to get back to the fight."

Severus waved him off and, yanking Clara by the hand, raced through the exit. He spared only a glance over his shoulder as they left. A roar and a puff of smoke flew up from the distance. Severus prayed hard that the Death Eaters had not seen fit to release the Chimaeras.

* * *

><p>"You're home early," Lily said, pulling open the front door and beaming. "I wasn't expected you until dinner! Why didn't you use the Floo Net—<em>oof<em>!"

Clara had flown to her mother's arms and impacted hard, hugging her tightly. "Scary," she whimpered.

The smile slid quickly off Lily's face. "Severus Tobias Snape, you better not have frightened my daughter," she said darkly. She led Clara inside without offering to let Severus in, but he followed anyways.

"Tell Mummy what happened," Lily said soothingly, once Clara was seated on one of the couches in the parlor.

"Nasty men in cloaks," Clara muttered, burying her face in Lily's sweater.

"Death Eaters?" Lily asked briefly of Severus, who nodded. "How did you get away?"

Severus shrugged and collapsed into an armchair. "Got lucky enough to run into a Death Eater that was important enough to recognize me for who I am but unimportant enough to not challenge my orders. Much."

"Another massacre, then?" Lily asked, more resigned than shocked. "They're getting more frequent, and more unpredictable. The last was on known Order members; this one was on completely innocent families and children. Doesn't he ever tell you about these attacks?"

"The Dark Lord?" Severus clarified unnecessarily. "Occasionally. He told me about the last one only minutes before it occurred. I only just got the news to Dumbledore."

"He didn't tell you about this one?" Lily queried.

Anger flared in Severus' face. "Do you really think I would have taken my goddaughter there if I had _known _about the attack? For Merlin's sake, Lily, she was almost werewolf food!"

Lily was aghast. "Of course not, Severus!" she said. "I shouldn't have suggested—I was just so—" she paused and gathered her breath. "I'm sorry."

Severus nodded to accept her apology.

"Mummy?" Clara asked. "Why those men so mean?"

Green eyes met hazel and Lily knew she had to tell her daughter the truth. The war wasn't going anywhere for a long time. She took a deep breath and glanced at Severus, who was watching with an impassive expression on his face. "Clara," she started. "Sometimes, people are really bad to one another."

"Bad like me stealing your wand?" Clara mumbled, ashamed.

"Worse than that," Lily answered with a small smile. "They want to hurt or kill people to get what they want."

Clara's mouth formed a small 'O' as she listened, unable to fathom such an atrocity.

"When good people, like Moony, Padfoot, Sev, or me, stand up to them and fight against them, it becomes something called a war," Lily went on, struggling to find the right words. "Wars can go on for a long time."

"An' that's what's happening righ' now?" Clara surmised. "Bad people in cloaks?"

"Right," Lily confirmed.

"Why don' the bad people jus' ask for what they want?" Clara wanted to know. "Or do puppy-dog eyes, like Padfoot taught me?"

Lily was overcome by a brief image of Voldemort doing puppy-dog eyes and fought down a laugh with some effort. "That won't work," Lily said carefully. "The people want things that would be bad. They don't like Muggles, or Muggleborns, like me."

"Why not?"

_She would have to ask the hard one. _"I don't know," Lily answered truthfully. "Probably just because they're different."

"That's silly," Clara decided.

"Mm-hmm," Lily agreed. "Don't you ever be mean to someone because they're different from you."

"I won't," Clara promised, sliding off the couch. "Where Padfoot 'n Moony? I wanna play wolfy again."

"Yes, where are the mutts?" Severus asked, leaning back in his chair. "I would have expected to see their muzzles down here before now."

"They took Emmeline to the Tonks flat," Lily answered, swatting Severus slightly for his insult. "Andromeda has an extra room since Nymphadora's off at Hogwarts."

Clara padded from the room in search of them anyway, and Lily sank backwards into the couch and buried her face in her hands.

"Lil?" Severus asked, coming over and putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You okay?"

Lily shook her head. "I just had to tell my daughter that bad things don't just happen in nightmares," she said into her hands. "I had to tell her that people won't always be nice to you just because it's right. How could I possibly be all right after telling her that? Ruining her innocence?"

"You didn't," Severus said. "You can't, Lily. Clara is practically the definition of innocence. All you did was clear up a question that she's probably had for a while."

"You think?" Lily asked, seeking reassurance.

"I do," Severus said, hugging her briefly before standing. "I have to go, Lily, I have papers to grade."

Lily laughed. "You sound so excited," she said dryly.

"Far from it, my dear, far from it. You'll be all right until the mutts get home?"

"I'll be fine," Lily said with amusement in her voice. "Must you call them that?"

"Yes, I really must," Severus said. "If only to keep my own sanity."

Lily shook her head slightly, smiling, and got up to see him to the door.

* * *

><p>For the first time in years, Lily dreamed again of Harry.<p>

Her eyes drifted open at the sound of a school bell. She found herself in a Muggle school classroom, bigger than the one she herself had learned in as a child.

She searched the desks for Harry but couldn't find him.

"All right, class, settle down," the teacher called, as the class—seven or eight-year-olds, Lily decided—took their seats.

Thundering feet from the hallway approached. Two boys, one short and skinny with black hair—Harry—and the other large and fat, entered at a run, the heavier one panting a great deal.

"Sorry we're late, Miss Morgan!" Harry said breathlessly. His clothes were overlarge and baggy. Lily narrowed her eyes at the shabbiness of his attire compared to the clothes of who was undoubtedly Petunia's son, Dudley. "Dudley wouldn't get out of—"

"Don't pin this on me, Potter," Dudley snapped. "It was his fault, Miss Morgan, I swear. You can ask my mother, she'll tell you."

The teacher pursed her lips. Petunia Dursley always backed up her son's words and had led her to believe that Harry was nothing but a hoodlum. "Mr. Potter," she finally said, "You may spend the morning in the time-out chair." She pointed at the hard wooden chair in the front corner of the room, well in staring view of the other children.

"But—"

"If you complain, Mr. Potter, we'll have to make it the afternoon, as well."

Lily fumed.

"But what about Dud—"

"_Now_," said Miss Morgan, propelling him to the chair. Dudley started a chorus of snickers to run through the room. The teacher did nothing to stop them.

Harry watched the teacher with a death glare, his eyes practically spitting fire as she began the lesson. Lily went over and knelt beside him.

"I hate you," she heard him whisper, out of earshot of his teacher.

Lily glanced at the teacher, and did a double take. Her grey hair was rapidly turning color. As she watched, it became bluer and bluer until it was a dazzling bright azure.

The class was silent. Then, one girl in the back began to giggle softly. Another child snickered. Chuckles spread. Soon the entire class was roaring with laughter, the Miss Morgan crying, "What? What? What is it?"

The class roared on. Harry was watching the teacher with mortification. He stared down at his hands and looked back up at her. The look on his face clearly said, '_Did I do that?'_

Lily bit her lip to keep from laughing so that she could hear what was going on.

"Miss Smith!" shrieked the teacher. "What is happening?"

The blonde girl in the front removed her hand from her mouth and choked out, "Hair..."

"Yes? Yes?"

"It's...it's _blue,_" the girl said before giving in to laughter once more.

Miss Morgan shrieked and reached up. To everyone's surprise, she wrenched on her hair to yank it into her vision and—the entire thing came off.

"A wig," said one boy through his laughter. The children redoubled into their mirth, a few falling on the floor from the hilarity of it all.

Miss Morgan let the blue wig fall to the floor and sprinted from the room.

Harry was grinning slightly now, still a bit shocked-looking.

Lily reached out a hand to touch him, to comfort him, to tell him that it was just a little accidental magic, nothing to worry about.

The scene faded to black before her hand was all the way raised.

Lily woke with her hand stretched out in front of her as if to touch a boy that wasn't there.

* * *

><p>"Hi, Mrs. Silsbury, is Phillipa home?" Clara asked.<p>

"Clara!" The blonde flew past her mother and hugged Clara tightly. "C'n I go play, Mum, please?"

"Is your mum in the park, Clara?" Genevieve asked.

Clara nodded earnestly. "She's reading in that patch of trees, there," she lied, pointing. "She said I could come." A huge black dog sat watching them at the edge of the trees.

"Then go," Genevieve said. "Be home for supper, though."

Phillipa and Clara linked arms and raced toward the park to play.

"Want to play witch and princess?" Phillipa asked. It was their usual game.

"Yeah," Clara answered. "C'n I be the witch?"

"How come you always wanna be the witch?" Phillpa asked, curious, as they headed for the circle of rocks that was always the castle.

Clara shrugged. "It's fun, I guess. You wanna be the princess, right?"

"Well, yeah."

Clara bent to the ground at picked up a stick, breaking off a relatively straight part. "This can be my magic wand," she said.

"Don't be stupid," Phillipa said haughtily. "Witches don't use wands. They just use their hands and lots of potions."

"They use wands," Clara argued.

"How would _you _know?"

Clara opened her mouth to retort, but closed it. "How was your birthday?" she asked instead.

"Really good," Phillipa answered, accepting the change of subject easily. "I got lots of presents. Do you know what you're getting for yours?"

"A broomstick from Padfoot," said Clara without thinking about it. "He always gives me one."

"What are you going to do with a broomstick?" Phillipa asked, curious.

Clara bit her lip. "Oh, you know, pretend it can fly like a witch's...play house...stuff like that," she said, trying to sound dismissive. Hastily, she added, "Let's play, okay?"

"Okay," Phillipa agreed. She clambered up onto one of the rocks in the park and shouted, "Stop there, witch!"

Clara bent practically double like a hunchbacked hag and responded, "Why should I?"

"Because I am the princess and you have to do what I say!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"We'll see about that!" Clara said, cackling like a fairy-tale witch. "I will bring a storm that will knock you off your castle wall! Abracadabra, alakazam! Send her a storm like a battering ram!"

"Pshh," Phillipa scoffed. "That's a lame spell!"

"Can't you just pretend it worked?" Clara demanded.

"No," Phillipa sniffed. "Because it didn't!"

Clara fumed. "Then I'll _make _it work!" she said angrily and raised her hands. The wind picked up. Clouds came close together. A wall of wind and rain hit Phillipa and knocked her backwards off the rock.

"Phillipa!" Clara said, alarmed, widening her narrowed eyes. The wall of wind dissipated as quickly as it had been wrought.

Phillipa was rubbing her backside and crying by the time Clara had raced around the rock to see her. "How di' you _do _that?" she demanded, sobbing. "How di' you know that was gonna happen?"

"I didn't!" Clara cried, much too loudly.

"Yes, you did!"

"No!" Clara said, wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that would happen!"

Phillipa got up and shot her a nasty look. "I'm going home," she said tearfully, and left Clara standing by the rocks, staring after her.

* * *

><p>"Mummy!" Clara cried and raced through the door of number twelve.<p>

"Easy, tiger," Remus said, catching her flying hug. "What's up?"

"I did magic!" Clara exclaimed happily. "Padfoot saw!" She indicated the bear-like dog that followed her into the house and slipped past her to the kitchen.

"What did you do?" Remus asked, grinning.

Clara stopped looking happy and put on an appropriately shameful face. She turned beet red and mumbled something inaudible.

"Sorry, didn't catch that," Remus said lightly.

"I knocked Phillipa down," Clara admitted.

Remus considered this information. "Was she hurt?"

"Not really."

"Does she know it was magic?"

"I dunno."

Remus nodded, once, twice. A broad grin spread over his face as he said, "Come on, then, let's tell your mother."

Clara nodded and led him up the stairs to the drawing room, where Lily was sprawled on the new, comfortable furniture, reading.

"Mum!" Clara said, leaping up onto the sofa next to her mother, bouncing. "I did magic!"

Lily closed her book and hugged Clara tightly, smiling happily. "That's wonderful, love," she said warmly. "Were you alone?"

"No," Clara admitted. "With Phillipa."

Lily pursed her lips. "Did she see you?"

Clara nodded.

"Clara, you have to be careful," Lily admonished, pushing her red hair away from her face in exasperation. "You could get us all in trouble if Phillipa finds out about it."

"How?" Clara demanded.

Lily released her and tapped Clara's nose with a finger. "If she finds out about us, we'd have to move. We'd have to get rid of Headquarters, too."

"No!" Clara said in a hushed voice. She loved the comings and goings of various members of the Order.

"Worse, you could lose Phillipa's friendship for good," Lily said. "That's how your Aunt Petunia and I started to grow apart."

"Really?" Clara asked, wide-eyed.

Lily nodded. "So be careful, sweetheart. Did Phillipa go home?"

"Yeah. She was crying."

Lily stood. "You'll have to apologize to her. And I'll have to listen to Genevieve's rantings about how I need to control my daughter, again."

"Sorry," Clara said again in a small voice.

Lily hugged her. "It's okay, Clara," she said. "I know you can't control it, and I know it's exciting."

Clara brightened considerably and nodded.

"Now clean up for dinner," Lily said. "Padfoot's cooking, so be careful not to eat too much of it."

Clara stuck her tongue out. "Yech."

* * *

><p>Lily took a bite of...whatever it was Sirius had cooked...and nearly choked. She chewed, trying not to let her expression of disgust go through to her face.<p>

Sirius was watching her eagerly. "Is it good?" he asked.

Lily made a noise that might generously been accepted as an affirmative answer. She shook her head at Remus, and he, about to take a bite, put his fork back down on his plate. Clara was still staring at the brownish gooey mess disgustedly.

"What recipe did you use?" Lily asked around her mouthful of the slightly chewy substance.

"Recipe?" Sirius repeated. "Who needs those?"

Lily swallowed hard and felt the mess slide down her throat. She coughed slightly and raised her hand in a _'me!' _motion.

"It's awful, isn't it?" Sirius said dejectedly.

Lily glanced appealingly at Remus, who valiantly took up the task. "She doesn't want to tell you, Padfoot," he said seriously, "but this really is disgusting."

"It is not," Sirius protested. He took a large bite to prove his point. His defiant expression slid off his face as he chewed, replaced by a look of sheer disgust. He swallowed.

"Cereal, anyone?" Lily asked, getting up and going to the pantry as Sirius gulped down his water.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said as Remus Vanished the remains of his attempt at cooking.

Lily handed out bowls and poured cereal for herself and Clara.

"It's okay," Clara said, digging into her corn flakes.

Once everyone had decent food in front of them, Lily asked, "Did you get what I needed at Diagon Alley, Remus?"

"The potion ingredients?" Remus responded. "Yes. Except the lacewing flies, they only had a few and what they did have were rotted. I can get some free, next time, though." Lily nodded in acceptance.

"Anything else interesting happen?" Sirius asked after silence wore on for a moment.

"Oh, not really," Remus said easily, taking a bite and chewing. "Ran into Kingsley outside Quality Quidditch Supplies, had a nice chat with him. Stopped by Florean's to get some ice cream for Clara—it's in the icebox, you can have it after supper. Oh, and I survived an attempted murder by the werewolves."

Lily's spoon clattered to the table and she stared at him.

"Don't look like that, Lily," Remus said. "It was a sad excuse for a plan, anyways."

"What happened?" demanded Sirus.

Remus shrugged. "One of them asked for a word and led me down a side alley. The dark alley was my first tip off. The others came and surrounded me."

"_Why?_" Lily asked, shocked.

"Because I stole their fresh-kill," Remus answered. "Emmeline," he clarified at the others' blank looks.

"But that was over a year ago!" Lily protested.

"And werewolves have long memories," Remus said. "I surmised that food has been a bit short for them these days. Anyway, there was a huge gap in their plan. They forgot I had a wand."

Sirius snickered. "You probably took them out with one spell, huh, Moony?"

"Three, but yes, it was rather easy."

Lily went back to her cereal. "And you just decided to wait until supper to tell us this?" she asked.

Remus lifted and raised a shoulder in a _so-what _motion. "I didn't get hurt."

"Did you kick their butts, Moony?" was Clara's question (ignoring Lily's admonishing "_Clara!_")

Remus laughed. "You bet I did."

* * *

><p>"Oh, come in, Yaxley, come in," Millicent Bagnold, Minister of Magic, said in a harried voice. "Did you get the files I sent you?"<p>

"Yes, Minister," answered Yaxley smoothly.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep the mass breakout silent, Yaxley," Bagnold said tiredly, fixing her spectacles on her nose. "I don't even know if I should."

"You should most certainly keep it quiet, Minister," Yaxley said. "The panic an Azkaban breakout would cause—"

"People are already panicking," Bagnold snapped.

Yaxley was quiet for a moment. Then, "Your secretary tells me you haven't left the office in weeks."

"There's too much to do," Bagnold responded.

"Well, you must take care of yourself," Yaxley said slickly, smiling slightly. "A witch of your age, and the amount of stress you're under, it's a wonder you haven't collapsed by now."

"Your concern is touching, Yaxley, but I haven't the time."

Yaxley's slightly sinister grin spread a bit. "At least let me get you a cup of tea."

Bagnold waved her hand. "Fine," she said, running a hand through her graying hair. "A cup of tea would be nice."

Yaxley got up and left the room, re-entering a moment later with two cups of tea. He gently placed one in front of the Minister and sat down again.

"Your secretary had just made a pot," he said. "Imagine that."

Bagnold took a sip. "Thank you, Yaxley."

"Don't thank me," Yaxley said, smiling.

Bagnold raised a hand and placed it against her chest, frowning. "What's in this, Yaxley?"

Yaxley smirked. "A very rare poison with absolutely no antidote. So don't bother calling for help."

The Minister opened her mouth to do just that, but found, with the constriction in her chest, that anything more than a whisper was beyond her. "Why?" she demanded hoarsely.

"The Dark Lord commanded it," Yaxley answered with a shrug.

Bagnold gasped for breath as her airway closed. "Damn you to eternity of hell, Yaxley," she choked out. "You-Know-Who will never win."

"Unfortunately, he already has as far as you are concerned," Yaxley said pleasantly. "Have a good day, Minister. Or rather, another few minutes."

He got up and left the office, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p><em>(AN) So we jumped another couple of years into the future at the beginning of this chapter. Hope it wasn't too jarring. It should be relatively steady going from here on out, at least the way I'm planning it now. _

_Thanks for reading and reviewing so far, everyone! I sincerely hope that you are all enjoying the story. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter or in general!_


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